Fitter, Better, More Productive...
So me and Boris are taking another break..
Im not going to rant on here of superficial dislikes or disagreements of Borys, or my main opinionated heart-gushes. I've learned and realized we are at a brink on our relationship. How is someone so adapted to the rhythm of short-termed relations suppost to clearly know how to handle a relationship that has reached its year mark? We had a discussion. I didn't see it then, but when I've let the emotional curtain unveil I saw a sight of fear. I noticed he brought up some superfical things, almost like he's trying to find an excuse to let me go. I know when you're with someone for a good while, see them everyday, wake up with them everyday, and become adjusted to their rhythm. You can find little nuances that can get annoying. Maybe he just isn't used to that. He tells me he doesn't want to be serious, then brings some other reason on to why he doesn't want to let us go. I feel his uncertainty, about what? its not clear to me, but I must respect it, and in no way do I want to push him into anything. Yes, this whole thing puts me in an awkward position. Its not an easy move for anyone to have to conjure up such a deep answer within 30 minutes of words, especially if it is something completely new. It requires thought, emotions, and time. The time is the trigger for us. I want us to survive so I must leave out that silly Gina that thinks then listens to instincts and acts upon instinct. Its time to prove to him and to myself. I can truly let go.
Deep in me a hope does linger, a hope for him, his thoughts, and the angle he is seeing me in. I hope he can see the worth in us. The way we are together, when we joke and when we listen. The silly shit and the good shit and ,Of course, the other superfical pieces necessary for life that we help balance each other on. I see it everytime, in little things like the awkward feeling of not holding each other's hand, and just gently slipping our hands together because it feels so natural, to the way we plan of things we want to do and we go for it. Regardless if its three hours away or if our cars suck.. Just going for it. Again I hope. Hope all goes well and it's not a regret years from now.
In my angle of us, I feel he's been the best complement to me. The best guy I've gone out with. Period.
So, right now we've agreed on taking a week off.. seeing how it goes. I've learned how the damage of doing too much can bring now. In the meantime, I won't worry. Im going to be constructive with my time and Im also going to be selfish. He's going to have to approach me next, and I have one hell of a schedule to keep up with.
Speaking of my schedule, I've been doing really well. I've bought a notebook with three tabs. Im making a log of everything I eat, all the exercise I do, and all the additional things I do. Its been helping me on keeping track of what my goals are. Right on the tab I wrote my goals there too, so I am faced to see them everytime I write something in it. Its been awesome, soon I'll be in a much better shape and not indulge in bullshit food everyday (at least not the weekdays).
My piercing is going good for now. It did get a little pus on it, I think I was cleaning it way too much. So I've stopped that. Its a lot better now. =) Once I get my camera back, I'll get a picture. I'll also post up the nice ring I got. The ring that I got in Amsterdam that inspired me to get it done (its nothing too extravagant but I would have not gone through with it if I didn't like any of the rings just cuz Im one picky biatch)..
I start my classes soon! Im going to be taking Intro to Writing every Monday and Wednesday and I also signed up for a Weekend class. You finish class in four weekends, The times though take a lot out of the weekend. 0900-1730. The class Im taking though is Music History. I think its going to be a lot of fun. We have to go to concerts and give our opinions of the sound and of the influences and such. Not a bad start for my 6 credits. Im excited, I've missed a good classroom setting. =)
So, Im up for any advice. Im up for anything really. Going home made me feel much more balanced than I was before. Clear-headed and attentive. Not too serious and not too goofy to where its annoying. Its awesome. =) I really do miss all of you, even those I didn't really have a good chance on meeting more in depth. You all rock and I love ya! =)
Im not going to rant on here of superficial dislikes or disagreements of Borys, or my main opinionated heart-gushes. I've learned and realized we are at a brink on our relationship. How is someone so adapted to the rhythm of short-termed relations suppost to clearly know how to handle a relationship that has reached its year mark? We had a discussion. I didn't see it then, but when I've let the emotional curtain unveil I saw a sight of fear. I noticed he brought up some superfical things, almost like he's trying to find an excuse to let me go. I know when you're with someone for a good while, see them everyday, wake up with them everyday, and become adjusted to their rhythm. You can find little nuances that can get annoying. Maybe he just isn't used to that. He tells me he doesn't want to be serious, then brings some other reason on to why he doesn't want to let us go. I feel his uncertainty, about what? its not clear to me, but I must respect it, and in no way do I want to push him into anything. Yes, this whole thing puts me in an awkward position. Its not an easy move for anyone to have to conjure up such a deep answer within 30 minutes of words, especially if it is something completely new. It requires thought, emotions, and time. The time is the trigger for us. I want us to survive so I must leave out that silly Gina that thinks then listens to instincts and acts upon instinct. Its time to prove to him and to myself. I can truly let go.
Deep in me a hope does linger, a hope for him, his thoughts, and the angle he is seeing me in. I hope he can see the worth in us. The way we are together, when we joke and when we listen. The silly shit and the good shit and ,Of course, the other superfical pieces necessary for life that we help balance each other on. I see it everytime, in little things like the awkward feeling of not holding each other's hand, and just gently slipping our hands together because it feels so natural, to the way we plan of things we want to do and we go for it. Regardless if its three hours away or if our cars suck.. Just going for it. Again I hope. Hope all goes well and it's not a regret years from now.
In my angle of us, I feel he's been the best complement to me. The best guy I've gone out with. Period.
So, right now we've agreed on taking a week off.. seeing how it goes. I've learned how the damage of doing too much can bring now. In the meantime, I won't worry. Im going to be constructive with my time and Im also going to be selfish. He's going to have to approach me next, and I have one hell of a schedule to keep up with.
Speaking of my schedule, I've been doing really well. I've bought a notebook with three tabs. Im making a log of everything I eat, all the exercise I do, and all the additional things I do. Its been helping me on keeping track of what my goals are. Right on the tab I wrote my goals there too, so I am faced to see them everytime I write something in it. Its been awesome, soon I'll be in a much better shape and not indulge in bullshit food everyday (at least not the weekdays).
My piercing is going good for now. It did get a little pus on it, I think I was cleaning it way too much. So I've stopped that. Its a lot better now. =) Once I get my camera back, I'll get a picture. I'll also post up the nice ring I got. The ring that I got in Amsterdam that inspired me to get it done (its nothing too extravagant but I would have not gone through with it if I didn't like any of the rings just cuz Im one picky biatch)..
I start my classes soon! Im going to be taking Intro to Writing every Monday and Wednesday and I also signed up for a Weekend class. You finish class in four weekends, The times though take a lot out of the weekend. 0900-1730. The class Im taking though is Music History. I think its going to be a lot of fun. We have to go to concerts and give our opinions of the sound and of the influences and such. Not a bad start for my 6 credits. Im excited, I've missed a good classroom setting. =)
So, Im up for any advice. Im up for anything really. Going home made me feel much more balanced than I was before. Clear-headed and attentive. Not too serious and not too goofy to where its annoying. Its awesome. =) I really do miss all of you, even those I didn't really have a good chance on meeting more in depth. You all rock and I love ya! =)