Oh When It All...It All Falls dOwN..
If I was not such an optimistic person..I'd say my life will never get better..
But I know it will. I know that I'm going to have to get away from the Mike/Justin bullshit and forget them both b/c even though I belong with one of them..he spends his weekends ignoring me to the fullest possible extent that he can. And I make myself sick (literally..I think my throat is on fire and my nose has a village of gnomes blocking my breathing passage) waiting for him to call and thinkin about all the little things he's doing..and sitting outside his friends house in 20 degree weather just waiting for the time I can jump out and kiss him.
It's all like a fairy tale, that I know I'll dream about forever. Let's face it: I'm not ever going to get back together with Michael again. To the stupid BITCH who likes to leave random comments on my livejournal without their NAME: it doesn't have anything to do with him MOVING ON, so mind ya business.
Now, things with Justin? I can't even say that we're so much as friends. But that's O.K. too because, I don't need him. Actually, I can't even say that I need Mike anymore. To my buddies in Florida who read my LJ..you guys know what I'm about. Let me break this down for you real fast..
Me & Mike broke up b/c we were together way too much and then I heard a rumor that he was cheating on me..and b/c i was already bitter about everything and my life was goin to hell in a handbasket so things got worse with me and Mike and because I was always hanging out with Justin..Idk. So in the end I was with Justin, and Mike had this new girlfriend that he apparently didn't even like...so I told him I wanted to be wit hhim because that's what i realized, that all the things in my life were unapparent, but at least THIS was. So he broke up with his "girlfriend" and i broke up with Justin but..Mike decides he wants to tell me he'll call me and I wait up for him for 13 HOURS by my phone and make all these arrangements to go home from work sick n everything n watch this phone but he never called. I went looking everywhere for him, where he works, his friends houses, everywhere. I concluded that he had to be with the girl he supposedly broke up with. We asked her and she avoided the question many many times. So that proves it right? No..but..then his friends at his lunch table tell me that he told them "we're not goin out,i'm just gettin ass from her"...OKAY COOL!!! Then I have different ppl call his house to see which one his bitchy fuckin mom will let him talk to. Nobody. Not one. So then I call his friend and he says Mikes gonna be over there so we go over there..but Mike goes out with that fuckin GIRL instead.
How am I supposed to feel? Well i finally got ahold of him and asked him if he wanted to be with that girl and he said no. He lied. GO FUCKIN FIGURE.
He said he'd call me from his sisters so I wait up until 3:45 this morning but .....did I get a phone call?? No. SO i'm on the edge of breaking down (if i didn't already yesterday n the day before)...and I think i'm just gonna say fuck it.