Thanks be to you for calling upon Avon Municipal Utility Company..
If you should find yourself in need most dire, prithee hang up your phone and dial nine and one and one. So that assistance to your door may fly, for here you shall find none.
Now, dear caller, pray attend, for the options of our menu we hath changed. And if you do not comprehend the nine shall bring you back again.
If it would be your pleasure, the balance of your accounts to measure, the number one should be your selection.
If you should wish to pay your due, the number you select is two.
Should there questions about your service be, the proper choice for you is three. To ask them of a cold machine, which hears and does not comprehend yet answers all the same.
For serviced ended, used no more, bring to a close with number four.
To bring a fresh new service live, please select the number five.
If an outage you would beg us fix, do so with the number six.
If this menu has left you vexed, still uncertain and perplexed, but one course for you remains. Let zero not be pressed in vain!
This is the culmination of an inside joke I refuse to bother explaining beyond the fact that it started with twitter and #15secondshakespeare (which you should go and view), and that it is meant to be recited by Puck.
Now, dear caller, pray attend, for the options of our menu we hath changed. And if you do not comprehend the nine shall bring you back again.
If it would be your pleasure, the balance of your accounts to measure, the number one should be your selection.
If you should wish to pay your due, the number you select is two.
Should there questions about your service be, the proper choice for you is three. To ask them of a cold machine, which hears and does not comprehend yet answers all the same.
For serviced ended, used no more, bring to a close with number four.
To bring a fresh new service live, please select the number five.
If an outage you would beg us fix, do so with the number six.
If this menu has left you vexed, still uncertain and perplexed, but one course for you remains. Let zero not be pressed in vain!
This is the culmination of an inside joke I refuse to bother explaining beyond the fact that it started with twitter and #15secondshakespeare (which you should go and view), and that it is meant to be recited by Puck.