(no subject)
the tears, this night, represent regret
I doubt I'll actually miss any of it, however...some of the people...people i never got to know, people i saw every day, people who sat across from me, sat next to me, tried to talk to me. Everyone's talking about going to college...and I have no desire to, however with that choice i feel like i'm taking the wrong path. Straying from the social norm to follow a dream in music, a dream which seems, at times like this, ever so isolating.
I never made a great friend. Never had that person who's always there by my side. In reading this you may be insulted, but you know it's true. I sit alone near every day (my own doing no doubt), and complain to myself through bouts of self inflicted pain (it's not what you're thinking, believe me). And still now I sit alone, waiting to see the first sunrise of my academically free life. Funny how i feel more chained down than ever before.
I never joined a school sport, never acted in a play, never sang in the choir or played in the school band...ive never acted on pure faith, never looked at a clock without reading the time, never took the time to learn your name...ive never gotten the girl...
so I look back, yes. that's what i'm supposed to do, right? Look back in amazement of all the things ive done, all the lives ive touched, all the changes ive made. But you know what? In my blanketed past lies a sea of regret with no site of land. If there is one thing i hate in life it is regret. I hate the fucking word.
So it is, this day now, that I tell myself that Im going to change some things...change myself for what my current being would see as the better. To secure what ive longed for, to put my footprint on the earth and proclaim my faith to my mind.
...give it time...give me time...
I doubt I'll actually miss any of it, however...some of the people...people i never got to know, people i saw every day, people who sat across from me, sat next to me, tried to talk to me. Everyone's talking about going to college...and I have no desire to, however with that choice i feel like i'm taking the wrong path. Straying from the social norm to follow a dream in music, a dream which seems, at times like this, ever so isolating.
I never made a great friend. Never had that person who's always there by my side. In reading this you may be insulted, but you know it's true. I sit alone near every day (my own doing no doubt), and complain to myself through bouts of self inflicted pain (it's not what you're thinking, believe me). And still now I sit alone, waiting to see the first sunrise of my academically free life. Funny how i feel more chained down than ever before.
I never joined a school sport, never acted in a play, never sang in the choir or played in the school band...ive never acted on pure faith, never looked at a clock without reading the time, never took the time to learn your name...ive never gotten the girl...
so I look back, yes. that's what i'm supposed to do, right? Look back in amazement of all the things ive done, all the lives ive touched, all the changes ive made. But you know what? In my blanketed past lies a sea of regret with no site of land. If there is one thing i hate in life it is regret. I hate the fucking word.
So it is, this day now, that I tell myself that Im going to change some things...change myself for what my current being would see as the better. To secure what ive longed for, to put my footprint on the earth and proclaim my faith to my mind.
...give it time...give me time...