Kafka on the Shore
Just finished Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami. Like my friend said to me the other day, it's like Catcher in the Rye except in a surrealist dream. A teenage boy figures stuff out as he runs away from home and goes through a bunch of weird shit.
"Anyone who falls in love is searching for the missing pieces of themselves. So anyone who's in love gets sad when they think of their lover. It's like stepping back inside a room you have fond memories of. ..."
I lay my fork down and look up.
"A fond, old, faraway room?"
"Exactly," Oshima says. He holds his fork straight up for emphasis. "Just a metaphor, of course."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"...But things in the past are like a plate that's shattered to pieces. You can never put it back together like it was, right?"
I nod. You can never put it back together like it was. He's hit the nail on the head.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"But I still don't get it. You're telling me my mother loved me very much. I want to believe you, but if that's true, I just don't get it. Why does loving somebody mean you have to hurt them just as much? I mean, if that's the way it goes, what's the point of loving someone? Why the hell does it have to be like that?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hoshino stopped here, thinking how to go on. "But you know what, Gramps?"
"Yes?"
"The most amazing thing of all has been you, Mr. Nakata. You changed my life. These past ten days, I don't know - things look different to me now. Stuff I never would've given a second glance before seems different. Like music, for instance - music I used to think was boring really gets to me now. I feel like I've gotta tell somebody about this or bust, somebody who'll understand what I've gone through. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. And it's all because of you. I've started to see the world through your eyes. Not everything, mind you. I like how you look at life, so that's why it happened. That's why I've stayed with you through thick and thin, why I couldn't leave you. It's been one of the most meaningful times I've ever had in my life. So there's no need for you to be thanking me - not that I mind it. I should be thanking you. All I'm trying to say is you've done me a lot of good, Mr. Nakata. Do you know what I'm saying?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Finally, he went into the room where Nakata lay in bed. The AC was still on full blast, and the room was freezing. "Hey there, Mr. Nakata," he said, "I'm about ready to take off. Sorry, but I can't stay here forever. I'll call the cops from the station so they can come take care of your body. We'll just have to leave the rest up to some kind patrolmen, okay? We'll never see each other again, but I'll never forget you. Even if I tried to, I don't think I could."
With a loud rattle the air conditioner shut off.
"You know what, Gramps?" he went on. "I think that whenever something happens in the future I'll always wonder - What would Mr. Nakata say about this? What would Mr. Nakata do? I'll always have someone I can turn to. And that's kind of a big deal, if you think about it. It's like part of you will always live inside me. Not that I'm the best container you could find, but better than nothing, huh?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Oshima lightly taps the eraser end of a pencil against his temple a couple of times. The phone rings, but he ignores it.
"Every one of us is losing something precious to us," he says after the phone stops ringing. "Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That's part of what it means to be alive. But inside our heads - at least that's where I imagine it - there's a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to dust things off every once in a while, let in fresh air, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you'll live forever in your own private library."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Time weighs down on you like an old, ambiguous dream. You keep on moving, trying to slip through it. But even if you go to the ends of the earth, you won't be able to escape it. Still, you have to go there - to the edge of the world. There's something you can't do unless you get there.
Brb, tears forever. I need to read every book this guy has written.
"Anyone who falls in love is searching for the missing pieces of themselves. So anyone who's in love gets sad when they think of their lover. It's like stepping back inside a room you have fond memories of. ..."
I lay my fork down and look up.
"A fond, old, faraway room?"
"Exactly," Oshima says. He holds his fork straight up for emphasis. "Just a metaphor, of course."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"...But things in the past are like a plate that's shattered to pieces. You can never put it back together like it was, right?"
I nod. You can never put it back together like it was. He's hit the nail on the head.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"But I still don't get it. You're telling me my mother loved me very much. I want to believe you, but if that's true, I just don't get it. Why does loving somebody mean you have to hurt them just as much? I mean, if that's the way it goes, what's the point of loving someone? Why the hell does it have to be like that?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hoshino stopped here, thinking how to go on. "But you know what, Gramps?"
"Yes?"
"The most amazing thing of all has been you, Mr. Nakata. You changed my life. These past ten days, I don't know - things look different to me now. Stuff I never would've given a second glance before seems different. Like music, for instance - music I used to think was boring really gets to me now. I feel like I've gotta tell somebody about this or bust, somebody who'll understand what I've gone through. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. And it's all because of you. I've started to see the world through your eyes. Not everything, mind you. I like how you look at life, so that's why it happened. That's why I've stayed with you through thick and thin, why I couldn't leave you. It's been one of the most meaningful times I've ever had in my life. So there's no need for you to be thanking me - not that I mind it. I should be thanking you. All I'm trying to say is you've done me a lot of good, Mr. Nakata. Do you know what I'm saying?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Finally, he went into the room where Nakata lay in bed. The AC was still on full blast, and the room was freezing. "Hey there, Mr. Nakata," he said, "I'm about ready to take off. Sorry, but I can't stay here forever. I'll call the cops from the station so they can come take care of your body. We'll just have to leave the rest up to some kind patrolmen, okay? We'll never see each other again, but I'll never forget you. Even if I tried to, I don't think I could."
With a loud rattle the air conditioner shut off.
"You know what, Gramps?" he went on. "I think that whenever something happens in the future I'll always wonder - What would Mr. Nakata say about this? What would Mr. Nakata do? I'll always have someone I can turn to. And that's kind of a big deal, if you think about it. It's like part of you will always live inside me. Not that I'm the best container you could find, but better than nothing, huh?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Oshima lightly taps the eraser end of a pencil against his temple a couple of times. The phone rings, but he ignores it.
"Every one of us is losing something precious to us," he says after the phone stops ringing. "Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That's part of what it means to be alive. But inside our heads - at least that's where I imagine it - there's a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to dust things off every once in a while, let in fresh air, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you'll live forever in your own private library."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Time weighs down on you like an old, ambiguous dream. You keep on moving, trying to slip through it. But even if you go to the ends of the earth, you won't be able to escape it. Still, you have to go there - to the edge of the world. There's something you can't do unless you get there.
Brb, tears forever. I need to read every book this guy has written.