Krump/Fife funeral tour comes to an end...I hope.
So I'm sitting in the Denver aiport. I've spent the last week on what I'm now calling the "Krump/Fife funeral tour" also known as an extended impromptu family reunion. I'd love to say that it was great to see the family again, but it would have been much better without 2 dead grandmothers' funerals to attend.
And what I've concluded is this...I did not have time to adequately mourn either of them. Not that I was close (at all, in fact we pretty much hated one another) with my second grandmother, but her funeral meant that my grieving my first grandmother was cut short. I'm not sure when it will hit me, but I'm guessing the next time I go home to So. Illinois and she's not there. I miss her already, I've missed her for the years Alzheimer's took her from me. She was a wonderful woman and now she is gone.
And I've also learned that while no one says a bad thing about the deceased at a funeral...my granny's was legit and honest and heartfelt while my grandmother's was contrived. It's amazing how those who put on 'airs' do such a good job coming off as a pious christian woman.
So now I'm sitting here at the airport, hoping to whomever that my kharma is good and maybe, just maybe I'll get on this next flight (I've already not gotten on one). And all I want is to get home. To get back on my diet and my routine. I had no choice but to be lax on the diet and now I'm stressing about my medical next week. Crash 'fighters' diet here I come.
Yep. I'm tired. Emotionally and physically exhausted. I hate humidity. I hate being dressed up and pall-bearing and mourning and grieving and just existing in it. I need to get home and crawl into my bed and just go to sleep for quite a while. Because to be honest with you...I haven't slept more than 4hrs a night since I got ready to leave SF. I'm done.
And what I've concluded is this...I did not have time to adequately mourn either of them. Not that I was close (at all, in fact we pretty much hated one another) with my second grandmother, but her funeral meant that my grieving my first grandmother was cut short. I'm not sure when it will hit me, but I'm guessing the next time I go home to So. Illinois and she's not there. I miss her already, I've missed her for the years Alzheimer's took her from me. She was a wonderful woman and now she is gone.
And I've also learned that while no one says a bad thing about the deceased at a funeral...my granny's was legit and honest and heartfelt while my grandmother's was contrived. It's amazing how those who put on 'airs' do such a good job coming off as a pious christian woman.
So now I'm sitting here at the airport, hoping to whomever that my kharma is good and maybe, just maybe I'll get on this next flight (I've already not gotten on one). And all I want is to get home. To get back on my diet and my routine. I had no choice but to be lax on the diet and now I'm stressing about my medical next week. Crash 'fighters' diet here I come.
Yep. I'm tired. Emotionally and physically exhausted. I hate humidity. I hate being dressed up and pall-bearing and mourning and grieving and just existing in it. I need to get home and crawl into my bed and just go to sleep for quite a while. Because to be honest with you...I haven't slept more than 4hrs a night since I got ready to leave SF. I'm done.