(no subject)
I guess since this is a journal, this is where I write down my feelings and thoughts right?
I share everything with people I have never met before, but sometimes I find that the easiest.
Where these people dont know me personally and cant see what I go through and what I put myself through
They see the better side, The cheerful, or so it seems, side of me when I write empty words in this journal.
I didnt think my life was fucked up at all-but once I overheard my stepfather say words about me to my mother everything came crashing down.
I hear people talk about how their heart was ripped out then stepped on, I never knew the meaning of that untill tonight, though more like steped on and thrown into a box and locked up for life is more like it.
Although saying he loves me doesnt cover up the fact of what he said, I know my real father abandoned me-he doesnt have to remind me-but for him to think that he has been there for me?
Being a father is more then just supporting a family from money-even though were poor-I would rather live in a cardboard box and have a love of a real father then to live in this house and be ignored by one, making me feel even worthless then I am.
I just dont understand anything-Im nearly on my own in this world and I still have yet to find a place in it, maybe I never will. But I had the comfort of knowing I have a loving family behind me-But how wrong I am
My mother,the strongest woman in the world I once though, is his puppet, doing everything he says, thinking the way he wants her to think, turning on her own children because of him.
She wonders why my brothers and I are so fucked up, and distant, well the wondering is over
Wake up mother-You and your fuckin husband turned us into these people, now live with your "mistakes".
I share everything with people I have never met before, but sometimes I find that the easiest.
Where these people dont know me personally and cant see what I go through and what I put myself through
They see the better side, The cheerful, or so it seems, side of me when I write empty words in this journal.
I didnt think my life was fucked up at all-but once I overheard my stepfather say words about me to my mother everything came crashing down.
I hear people talk about how their heart was ripped out then stepped on, I never knew the meaning of that untill tonight, though more like steped on and thrown into a box and locked up for life is more like it.
Although saying he loves me doesnt cover up the fact of what he said, I know my real father abandoned me-he doesnt have to remind me-but for him to think that he has been there for me?
Being a father is more then just supporting a family from money-even though were poor-I would rather live in a cardboard box and have a love of a real father then to live in this house and be ignored by one, making me feel even worthless then I am.
I just dont understand anything-Im nearly on my own in this world and I still have yet to find a place in it, maybe I never will. But I had the comfort of knowing I have a loving family behind me-But how wrong I am
My mother,the strongest woman in the world I once though, is his puppet, doing everything he says, thinking the way he wants her to think, turning on her own children because of him.
She wonders why my brothers and I are so fucked up, and distant, well the wondering is over
Wake up mother-You and your fuckin husband turned us into these people, now live with your "mistakes".