stream of thought
reading rinn's journal makes me want to be just like her. 3 or 4 posts all in a row and my mind only works in short, fully formed thoughts that might not make sense. nafoo is gay and it makes me think of gooey, which is bad. ginny stands on her piano and makes some interesting music. I don't post on livejournal much, though i have spent a bit of time on myspace. i don't know what i want to do with my life ant that scares me a little (a lot). lizzy's world is recalling the summer of 5, with 4 right now. and like the sumemr of five, i'm alone completely and fully and yet involved (a bit too much) in at least half, somehow. i have a research paper to write for english, a class in which i am getting an a. i've had weeks to write it but i just can't, and i'm looking at a lower grade if i keep on being stupid. i tell my psychology teacher that i don't like thereapists and she says does that mean you don't like me? and i say yes. she's probably (what probably, she IS) my favorite teacher since wilson, in senior year (yeah, of high school). then she tells me how much she likes me, and i feel uncomfortable. i make cracks about myself and others, and she says i could totally have an a if i put half that effort into studying. ginny is playing with a plunger and that's really gross. as babysitter i should stop her... i take it away and she plays with her vacuum (the one she used to be scared of) and i feel much better, because i'm pretty sure the vacuum's never touched poop. i want the wall to come out, now. rinn, i know i got it at some time but i'll need your address again (andagainandagain) so as to send you a copy when it comes out (if it ever does) because i want you to see my name in print and published and be very proud of me (and i want to send random gifts whenever i feel like it). i wonder how alicia is, i haven't checked her journal in awhile because it had been so long she she'd updated. i'm not reading enough (books or fic) and i can feel my brain slipping away. i buy hotdog for 10 dollars and study every page, even the ones i don't care about. I'm a little (a lot) lonely and wish there was a boy around for me. lizzy and i have gone to a bar 4 times in the past week. i dance, wether i'm drinking or not, and sweat so much that soem bitch stops me and says 'napkins, sweetie. napkins.' and some random guy puts his beer bottle to my arm and comments that i must be having a damn good time, and i am. i've joined netflix and feel like a whore. i do the new release wall every monday and i love it. justin put it right when he said that its 'like a puzzle', and i really do love figuring it out. i eat alot of in n out, grilled cheese with light grilled onions, fries and a coke. i eat at pick up stix and only get white rice and terriyaki sauce, making my total less than 2$... i've gone more than a month without chicken and iiii feeeeel fiiiiine. (perhaps in a way it is the end of the world, as i know it.) lori is home so i get to go get lizzy, and i think i'll make her drive home. i'm teaching her to drive and its really very scary if you think about it. she's just learning to smoke and drive. i tell her that soon she'll be able to drink her coffee while driving, then she'll be able to eat while driving. but i'll be really impressed while she can vomit and keep on driving. yesterday i vomited on myself, and kept on driving. i'm going now and i want anyone who's read this entire thing to comment, even if it's to tell me to lay off the coffee (which i havent had any of today)