(no subject)
Netflix, you beast.
I've sunk back into Doctor Who. Also rewatching my Fringe DVDs since the new seasons starts soon.
School's going alright. I'm trying not to stress myself out like I did last semester. Of course, this runs the risk of seniorly laziness, but I'm too neurotic for that to happen right now. The desperation to do something with my life and get the hell out of retail is motivating me to stay on the path.
I've been thinking about that quite a bit the last year--life, that is. While combating self-doubt and feeling inadequate, I've been losing patience with anything in my life that doesn't make sense. Some feelings just eat away at you, you know? Worse than tape worms in your gut. I've waited and waited, pleaded with time, and begged the stars to drop someone a clue.
I've tried before to tell someone that I'm unhappy. Rather than engage me in conversation, ask me what's wrong, tell me to let it all out... they asked how my unhappiness affects them. It was then that I knew how broken things were. It was then that I knew they'd never grow. They hadn't grown. And not because I was being selfish and needed someone to be there for me. Because they'd never had anything to talk about with me that was deeper than a shot glass. There's no future there. They live in the present. I grow each day. If I were a tree, I would wonder which branch will bloom next. They are content being a sapling. I want to reach for the sun and have a perfect view of the stars at night.
Well, now that I've run that metaphor into the ground, I think I'll go to bed.
I've sunk back into Doctor Who. Also rewatching my Fringe DVDs since the new seasons starts soon.
School's going alright. I'm trying not to stress myself out like I did last semester. Of course, this runs the risk of seniorly laziness, but I'm too neurotic for that to happen right now. The desperation to do something with my life and get the hell out of retail is motivating me to stay on the path.
I've been thinking about that quite a bit the last year--life, that is. While combating self-doubt and feeling inadequate, I've been losing patience with anything in my life that doesn't make sense. Some feelings just eat away at you, you know? Worse than tape worms in your gut. I've waited and waited, pleaded with time, and begged the stars to drop someone a clue.
I've tried before to tell someone that I'm unhappy. Rather than engage me in conversation, ask me what's wrong, tell me to let it all out... they asked how my unhappiness affects them. It was then that I knew how broken things were. It was then that I knew they'd never grow. They hadn't grown. And not because I was being selfish and needed someone to be there for me. Because they'd never had anything to talk about with me that was deeper than a shot glass. There's no future there. They live in the present. I grow each day. If I were a tree, I would wonder which branch will bloom next. They are content being a sapling. I want to reach for the sun and have a perfect view of the stars at night.
Well, now that I've run that metaphor into the ground, I think I'll go to bed.