Happy Halloween!! I has a ghost self in my icon!
In honor of Halloween, a funny Muppets video that I absolutely love, and that is actually a bit odd. Also because posting Michael Jackson's thriller is lame. And posting the Backstreet Boys everybody is equally lame.
I'm posting this short and disturbing section of my original sci-fi here, as a kind of self-motivational springboard. By the way, what do you think of SHC, Spontaneous Human Combustion? Wiki it if you don't know what it supposedly is. Personally, I think it's 75% BS and 12.5% explainable scientific and natural occurrence, and 11% pure and total phenomenon. Heh. If you can't figure out the percentages, it's because nothing science ever does is 100% foolproof, therefore I have it as 98.5% total possibilities. Double heh. No, this little piece has nothing to do with SHC.
Surgeon General's Warning: Long text blocks may cause headaches from repeated head-desk maneuvers, or dizziness or ocular twitches from rapid eye movements.
FNeko: Stow it! i like my long text blocks, and my abuse of the semicolon! It's supposed to be a stream of consciousness, okay?! ...Look, just read the dang thing. It's worth it, for the mind-roll.
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Elsewhere, somewhere in the almost dormitories of a private prep school, a girl was just buckling down for the day. It wasn’t anything to do with packing a school bag and lightly slapping her face with a damp rag to wipe off the sleep of the night, to focus on the tests of today in the classroom and everywhere else. It was everything to do with closing down her mind, shutting off her thoughts, and closing the door she wanted so desperately to keep open all the time, even though her Judeo-Christian heritage had long been screaming to shut it up, to make it go away, get purified for Chris’sake, anything to not flirt with that open portal. She’d ignored it always, not the deepest in faith, feeling religion was how you felt and that your morals were purely yourself, nothing more and nothing less even though she knew there was a God, knew it better than most that the angels existed and the demons did too. The door had led to that, opened it up, and she would never close it again freely, she couldn’t because she was a coward and afraid of pain and punishment. No, that wasn’t why, she couldn’t because she was too curious, was Eve and the damnation of herself and everything and it was Pandora’s box; But that wasn’t it either was it, no, no it was simply that she wanted the door open, wanted what - who - she had found on the other side. They said pride cometh before the fall, but they never mentioned that companionship shot you in the foot.
The girl, whose hair had been cut in layers close to her head, making a petite frame even more petite, blending her effortlessly with everyone else, melting her into the backdrop screen, closed the door again this morning, but left it at a crack, whispering good morning and goodbye to who was on the other side. The was a ripple of reply, a wave that washed over her head like a sick chemical headache, one that she was enjoying as an overdose of drugs might please a drug addict, prescription or not, it was something only a user would understand. It was something only she understood, only she felt, saw, smelt, tasted, heard, sending a shiver through her human body, the fear of the unknown now a known fear that had become a sweet obsession to conquer, mutating into joy at having such a permanent companion. It was a chill like lust, a chill like the urge to vomit, to rip out your organs and gleefully stomp on the remains as your weak flesh rotted away to nothingness, joining dust as you joined Hell. Hell, she knew it intimately, knew its occupant who also occupied her, wanted to never escape from that knowledge, because it meant she had no fear and she hated more than anything to be afraid vulnerable and weak. Animals and humans felt that, not they, not her constant second soul and her own.
She’d closed the door to her tuition paid room too, locking it and pocketing the lanyard hung key-ring that she never parted with, though it had been funny the one time someone tried to take it from her. No one touched her, no one but him, the one who couldn’t help but touch her, who shared her intimate space and intimate knowledge of the flesh they were both in, trapped under, even if it wasn’t all that limiting as he’d initially thought, the human body was certainly a moldable thing, an acceptable substitute for his own kind’s flesh. Frankly, he hated flesh in general, loved being able to move freely in any dimension and space, to have for himself what so many others fought so hard to attain. It was natural for him, and a dream for her, a dream that he sent her often, because he was privy to her as much as she was privy to him and this symbiosis had long ago become more than mutual, and it had never been parasitism, even when she did go a little off kilter. She’d been that way without him, and honestly had told him a number of times that it was him that kept her from going off the deep end, though he knew that there was no such point, had tried to explain that to her, that it was all only this action or that action, nothing more and nothing less. It never seemed to get into her, even if he knew it did it just wasn’t something her own mind could comprehend, and he knew it was because she was too mule-headed to admit that he was right and that even if she did show herself to be ‘insane’ as humans reckoned it, nothing would happen. No one could touch him, not physically and not in any other way either, because it was impossible unless you were his kind and those would never bother to try with him, it was a mute point, with who he was and who they were and they never went for petty fights like that anyway. And if no one could touch him, then he would let no one touch her, because they were one being, one unit, one flesh and two minds and souls twisted together in an untyable knot.
She asked him to quiet down a bit, stirring in her seat infinitesmally, and in return he asked that she let him listen to today’s lectures, as part of their mutual life together. She acquiesced, sliding the crack open further and letting him borrow one of her ears, while she used the other to listen herself and jot down notes with a frantic left hand. If she grew tired, he offered to jot down the rest of the lecture in his own shorthand, twitching her right thumb to indicate how honest he was being with the offer. Last night had been rough, because the flesh fettering them was only human, and she could only take so much mentally at the same time, still not able to hold up well under his own mental pressure as it had driven their shared domicile to distraction. Her sadness and disappointment swelled into his mind, something he gobbled up but did not associate with anything positive, for she had explained to him that her emotions were what they were, and he had come to understand not to abuse them. It was not beneficial to their shared life if he did that, if she let it happen.
Yes, last night had been rough, but it had not been unusual. The girl had a single room around the corridor from everyone else for a reason, and though most thought it was just a simple desire for privacy, it was certainly more of an intentional seclusion. If nobody could be around to bother them, then they could use the flesh that bound them however they wanted. Anything at all and they frequently did all of it. They had learned to use their shared flesh to each of their advantages, to maximize its potential in everything that they needed it to do. He had taught her early on how to override her body’s weakness with her mind’s strength, because mind over matter was more than just a petty optimist’s mantra, it was the name of his kind’s entire existence. She had taught him how to move the body seamlessly in any environ, with grace and lithe poise not unlike that of a cat, loose but ready to spring, a finely honed and ever-ready tool. It had amazed him, because he had never found flesh to be even half that capable before, knowing all flesh-bound beings were beneath his metaphysical abilities. And while it was still inferior to his natural fluidity and finesse of unlimited motion, what she had shown him how to do was a good substitute for being bound so heavily. But it was more than that, so much more, yes it was.
She wasn’t sure if it was him or her who had taken it, but she was never any “nekkid virgen sacrafise”, because she had let him take her or maybe she had given herself to him, it was unimportant now. Stripping, yes she had done that, peeling off layer after layer, until the left to peel off was her skin; And as tasty as some of his kind found that, it wasn’t a quirk of her particular soul-sharer. Looking, yes, he had done that, eyes roving even though they were unseen, they were felt doing it, peeling away everything so that it even felt like he was past her skin and into her very bones, which she knew he was, and it thrilled them both to be so united. Flesh and bones and other physical constraints meant nothing to his kind, to those who had given it up for else. To them, one flesh, it meant even less.
Either way, it meant little, her routine at night, taking everything off and putting on sleep clothes was a meaningless act, nothing more and nothing less. She’d peel those away too, do it soon, under the clutching and covering quilt and sheet. And he knew her intimately as she knew herself, having shared a space for a time that neither of them could keep track of any longer, had lost track of from the start. This unending, uncounted time of sharing spaces was unrivaled, they were tighter than an old married couple and had never even vowed to become one. If one of them moved, the other moved too, at the same instant, in the same space. This was not lovebirds holding hands gently or even tugging jerkily down a street, shyly pulling back a sheet. This was more, this was deeper, rawer; this was a being and its shadow, but neither knew which was which, and this was irreversible bondage even before they’d taken it together.
Class was barely begun and already she was tired of it, tired like she always was, of the ceaseless white noise of the world. She tuned out the girls in front of her, not caring who got drunk at the local college, or who had been screwed by whom. She didn’t even care if the one girl thought her friend was pregnant. Bitterly, she thought it served them right if they were dumb enough to get fucked, as the phrase went. A cool chuckle passed through her mind from the ajar portal, a fall breeze in a graveyard at dawn.
‘But it’s amusing isn’t it? How petty these people are, to say one thing and think another…You would agree more if I could lend you the thoughts I hear from them.’
‘I guess so. It’s mostly annoying though. Why should I care about anything here…it’s always been just noise and confusion to me, even before you.’
‘If you don’t care for your own reality, then you are not alive. Even we know that, acknowledge it. To be alive, you must live in something. Is a fish a fish if it is not in the sea?’
‘Yes. It’s still fish on my plate at Melinda’s Dock Diner.’
‘Is it? I rather had the impression it was meat then. Food. I am hungry. You do not have a class after this next hour.’
‘I can’t though. I’m tired.’ She knew he understood, knew he would be okay with it, but it didn’t leave her feeling any better about denying him. What hurt one, hurt the other. That was something they both knew, because the street they lived on didn’t just go both ways when pleasure was involved, it went both ways, every day of every year that they lived. Would she live as him when her life here ended? It was their souls that were wound up and tangled into one web, not their flesh. Flesh was inconsequential.
&
Click to viewI'm posting this short and disturbing section of my original sci-fi here, as a kind of self-motivational springboard. By the way, what do you think of SHC, Spontaneous Human Combustion? Wiki it if you don't know what it supposedly is. Personally, I think it's 75% BS and 12.5% explainable scientific and natural occurrence, and 11% pure and total phenomenon. Heh. If you can't figure out the percentages, it's because nothing science ever does is 100% foolproof, therefore I have it as 98.5% total possibilities. Double heh. No, this little piece has nothing to do with SHC.
Surgeon General's Warning: Long text blocks may cause headaches from repeated head-desk maneuvers, or dizziness or ocular twitches from rapid eye movements.
FNeko: Stow it! i like my long text blocks, and my abuse of the semicolon! It's supposed to be a stream of consciousness, okay?! ...Look, just read the dang thing. It's worth it, for the mind-roll.
&
Elsewhere, somewhere in the almost dormitories of a private prep school, a girl was just buckling down for the day. It wasn’t anything to do with packing a school bag and lightly slapping her face with a damp rag to wipe off the sleep of the night, to focus on the tests of today in the classroom and everywhere else. It was everything to do with closing down her mind, shutting off her thoughts, and closing the door she wanted so desperately to keep open all the time, even though her Judeo-Christian heritage had long been screaming to shut it up, to make it go away, get purified for Chris’sake, anything to not flirt with that open portal. She’d ignored it always, not the deepest in faith, feeling religion was how you felt and that your morals were purely yourself, nothing more and nothing less even though she knew there was a God, knew it better than most that the angels existed and the demons did too. The door had led to that, opened it up, and she would never close it again freely, she couldn’t because she was a coward and afraid of pain and punishment. No, that wasn’t why, she couldn’t because she was too curious, was Eve and the damnation of herself and everything and it was Pandora’s box; But that wasn’t it either was it, no, no it was simply that she wanted the door open, wanted what - who - she had found on the other side. They said pride cometh before the fall, but they never mentioned that companionship shot you in the foot.
The girl, whose hair had been cut in layers close to her head, making a petite frame even more petite, blending her effortlessly with everyone else, melting her into the backdrop screen, closed the door again this morning, but left it at a crack, whispering good morning and goodbye to who was on the other side. The was a ripple of reply, a wave that washed over her head like a sick chemical headache, one that she was enjoying as an overdose of drugs might please a drug addict, prescription or not, it was something only a user would understand. It was something only she understood, only she felt, saw, smelt, tasted, heard, sending a shiver through her human body, the fear of the unknown now a known fear that had become a sweet obsession to conquer, mutating into joy at having such a permanent companion. It was a chill like lust, a chill like the urge to vomit, to rip out your organs and gleefully stomp on the remains as your weak flesh rotted away to nothingness, joining dust as you joined Hell. Hell, she knew it intimately, knew its occupant who also occupied her, wanted to never escape from that knowledge, because it meant she had no fear and she hated more than anything to be afraid vulnerable and weak. Animals and humans felt that, not they, not her constant second soul and her own.
She’d closed the door to her tuition paid room too, locking it and pocketing the lanyard hung key-ring that she never parted with, though it had been funny the one time someone tried to take it from her. No one touched her, no one but him, the one who couldn’t help but touch her, who shared her intimate space and intimate knowledge of the flesh they were both in, trapped under, even if it wasn’t all that limiting as he’d initially thought, the human body was certainly a moldable thing, an acceptable substitute for his own kind’s flesh. Frankly, he hated flesh in general, loved being able to move freely in any dimension and space, to have for himself what so many others fought so hard to attain. It was natural for him, and a dream for her, a dream that he sent her often, because he was privy to her as much as she was privy to him and this symbiosis had long ago become more than mutual, and it had never been parasitism, even when she did go a little off kilter. She’d been that way without him, and honestly had told him a number of times that it was him that kept her from going off the deep end, though he knew that there was no such point, had tried to explain that to her, that it was all only this action or that action, nothing more and nothing less. It never seemed to get into her, even if he knew it did it just wasn’t something her own mind could comprehend, and he knew it was because she was too mule-headed to admit that he was right and that even if she did show herself to be ‘insane’ as humans reckoned it, nothing would happen. No one could touch him, not physically and not in any other way either, because it was impossible unless you were his kind and those would never bother to try with him, it was a mute point, with who he was and who they were and they never went for petty fights like that anyway. And if no one could touch him, then he would let no one touch her, because they were one being, one unit, one flesh and two minds and souls twisted together in an untyable knot.
She asked him to quiet down a bit, stirring in her seat infinitesmally, and in return he asked that she let him listen to today’s lectures, as part of their mutual life together. She acquiesced, sliding the crack open further and letting him borrow one of her ears, while she used the other to listen herself and jot down notes with a frantic left hand. If she grew tired, he offered to jot down the rest of the lecture in his own shorthand, twitching her right thumb to indicate how honest he was being with the offer. Last night had been rough, because the flesh fettering them was only human, and she could only take so much mentally at the same time, still not able to hold up well under his own mental pressure as it had driven their shared domicile to distraction. Her sadness and disappointment swelled into his mind, something he gobbled up but did not associate with anything positive, for she had explained to him that her emotions were what they were, and he had come to understand not to abuse them. It was not beneficial to their shared life if he did that, if she let it happen.
Yes, last night had been rough, but it had not been unusual. The girl had a single room around the corridor from everyone else for a reason, and though most thought it was just a simple desire for privacy, it was certainly more of an intentional seclusion. If nobody could be around to bother them, then they could use the flesh that bound them however they wanted. Anything at all and they frequently did all of it. They had learned to use their shared flesh to each of their advantages, to maximize its potential in everything that they needed it to do. He had taught her early on how to override her body’s weakness with her mind’s strength, because mind over matter was more than just a petty optimist’s mantra, it was the name of his kind’s entire existence. She had taught him how to move the body seamlessly in any environ, with grace and lithe poise not unlike that of a cat, loose but ready to spring, a finely honed and ever-ready tool. It had amazed him, because he had never found flesh to be even half that capable before, knowing all flesh-bound beings were beneath his metaphysical abilities. And while it was still inferior to his natural fluidity and finesse of unlimited motion, what she had shown him how to do was a good substitute for being bound so heavily. But it was more than that, so much more, yes it was.
She wasn’t sure if it was him or her who had taken it, but she was never any “nekkid virgen sacrafise”, because she had let him take her or maybe she had given herself to him, it was unimportant now. Stripping, yes she had done that, peeling off layer after layer, until the left to peel off was her skin; And as tasty as some of his kind found that, it wasn’t a quirk of her particular soul-sharer. Looking, yes, he had done that, eyes roving even though they were unseen, they were felt doing it, peeling away everything so that it even felt like he was past her skin and into her very bones, which she knew he was, and it thrilled them both to be so united. Flesh and bones and other physical constraints meant nothing to his kind, to those who had given it up for else. To them, one flesh, it meant even less.
Either way, it meant little, her routine at night, taking everything off and putting on sleep clothes was a meaningless act, nothing more and nothing less. She’d peel those away too, do it soon, under the clutching and covering quilt and sheet. And he knew her intimately as she knew herself, having shared a space for a time that neither of them could keep track of any longer, had lost track of from the start. This unending, uncounted time of sharing spaces was unrivaled, they were tighter than an old married couple and had never even vowed to become one. If one of them moved, the other moved too, at the same instant, in the same space. This was not lovebirds holding hands gently or even tugging jerkily down a street, shyly pulling back a sheet. This was more, this was deeper, rawer; this was a being and its shadow, but neither knew which was which, and this was irreversible bondage even before they’d taken it together.
Class was barely begun and already she was tired of it, tired like she always was, of the ceaseless white noise of the world. She tuned out the girls in front of her, not caring who got drunk at the local college, or who had been screwed by whom. She didn’t even care if the one girl thought her friend was pregnant. Bitterly, she thought it served them right if they were dumb enough to get fucked, as the phrase went. A cool chuckle passed through her mind from the ajar portal, a fall breeze in a graveyard at dawn.
‘But it’s amusing isn’t it? How petty these people are, to say one thing and think another…You would agree more if I could lend you the thoughts I hear from them.’
‘I guess so. It’s mostly annoying though. Why should I care about anything here…it’s always been just noise and confusion to me, even before you.’
‘If you don’t care for your own reality, then you are not alive. Even we know that, acknowledge it. To be alive, you must live in something. Is a fish a fish if it is not in the sea?’
‘Yes. It’s still fish on my plate at Melinda’s Dock Diner.’
‘Is it? I rather had the impression it was meat then. Food. I am hungry. You do not have a class after this next hour.’
‘I can’t though. I’m tired.’ She knew he understood, knew he would be okay with it, but it didn’t leave her feeling any better about denying him. What hurt one, hurt the other. That was something they both knew, because the street they lived on didn’t just go both ways when pleasure was involved, it went both ways, every day of every year that they lived. Would she live as him when her life here ended? It was their souls that were wound up and tangled into one web, not their flesh. Flesh was inconsequential.
&