god fucking dammit
for lack of a better deity, since i dont feel like blaming my own, im blaming all my problems on God.
its nice to have a scapegoat.
im miserable. physically and mentally miserable. im sick at the moment. coughy-sneezy-dont-feel-like-looking-at-myself-going-through-two-boxes-of-tissues-a-day sick. i cant smell anything except the mucus buildup in my nose. everything has that sick stench to it. i tried taking a warm bath, it was supposed to make me feel better and loosen up my sinuses. i felt better-ish, but i used my nicest smelling bubble bath and everything, i was supposed to raspberry...i smelled snot. my mom wanted me to sniff a new perfume she bought from Victoria's Secret and tell her if i liked it, she got all pissed off when i said "all i smell is snot".
im mentally miserable because im already feeling detached from my friends. i get to spend two months with my mom and little brother. i really cant do anything else because mum wont let me go anywhere. my only hope is getting a job. that way i can take the SunTran and socialize on the bus (blech) and then i can socialize at work. but maybe if im lucky, my aunt will decide that im socially acceptable to be in her house *if i promise to wear some colour, no makeup, and take out my piercings and plugs* then id be allowed to come over and swim. ug, i actually hate swimming. the sun factor...and the fact that im too fucking self conscious to wear a bathing suit...i dont even think i own one.
im mentally miserable because i havent seen Sara in forever. and i probably wont for a LONG time. unless by some stroke of extreme luck she moves into my house instead of living with her dad *crosses fingers*
anyways, i went out today and bought canvas' and oil pastels.
im currently creating works of art projecting my thoughts and shit like that.
lets see you people create shitty art.
its nice to have a scapegoat.
im miserable. physically and mentally miserable. im sick at the moment. coughy-sneezy-dont-feel-like-looking-at-myself-going-through-two-boxes-of-tissues-a-day sick. i cant smell anything except the mucus buildup in my nose. everything has that sick stench to it. i tried taking a warm bath, it was supposed to make me feel better and loosen up my sinuses. i felt better-ish, but i used my nicest smelling bubble bath and everything, i was supposed to raspberry...i smelled snot. my mom wanted me to sniff a new perfume she bought from Victoria's Secret and tell her if i liked it, she got all pissed off when i said "all i smell is snot".
im mentally miserable because im already feeling detached from my friends. i get to spend two months with my mom and little brother. i really cant do anything else because mum wont let me go anywhere. my only hope is getting a job. that way i can take the SunTran and socialize on the bus (blech) and then i can socialize at work. but maybe if im lucky, my aunt will decide that im socially acceptable to be in her house *if i promise to wear some colour, no makeup, and take out my piercings and plugs* then id be allowed to come over and swim. ug, i actually hate swimming. the sun factor...and the fact that im too fucking self conscious to wear a bathing suit...i dont even think i own one.
im mentally miserable because i havent seen Sara in forever. and i probably wont for a LONG time. unless by some stroke of extreme luck she moves into my house instead of living with her dad *crosses fingers*
anyways, i went out today and bought canvas' and oil pastels.
im currently creating works of art projecting my thoughts and shit like that.
lets see you people create shitty art.