[Lastvoyages - 046] new york's not my home

[future_games]

[Hark! Isaac has returned from his little off-barge adventure hiatus thing. He looks his usual mopey self, but there's a clear added note of disappointment in both his voice and his expression. He consciously switched on the video feed, but he never actually looks at it, musing to himself more than to anyone else.I was gone. For a week--back home.

Comments

Private~

[gray_atonement]

Are you alright?

You feel the same thing I have. Doubt, guilt. Anger.

Private~

[future_games]

I'm fine. I should have realized before.

I feel empty.

Private~

[gray_atonement]

Realized what?

Try harder then.

Private~

[future_games]

That there was nothing left for me at home.

I can't force a feeling, Sylar.

Private~

[gray_atonement]

Then don't go home. Start over.

You can't feel nothing, Isaac.

Private~

[future_games]

It's easier to feel nothing. I'm sure you know that as well as I do.

Private~

[gray_atonement]

I do. You'll never graduate that way.

Re: Private~

[future_games]

Maybe I don't want to graduate. I don't know what I want anymore.

Private~

[gray_atonement]

Of course you want to graduate. You can stay here, go somewhere else. Find a new life. Whatever you want. You don't have to be stuck here, following their rules.

Re: Private~

[future_games]

I'm afraid I'll just become what I was again if I leave. And I'm too much of a mess to take care of myself, let alone another person.

Private~

[gray_atonement]

I'll deny saying this, but.. by the time you graduate, you won't turn back and you'll be able to take care of someone else. This place.. It really does work, Isaac.

Private~

[future_games]

I know it works. I've seen it work. But how can we be so sure anything this place can do goes that deep?

Private~

[gray_atonement]

Because to graduate, you really have to change. I haven't killed anyone for months, and months before that. I still feel the same temptation, the same desire. That will never go away. But now I care more about something else.