T for 2...tap...tap...tap...
I woke up, and i guess i'm up for the rest of my day. I dislike this sleeping pattern I have but i really can't help it, and my mom doesn't mind it anymore cuz she knows i do get stuff done other then sleep. hah. So i tried very hard to fall back asleep but when your flooded with thoughts it's hard to.
I don't like noll at all and find myself wanting to get out of there so badly it's insane. I enjoyed it there somewhat before and now i just can't stand it, and i think it will disappoint my mom telling her how badly i want to leave that school so i'll just end up staying at that shit hole. A lot of people there and i assume in general are so stereotypical, nothing happened to me to make me feel this way but i was just thinking about our students. I'm glad i have those that I'm close to and my fantastic boyfriend because i k n o w i would go mad if i didn't have any of them. At times i miss my closeness with some of my friends, that yes i am still pretty close to but not as before. My lovelys that have their boyfriends and are usually with them a whole lot (at times im guilty of the same) and thats all wonderful and everything but sometimes i miss the constant nonsense we would talk about, and how incrediably close we said we'd always be. I guess we all drifted somewhat but that closeness is always there, and they're the people that know all your secrets and you know they'll never get out. It's no ones fault it's just life, and one day are massive slumber party will come true and we can reminisce. yay
It's time now that i cut my dad some slack becuz i know i've been difficult with him and have said unpleasent things about him and to him. There's always that time you don't like one parent or the other. I guess im just missing the times when it was just me, my sister, and my dad and how every sunday we would go off to downtown for brunch and then go to toy stores and just have the time of our lives. The times our entire living room was a club house, and when we would watch all the disney movies together and just have a good time. I miss when we went to go see plays all the time and stood at a hotel near christmas time. I miss the last time we all laughed together. I guess, i just take it out on my dad but it doesn't come out like that, hahah not at all. It's like now that he has his girlfirend and shes pregnet and we have another half-sister (hahah yes i know...) it's as though i dont have a dad anymore, I just have another place to stay over the weekend. He's changed a lot and he probably thinks i have too or that im just going through that teenage stage which in a way i suppose i am but there is a lot more to it. I want to tell him this but if i try i'm lost in words and he sinks me in his. I can only talk about how i feel to my mom cause we have a better relationship and i don't think the three (me her and sister) of us ever lost our closeness. This is all so sappy. hahaha sappy sounds funny. I think i just brought comfort to myself by writing out how i felt, writing is my drug.
<33 always,
Connie
I don't like noll at all and find myself wanting to get out of there so badly it's insane. I enjoyed it there somewhat before and now i just can't stand it, and i think it will disappoint my mom telling her how badly i want to leave that school so i'll just end up staying at that shit hole. A lot of people there and i assume in general are so stereotypical, nothing happened to me to make me feel this way but i was just thinking about our students. I'm glad i have those that I'm close to and my fantastic boyfriend because i k n o w i would go mad if i didn't have any of them. At times i miss my closeness with some of my friends, that yes i am still pretty close to but not as before. My lovelys that have their boyfriends and are usually with them a whole lot (at times im guilty of the same) and thats all wonderful and everything but sometimes i miss the constant nonsense we would talk about, and how incrediably close we said we'd always be. I guess we all drifted somewhat but that closeness is always there, and they're the people that know all your secrets and you know they'll never get out. It's no ones fault it's just life, and one day are massive slumber party will come true and we can reminisce. yay
It's time now that i cut my dad some slack becuz i know i've been difficult with him and have said unpleasent things about him and to him. There's always that time you don't like one parent or the other. I guess im just missing the times when it was just me, my sister, and my dad and how every sunday we would go off to downtown for brunch and then go to toy stores and just have the time of our lives. The times our entire living room was a club house, and when we would watch all the disney movies together and just have a good time. I miss when we went to go see plays all the time and stood at a hotel near christmas time. I miss the last time we all laughed together. I guess, i just take it out on my dad but it doesn't come out like that, hahah not at all. It's like now that he has his girlfirend and shes pregnet and we have another half-sister (hahah yes i know...) it's as though i dont have a dad anymore, I just have another place to stay over the weekend. He's changed a lot and he probably thinks i have too or that im just going through that teenage stage which in a way i suppose i am but there is a lot more to it. I want to tell him this but if i try i'm lost in words and he sinks me in his. I can only talk about how i feel to my mom cause we have a better relationship and i don't think the three (me her and sister) of us ever lost our closeness. This is all so sappy. hahaha sappy sounds funny. I think i just brought comfort to myself by writing out how i felt, writing is my drug.
<33 always,
Connie