Too Pregnant
Why, oh why am I up??!??!! I *so* desperately want to sleep -- I need to sleep -- and my body is just not cooperating. I specifically spent the night at my house (i.e. not at the farm) hoping that a night in bed without two kids crawling in and out of bed, on top of me, etc., would give me a better chance of sleeping, but alas….. here I sit at nearly five in the morning, still awake. (Did I mention that I have someplace to be in five hours?) This has been going on for DAYS -- I can't actually believe that I am holding up as well as I am considering what my body is going through.
At the same time, this is exactly how it was at the end of my second pregnancy as well, i.e. I couldn't sleep for several days before I went into labor, thus I went into labor on NO SLEEP WHATSOEVER, which was not my preference at all -- that is *a lot* of work to do after having been awake for more than thirty-six hours. I swore that next time would be different, but here I sit.
Earlier today… um, yesterday (it still feels like today to me) I had an appointment with my midwife and found out that I was 4cm dilated and 60% effaced (that's about half way there for those of you playing at home) and that those uncomfortable, crampy things I've been feeling are called "contractions." I don't what it is about me, but I am consistently in denial about contractions -- I always want to call them something else, or pretend they're not happening, or otherwise avoid the fact that my body is getting ready to have a baby.
However, my doula is out of town until Friday, and my Hubby is very busy at work until then (or is supposed to be - obviously he drops everything if I actually go into labor), so it would be much more convenient for my schedule (hahahahahaha) if I could wait until then. (I would also prefer to make it to school tomorrow night.) Thus, I am staying off of my feet as much as possible and really trying to take it easy. This has seemed to help -- there for a while I was having a contraction (short and mild though they were) about every fifteen minutes; now it is mostly only when I stand up, shift positions, walk, or go up stairs.
I also have a homeschool co-op meeting in a few hours, and this week I was one of the moms who was supposed to be leading / bringing activities. We didn't go last week because we spent the whole week out at the farm (I was on Spring Break) so M was really very interested in going this week. As a parent, it is important to me to follow through on the things I say I will do with my kids, so barring actually being in labor / at the hospital, I promised her that we would try to go. My mom is bringing them up to Cincinnati and my Hubby is dropping me (and the wheelchair) off there at ten, then I'll ride back out to the farm with my mom for the afternoon, then to school (my mom will take me) in the evening. If I'm still looking like I can hold out on this labor thing, my Hubby will probably pick me up from school, I'll spend the night in the city again, and will attempt to make it to a faculty training meeting at my place of employment on Friday morning. (I'm on maternity leave right now, but plan to go back about a week after the baby is born.) After that, my doula will be back in town, and I am free to birth any time.
I actually spent a good part of my evening grading papers for a class I haven't taught in three weeks -- I'm not sure how I got talked into that, but mostly I did it out of consideration for my students; I didn't want someone else grading their papers, especially since the person who is teaching the class in my absence is NOT an English person. It was about the last thing I wanted to do right then (that is when I was still having contractions and trying to get all of my stuff in order in case I gave birth tonight) but it's done now, and hey -- I'll get paid. Then I cut out construction paper flower parts for the homeschool group tomorrow and my Hubby henna painted my belly for probably the last time. (The henna lasts for about two weeks and I seriously doubt I will go that much longer.) We then ran our final errand, off to the grocery store (I rode one of those spiffy motorized carts) to buy the contraband food and drinks for labor. I'm ALL ready to go to the hospital now -- everything is packed, I am registered at the hospital, my midwives know they will probably see me soon, all grandmas are on alert. Now, just to hold out until Friday AND TRY TO GET SOME REST IN THE MEANTIME!!!!!
So, I guess I'm off to bed to try again. I had some nice, sleepy tea and hopefully that will help a little. I mean, it's not like I'm not TIRED or anything. Ah, hormones….. I wish they'd give it a rest, and let me rest, for just a few hours.
At the same time, this is exactly how it was at the end of my second pregnancy as well, i.e. I couldn't sleep for several days before I went into labor, thus I went into labor on NO SLEEP WHATSOEVER, which was not my preference at all -- that is *a lot* of work to do after having been awake for more than thirty-six hours. I swore that next time would be different, but here I sit.
Earlier today… um, yesterday (it still feels like today to me) I had an appointment with my midwife and found out that I was 4cm dilated and 60% effaced (that's about half way there for those of you playing at home) and that those uncomfortable, crampy things I've been feeling are called "contractions." I don't what it is about me, but I am consistently in denial about contractions -- I always want to call them something else, or pretend they're not happening, or otherwise avoid the fact that my body is getting ready to have a baby.
However, my doula is out of town until Friday, and my Hubby is very busy at work until then (or is supposed to be - obviously he drops everything if I actually go into labor), so it would be much more convenient for my schedule (hahahahahaha) if I could wait until then. (I would also prefer to make it to school tomorrow night.) Thus, I am staying off of my feet as much as possible and really trying to take it easy. This has seemed to help -- there for a while I was having a contraction (short and mild though they were) about every fifteen minutes; now it is mostly only when I stand up, shift positions, walk, or go up stairs.
I also have a homeschool co-op meeting in a few hours, and this week I was one of the moms who was supposed to be leading / bringing activities. We didn't go last week because we spent the whole week out at the farm (I was on Spring Break) so M was really very interested in going this week. As a parent, it is important to me to follow through on the things I say I will do with my kids, so barring actually being in labor / at the hospital, I promised her that we would try to go. My mom is bringing them up to Cincinnati and my Hubby is dropping me (and the wheelchair) off there at ten, then I'll ride back out to the farm with my mom for the afternoon, then to school (my mom will take me) in the evening. If I'm still looking like I can hold out on this labor thing, my Hubby will probably pick me up from school, I'll spend the night in the city again, and will attempt to make it to a faculty training meeting at my place of employment on Friday morning. (I'm on maternity leave right now, but plan to go back about a week after the baby is born.) After that, my doula will be back in town, and I am free to birth any time.
I actually spent a good part of my evening grading papers for a class I haven't taught in three weeks -- I'm not sure how I got talked into that, but mostly I did it out of consideration for my students; I didn't want someone else grading their papers, especially since the person who is teaching the class in my absence is NOT an English person. It was about the last thing I wanted to do right then (that is when I was still having contractions and trying to get all of my stuff in order in case I gave birth tonight) but it's done now, and hey -- I'll get paid. Then I cut out construction paper flower parts for the homeschool group tomorrow and my Hubby henna painted my belly for probably the last time. (The henna lasts for about two weeks and I seriously doubt I will go that much longer.) We then ran our final errand, off to the grocery store (I rode one of those spiffy motorized carts) to buy the contraband food and drinks for labor. I'm ALL ready to go to the hospital now -- everything is packed, I am registered at the hospital, my midwives know they will probably see me soon, all grandmas are on alert. Now, just to hold out until Friday AND TRY TO GET SOME REST IN THE MEANTIME!!!!!
So, I guess I'm off to bed to try again. I had some nice, sleepy tea and hopefully that will help a little. I mean, it's not like I'm not TIRED or anything. Ah, hormones….. I wish they'd give it a rest, and let me rest, for just a few hours.