orz I'm never gonna write fic again.
Anxieties
Author: Marsky/futarikiri
Characters: B. I. Shadow
Rating: G
Words: 1,052
He knew that he had to make a choice. He knew that someday things will change and he will have to come down to a decision.
…he knew that he will have to leave some things behind.
It was announced that his two co-members will debut with Nakayama Yuma and two other juniors; with Misaki not being in the list, maybe a debut isn’t really possible for him now.
Misaki stepped into the supervisor’s room and handed in his resignation form. He decided to leave the agency to focus on school full-time.
“You’re quitting, eh?” Julie, the supervisor asked. She doesn’t look so surprised most likely because she has seen so much of these scenarios.
“Being a junior isn’t so bad; it’s just that there are lucky asses out there that get to shine on top.” She nonchalantly said as she read through his letter. Misaki hated the fact he didn’t get to be that lucky ass Julie described, but it’s a reality he has to face.
“Are you sure about this? There’s no turning back, you know.” Julie looked up to Misaki, who was just staring blankly.
“Y-yes, I am.” He hesitantly replied. Though hesitant, he's made his decision. He courteously bowed down to Julie before he walked out of the room. Other juniors looked at him with curious eyes as Misaki passed by them, but he didn’t mind.
…but he needs to get out of that place before he regrets making that choice.
Misaki rushed into his former group’s dressing room, making sure he wouldn’t be seen by anyone; most especially, Fuma and Kento.
He gathered his things and looked around the room for one last time. The thought of him leaving two important people behind pains him, but nevertheless his decision is final.
“Be strong, Misaki. You have to be.” He murmured to himself. Misaki breathe out a heavy sigh and slowly turned the knob.
Just in time when he opened the door, he found Kento and Fuma waiting outside. Misaki put up a fake smile, slightly nodded his head and hurried out of the room.
He understands it’s cowardly and rude to walk out on them, but staying will just make the feeling even heavier for him to bear.
“…so you really are leaving. And you’ll walk away just like that?” Kento said with angst. Misaki stopped in the middle of his tracks but didn’t face the two.
“What’s with the silly face, Kento? I’m just not feeling well---“
“Liar. You think we won’t find out?” Kento uttered without letting him finish.
“You don’t have to lie about it, we know you’ve resigned. But…why?”
And so the question came. Misaki didn’t know what to answer. But more importantly, he did not know how to console his friends. He’s never seen them that distressed before, and he never wanted to.
Fuma, on the other hand, was still in denial. It all happened too fast he doesn’t know how to react at this. He wants to believe it’s all but a bad joke.
“You’re kidding me, right? Come on, cut it out, it’s not funny anymore.” Fuma pulled the end of Misaki’s sleeve. His grip was tight, seeming like he wouldn’t let go anymore. Misaki finally decided to face the two and held each of their shoulders.
“Don’t worry about me; everything’s going to be fine. You do your best, ne? You’ll be debuting now, shouldn’t you be happy? The spotlight you’ve dreamed of, it’s going to be yours now.”
“I thought it was going to be us…” Fuma’s voice seemed like he’s going to break down any second. His voice stammered, and Misaki couldn’t bear seeing him at that state.
Silence filled that corridor, until only their breathing could be heard.
Misaki dropped both of his hands from their shoulders, looked down and closed his eyes. He tried to stop the tears from coming out.
But the pitter-patter sound of water drops he heard caused him to open his eyes; only to find out they were tears coming out of Kento’s and Fuma’s eyes.
“…I’ll still be here; even if I have to cheer for you behind the shadows. So please…” Tears started to pour from Misaki’s eyes too. His decision wasn’t easy for him to make. And witnessing two of his most important friends cry made it even more difficult.
Misaki dropped down everything he was holding and embraced Kento and Fuma. He didn’t care how short his arms were for the two, but he just cherished this short moment.
At that instant he wished time would stop; because he’s certain that everything will change once he let go.
But alas, Hokuto’s voice broke into the silence that they were keeping, calling Kento and Fuma saying they’re needed to rehearse for the debut performance. Misaki pulled himself back and wiped away his tears, so did Kento and Fuma.
“You’re needed now. Don’t make silly faces back there, okay? Ganbatte.” Misaki put up a convincing smile this time. They all have to move on; especially Kento and Fuma who’ll be entering a more challenging life ahead of them.
“Just before this we used to say ‘Let’s do our best!’ together; just… the three of us.” Fuma looked up; he didn’t want to cry any more.
“You’ll get used to it, trust me.” Misaki patted the youngest boy’s head. “So off you go now! You might get scolded on your first rehearsal.” He gently pushed the two of them forward.
“We’ll still see you again, right?” Kento asked. Misaki just smiled back and waved his hand. Hokuto called out for them again, warning them they have to hurry up.
When Kento and Fuma turned their backs, Misaki just stood there, watching them leave.
‘Don’t look back Misaki, it’ll just make it even more painful.’ He turned the opposite way, to the exit of the Jimusho. Once he steps out of that exit, he’ll have to forget his celebrity life, forget Johnny’s Entertainment. He started walking, out of the building, out of his friends and fans’ lives.
But he will never forget the two people who stood by him the whole time; even if it will make him just a head among the crowd cheering for them in the future.
END.
Author: Marsky/futarikiri
Characters: B. I. Shadow
Rating: G
Words: 1,052
He knew that he had to make a choice. He knew that someday things will change and he will have to come down to a decision.
…he knew that he will have to leave some things behind.
It was announced that his two co-members will debut with Nakayama Yuma and two other juniors; with Misaki not being in the list, maybe a debut isn’t really possible for him now.
Misaki stepped into the supervisor’s room and handed in his resignation form. He decided to leave the agency to focus on school full-time.
“You’re quitting, eh?” Julie, the supervisor asked. She doesn’t look so surprised most likely because she has seen so much of these scenarios.
“Being a junior isn’t so bad; it’s just that there are lucky asses out there that get to shine on top.” She nonchalantly said as she read through his letter. Misaki hated the fact he didn’t get to be that lucky ass Julie described, but it’s a reality he has to face.
“Are you sure about this? There’s no turning back, you know.” Julie looked up to Misaki, who was just staring blankly.
“Y-yes, I am.” He hesitantly replied. Though hesitant, he's made his decision. He courteously bowed down to Julie before he walked out of the room. Other juniors looked at him with curious eyes as Misaki passed by them, but he didn’t mind.
…but he needs to get out of that place before he regrets making that choice.
Misaki rushed into his former group’s dressing room, making sure he wouldn’t be seen by anyone; most especially, Fuma and Kento.
He gathered his things and looked around the room for one last time. The thought of him leaving two important people behind pains him, but nevertheless his decision is final.
“Be strong, Misaki. You have to be.” He murmured to himself. Misaki breathe out a heavy sigh and slowly turned the knob.
Just in time when he opened the door, he found Kento and Fuma waiting outside. Misaki put up a fake smile, slightly nodded his head and hurried out of the room.
He understands it’s cowardly and rude to walk out on them, but staying will just make the feeling even heavier for him to bear.
“…so you really are leaving. And you’ll walk away just like that?” Kento said with angst. Misaki stopped in the middle of his tracks but didn’t face the two.
“What’s with the silly face, Kento? I’m just not feeling well---“
“Liar. You think we won’t find out?” Kento uttered without letting him finish.
“You don’t have to lie about it, we know you’ve resigned. But…why?”
And so the question came. Misaki didn’t know what to answer. But more importantly, he did not know how to console his friends. He’s never seen them that distressed before, and he never wanted to.
Fuma, on the other hand, was still in denial. It all happened too fast he doesn’t know how to react at this. He wants to believe it’s all but a bad joke.
“You’re kidding me, right? Come on, cut it out, it’s not funny anymore.” Fuma pulled the end of Misaki’s sleeve. His grip was tight, seeming like he wouldn’t let go anymore. Misaki finally decided to face the two and held each of their shoulders.
“Don’t worry about me; everything’s going to be fine. You do your best, ne? You’ll be debuting now, shouldn’t you be happy? The spotlight you’ve dreamed of, it’s going to be yours now.”
“I thought it was going to be us…” Fuma’s voice seemed like he’s going to break down any second. His voice stammered, and Misaki couldn’t bear seeing him at that state.
Silence filled that corridor, until only their breathing could be heard.
Misaki dropped both of his hands from their shoulders, looked down and closed his eyes. He tried to stop the tears from coming out.
But the pitter-patter sound of water drops he heard caused him to open his eyes; only to find out they were tears coming out of Kento’s and Fuma’s eyes.
“…I’ll still be here; even if I have to cheer for you behind the shadows. So please…” Tears started to pour from Misaki’s eyes too. His decision wasn’t easy for him to make. And witnessing two of his most important friends cry made it even more difficult.
Misaki dropped down everything he was holding and embraced Kento and Fuma. He didn’t care how short his arms were for the two, but he just cherished this short moment.
At that instant he wished time would stop; because he’s certain that everything will change once he let go.
But alas, Hokuto’s voice broke into the silence that they were keeping, calling Kento and Fuma saying they’re needed to rehearse for the debut performance. Misaki pulled himself back and wiped away his tears, so did Kento and Fuma.
“You’re needed now. Don’t make silly faces back there, okay? Ganbatte.” Misaki put up a convincing smile this time. They all have to move on; especially Kento and Fuma who’ll be entering a more challenging life ahead of them.
“Just before this we used to say ‘Let’s do our best!’ together; just… the three of us.” Fuma looked up; he didn’t want to cry any more.
“You’ll get used to it, trust me.” Misaki patted the youngest boy’s head. “So off you go now! You might get scolded on your first rehearsal.” He gently pushed the two of them forward.
“We’ll still see you again, right?” Kento asked. Misaki just smiled back and waved his hand. Hokuto called out for them again, warning them they have to hurry up.
When Kento and Fuma turned their backs, Misaki just stood there, watching them leave.
‘Don’t look back Misaki, it’ll just make it even more painful.’ He turned the opposite way, to the exit of the Jimusho. Once he steps out of that exit, he’ll have to forget his celebrity life, forget Johnny’s Entertainment. He started walking, out of the building, out of his friends and fans’ lives.
But he will never forget the two people who stood by him the whole time; even if it will make him just a head among the crowd cheering for them in the future.
END.