(no subject)
I am surrounded by people and lonely as hell. This sucks.
I am so glad today is Friday. I have no idea why - all I’m doing this weekend is work, work, laundry, and more work - but I’m glad it’s the weekend nonetheless. I so want out of this place.
SF boss asked me last night if I’m a flight risk. Well I don’t know, boss… we’re talking on the phone at 9 pm my time about how local boss thinks you’re being overly demanding by asking to get what you’re paying for and you’re telling me that you don’t understand why I get treated worse than any other manager my level, but you want to know if I’m a flight risk? Use your own judgment on that one.
I stand by what I told him last night: If they tell me Stabby Stabby! is my long-term support solution, I’ll give my notice that day. Mortgage be damned, I won’t even think twice.
One of my peers on this team came over a few minutes ago and asked what kind of cake I want for my birthday. I asked if we can just skip it this year. I really don’t like doing birthday things at work, and this year I just want it over. She didn’t like that answer - the cake is for everybody, you know - but she seemed to accept it.
Last year - my first year working on this team - she asked what kind of cake I want, and refused to accept “none, thank you” for an answer, so I suggested a cherry cheesecake. Something a little different from the standard crappy pre-made grocery store bakery cakes they get for everybody. Fine. No problem.
Except she got a frozen cheesecake and forgot to thaw it out until shortly before the “party.” And as it turns out, nobody else on our team likes cheesecake, so she got a package of cupcakes for everyone else to have. Boy, didn’t that feel special. That was almost as special as back when I was working at the architecture & engineering firm and the boss there brought in a low-fat cinnamon crumb cake for my birthday.
Why was that particularly special? I was the only employee on the floor who was overweight. Boss and half my coworkers there were on Weight Watchers, and had pointedly indicated I should be as well. Hence, she bought low-fat cake. Further, I HATE cinnamon as a primary flavor in things like cake that I think should be sweet. Clearly, this was not about me.
What was worse? When she brought in the same exact kind of cake again for my birthday the next year… “because everybody loved it so much last year!” Grrr… At least I transferred departments after that, into a group where nobody seemed to notice that my birthday never came around.
I want this year to be over. Even beyond my birthday, I’m not looking forward to Thanksgiving or Christmas or any of that “fun” stuff… Hell, I’m not even looking forward to tax season. That right there should tell you there’s something significantly wrong with me. Can we just jump to next April 20, please? Pretty please? I’ll let you have my cake…