(no subject)

[fuxd]

Over a year later and I'm still in an extraordinary amount of physical pain, in fact much more than during my initial recovery. I've learned a lot about ligaments and neuromuscular integrity through this whole process, and I take some comfort in understanding where my body is in its recovery -- what's been gained, and what's still left to gain. Several muscles in my left leg are still paralyzed, from the trauma of the injury or of the surgery, but they've begun to wake up one by one over the past few months. My limp goes in and out. A year ago I was limping because of a severely limited range of motion; now I limp because of the pain and muscle weakness and instability. Whenever I sit or stand I have to will myself through paralyzing stiffness and debilitating pain -- the kind of pain that blinds your field of vision with colors and shapes. Ligaments catch on one another and snap past and it all hurts like a horrible bitch. When I walk too much, I'm treated to a migraine, but I mostly attribute those to the concussion. Tight pants don't help any of this. I'm seeing a few specialists about weekly, and they each have my complete confidence, though none of them has seen injuries like mine in someone my age.

In other news, I've hated all of the other Anderson films I've seen, but I loved "There Will Be Blood."

To finish this heavily disjointed update, I'm in the city for another week before (finally) returning to Reed. These days, if you can't find me, I'm probably at Cafe Reggio.