might as well.
Goddamn I can't stop smiling.
The breaking point has been reached. Well, that's not true. The breaking point is being approached.
Things are so weird and awkward and amazingly rewarding right now.
I should be more upset about this car drama (apparently...everyone else is) but, it has definitely helped me along to getting just the right amount of alone time everyday.
Walking to and from work (2 hours total a day) has actually become the most therapeutic thing for me. I've met a lot of new people, been encouraged to walk about with random coworkers and enjoy their presence, and had the pleasure of being reunited with having a worldview.
Every so often, I feel like people (or perhaps just myself..can't speak for the rest of you) get into a rhythm of blindness and apathy only self-perpetuated by unrealistic or, more harmful, unfaithful goals.
It just seems that people get so caught up in where they're supposed to be and how they're supposed to get there that, not only do they forget what would actually make them happy, they forget that they don't need as much to really get there.
We don't need everything we use. We don't use everything we take. We abuse the possibility of racing to a light at the end of the tunnel before looking for another switch.
The end is not the answer. And I'm not exactly scared of the end. It's not what's going to lead or control me. It's probably just what I'm going to make for myself, nothing more and nothing less. Honestly, I'd like to at some point forget that it's even there so I can stop letting it crowd me with the justification of creating a life I'd hate to lead.
Been having a lot of unhealthy thoughts lately, too. Guess it comes with getting more time to think. Get the good ones and the bad ones. Went through a week or two there where shit wasn't looking good and I didn't even tell anyone about it. Not a person. I feel like if I started this, I'd need someone I don't have to finish it. Something tells me that David or Lyss or even Zak somehow would understand but, I can't exactly have this chat with any of them at the moment. I don't know if I ever could. These thoughts come to be once in awhile and I always just take 'em and put 'em someplace else. Tis an issue.
Ah well.
Yikes.O.Rama.
Hell yes. Ani in 2 days. Brooklyn in 1.
So exciting.
The breaking point has been reached. Well, that's not true. The breaking point is being approached.
Things are so weird and awkward and amazingly rewarding right now.
I should be more upset about this car drama (apparently...everyone else is) but, it has definitely helped me along to getting just the right amount of alone time everyday.
Walking to and from work (2 hours total a day) has actually become the most therapeutic thing for me. I've met a lot of new people, been encouraged to walk about with random coworkers and enjoy their presence, and had the pleasure of being reunited with having a worldview.
Every so often, I feel like people (or perhaps just myself..can't speak for the rest of you) get into a rhythm of blindness and apathy only self-perpetuated by unrealistic or, more harmful, unfaithful goals.
It just seems that people get so caught up in where they're supposed to be and how they're supposed to get there that, not only do they forget what would actually make them happy, they forget that they don't need as much to really get there.
We don't need everything we use. We don't use everything we take. We abuse the possibility of racing to a light at the end of the tunnel before looking for another switch.
The end is not the answer. And I'm not exactly scared of the end. It's not what's going to lead or control me. It's probably just what I'm going to make for myself, nothing more and nothing less. Honestly, I'd like to at some point forget that it's even there so I can stop letting it crowd me with the justification of creating a life I'd hate to lead.
Been having a lot of unhealthy thoughts lately, too. Guess it comes with getting more time to think. Get the good ones and the bad ones. Went through a week or two there where shit wasn't looking good and I didn't even tell anyone about it. Not a person. I feel like if I started this, I'd need someone I don't have to finish it. Something tells me that David or Lyss or even Zak somehow would understand but, I can't exactly have this chat with any of them at the moment. I don't know if I ever could. These thoughts come to be once in awhile and I always just take 'em and put 'em someplace else. Tis an issue.
Ah well.
Yikes.O.Rama.
Hell yes. Ani in 2 days. Brooklyn in 1.
So exciting.