The War on War
In the political realm of the justification of war in Iraq, there is no grey region. You either sternly advocate the war or are animately against it. Those opposing the war number in the millions, yet are represented by a rather uninspiring few. Here, with the help of photography, we can fully understand why protesters' opinions are not, nor should ever be valued. Ever. These pictures were taken during a protest in New York City sometime in the past year.
The stomachs of these protesters read "Bellies Not Bombs" while the signs read "Send Food!"
Had you fat, emo sacks of shit not eaten such a large portion of the nation's food, perhaps we could send more food to the starving children of Iraq. Yet the question remains, why exactly are you exposing your blubber? Do they not have enough oil in Iraq? And just for future awareness, next time when your picture is being taken, look at the fucking camera! It just makes the whole process a lot easier. Send food, not soldiers, eh? Well since those poor, helpless, innocent children are in fact starving and you all seem to be anything but starving, I have a plan. Instead of sending soldiers, we will send all of your daily food rations. That way the poor starving children of Iraq will gain some much-needed nutrients while you three attempt to improve not only your body image, but the actual body! It's called weight distribution, they get more, you get less. It equalizes in the end! Americanized harmony. And one more thing, the dark-haired ones look like Munsters. Not good.
"These colors don't run the world." If I am anti-war the last person I want representing my views in a parade is a Puerto Rican. I can tell she is in fact a Puerto Rican simply because there is only one fucking star on the flag. Maybe you can team up with the "bellies not bombs"--bitches and practice that weight distribution thing. Her fellow protester also does a wonderful job of fitting into the mold of a stereotype. The dumb, uninformed blond. Maybe she didn't get the memo when she wrote "We didn't elect you", but in America we have this system called the "electoral college". All together now, ELECTORAL COLLEGE. Now in order to win the Presidency of the United States, one must win the electoral college. In the year 2000, George W. Bush won the electoral college and therefore is the President of the United States. Am i over-simplifying it here?
Second of all, do you really want to know the opinion of someone with pants like that? You can fit half the starving children of Iraq (as well as the previously mentioned fatties) in her pants! She should really shut the fuck up and go to Macy's or something. As for the little girl on the right, though it is admirable how politically enthusiastic you are, maybe you should leave the real decisions to the real people. Real people as in adults. The political opinions of pre-pubescent girls are really not valued by any conventional standard. Either go to school or return to the confines of the pink barbie Jeep parked outside the club house in the backyard. And lastly, you guys see that woman in the front dressed in black? Yes? Do you see what she's doing? She's checking her pulse to make sure she's still alive.
Here we see a bunch of college students protesting the war by...sleeping in the middle of an intersection in Manhattan. Maybe when Mommy and Daddy sent you off to college they failed to mention that cab drivers (read:Arab) have little disregard for the rules of the road, let alone the rules of common sense. So next time ya want to make a point Sleeping Beauty, do it in a secure, familiar site, like the Starbucks around the corner from your apartment in the village which Mommy and Daddy no doubt pay for. There you can drink Lates while engaged in a riviting discussion on how the capitalist pigs (read: their parents) prey upon the poor to further their own economic stronghold of the exploited hard working Americans.
When's the last time you met someone well versed in politics, that ALSO wore red socks and a pink bandanna? Never, it just doesn't happen. Her friend, however appears to be extremely politically savvy. One look at the Elton John-esque shades, the blue polka dot pants and the striped knee socks and you know she'll be debating Ann Coulter on Fox News as to the validity of the war. After all, Bush is a wishful thinker with the worst intentions.
I know it's hard to read but the sign says "Kids for Protest". My gripe is rather simple, if you still require a diaper, your opinion is not relevant. People who cannot control their bowels cannot possibly grasp the complicated issue of war and peace. Period. But Jim, what about old people who shit themselves--with age comes wisdom, right? Wrong! They'll be dead before Operation: Those Fucking Iraqis Just Won't Give Up is over, and therefore have no say in the matter. Let me take this opportunity to say I have no problem with the mother (I presume) protesting the war, but encouraging, possibly forcing, her daughter to hold the sign is just downright stupid. I'll bet $100 that the kid probably thinks Curious George is real. The point being, no one that young can possibly analyze and form an opinion about an issue adults often cannot articulate.
Secondly, the mother should be stoned for dressing her daughter in that hideous pink outfit. There is no such thing as a pink fucking tiger, maybe a panther but not a tiger. Remember, everything you see on TV is true. The bottoms line is that woman should just buy the little kid a pair of jeans and stop using her to further her own loaded opinion.
Assuming you've read this entire entry, you might assume I'm pro-war. Much to the contrary, I'm actually just as annoyed by the war as these very people. However, I'm even more annoyed that these people in the photos are the faces representing the voice of a legitimate movement. After all, it's universally known that the only effective tool in the war against war is writing petty journal entries attacking large groups of people you dislike. When the protesters grasp how to use this tool, then we may finally win the war against war and preserve the red, white and blue pillars of our great democracy (read:Republic).
Thank you.
The stomachs of these protesters read "Bellies Not Bombs" while the signs read "Send Food!"
Had you fat, emo sacks of shit not eaten such a large portion of the nation's food, perhaps we could send more food to the starving children of Iraq. Yet the question remains, why exactly are you exposing your blubber? Do they not have enough oil in Iraq? And just for future awareness, next time when your picture is being taken, look at the fucking camera! It just makes the whole process a lot easier. Send food, not soldiers, eh? Well since those poor, helpless, innocent children are in fact starving and you all seem to be anything but starving, I have a plan. Instead of sending soldiers, we will send all of your daily food rations. That way the poor starving children of Iraq will gain some much-needed nutrients while you three attempt to improve not only your body image, but the actual body! It's called weight distribution, they get more, you get less. It equalizes in the end! Americanized harmony. And one more thing, the dark-haired ones look like Munsters. Not good.
"These colors don't run the world." If I am anti-war the last person I want representing my views in a parade is a Puerto Rican. I can tell she is in fact a Puerto Rican simply because there is only one fucking star on the flag. Maybe you can team up with the "bellies not bombs"--bitches and practice that weight distribution thing. Her fellow protester also does a wonderful job of fitting into the mold of a stereotype. The dumb, uninformed blond. Maybe she didn't get the memo when she wrote "We didn't elect you", but in America we have this system called the "electoral college". All together now, ELECTORAL COLLEGE. Now in order to win the Presidency of the United States, one must win the electoral college. In the year 2000, George W. Bush won the electoral college and therefore is the President of the United States. Am i over-simplifying it here?
Second of all, do you really want to know the opinion of someone with pants like that? You can fit half the starving children of Iraq (as well as the previously mentioned fatties) in her pants! She should really shut the fuck up and go to Macy's or something. As for the little girl on the right, though it is admirable how politically enthusiastic you are, maybe you should leave the real decisions to the real people. Real people as in adults. The political opinions of pre-pubescent girls are really not valued by any conventional standard. Either go to school or return to the confines of the pink barbie Jeep parked outside the club house in the backyard. And lastly, you guys see that woman in the front dressed in black? Yes? Do you see what she's doing? She's checking her pulse to make sure she's still alive.
Here we see a bunch of college students protesting the war by...sleeping in the middle of an intersection in Manhattan. Maybe when Mommy and Daddy sent you off to college they failed to mention that cab drivers (read:Arab) have little disregard for the rules of the road, let alone the rules of common sense. So next time ya want to make a point Sleeping Beauty, do it in a secure, familiar site, like the Starbucks around the corner from your apartment in the village which Mommy and Daddy no doubt pay for. There you can drink Lates while engaged in a riviting discussion on how the capitalist pigs (read: their parents) prey upon the poor to further their own economic stronghold of the exploited hard working Americans.
When's the last time you met someone well versed in politics, that ALSO wore red socks and a pink bandanna? Never, it just doesn't happen. Her friend, however appears to be extremely politically savvy. One look at the Elton John-esque shades, the blue polka dot pants and the striped knee socks and you know she'll be debating Ann Coulter on Fox News as to the validity of the war. After all, Bush is a wishful thinker with the worst intentions.
I know it's hard to read but the sign says "Kids for Protest". My gripe is rather simple, if you still require a diaper, your opinion is not relevant. People who cannot control their bowels cannot possibly grasp the complicated issue of war and peace. Period. But Jim, what about old people who shit themselves--with age comes wisdom, right? Wrong! They'll be dead before Operation: Those Fucking Iraqis Just Won't Give Up is over, and therefore have no say in the matter. Let me take this opportunity to say I have no problem with the mother (I presume) protesting the war, but encouraging, possibly forcing, her daughter to hold the sign is just downright stupid. I'll bet $100 that the kid probably thinks Curious George is real. The point being, no one that young can possibly analyze and form an opinion about an issue adults often cannot articulate.
Secondly, the mother should be stoned for dressing her daughter in that hideous pink outfit. There is no such thing as a pink fucking tiger, maybe a panther but not a tiger. Remember, everything you see on TV is true. The bottoms line is that woman should just buy the little kid a pair of jeans and stop using her to further her own loaded opinion.
Assuming you've read this entire entry, you might assume I'm pro-war. Much to the contrary, I'm actually just as annoyed by the war as these very people. However, I'm even more annoyed that these people in the photos are the faces representing the voice of a legitimate movement. After all, it's universally known that the only effective tool in the war against war is writing petty journal entries attacking large groups of people you dislike. When the protesters grasp how to use this tool, then we may finally win the war against war and preserve the red, white and blue pillars of our great democracy (read:Republic).
Thank you.