roma built with my eyes closed
hey it's been a really long time since i wrote in this thing. man i think the last serious entry was about a band i was in. yea we broke up which is shitty but when one doors closes 2 more open. I have been so werid l8ly like i look at myself & i have no motivation 2 do much. Like i'm sick of school & most the people around me, i'm dieing for a change in my life, something 2 wake up 2 & look forward beside going 2 work. Like the only place i look forward goin2 is work because i make money & the people around me are funny & just good hearted people. Otherwise i feel empty & so worthless. I can't remember the time i had a smile that last more than a min, like the type of thing that u think of & just smile. I wish i had that so badly bc i see people with that & they seem 2 be doing so well. I get so jealous that i become numb. Like even with music & bands things are shitty i'm watchin every band become so good & i'm making such efforts 2 go somewhere & i'm still stuck in this fucking 60 foot hole in the ground. I've tryed so fuckin hard 2 be a good person & now this is what i'm stuck with, nothing. I have nothing worth smiling for & that something worth smiling for is so fare away that i can't even think of it as a realistic thing. I just wish i can get away from everything & everyone for like a year so i can just clear my head.