Late night ramblings
Been reading through my past entries that I used to blog back when I was in Sydney. I really was the wide eyed girl that filled her suitcase with dreams and go shipped of to a foreign land trying to live those dreams. However, looking back at those times, I really did manage to live part of my dream there I suppose. Got to meet new people, learn a different culture, see different things, experience so much that Malaysia could not offer.
Now that I'm here, working a 9-6 job. Bills to pay, decisions to make. Life back in the days where it was worry free seems to call to me like a siren calling to a sailor. How I wish I could go back to the days where the only concern is just to pass the exams. Nothing more. Right now, you have so much that you have to deal with. People at work, people at home, financial worries, trying to get everything squeezed into 24 hours! Ah well, guess that's how it's like joining the adult world.
Sleep has eluded me yet again tonight. Hence the meme response and this blog entry. Been looking at spreadsheets for so long, it just feels so good to be able to look at a bunch of words that non work related.
I sometimes think that the work environment kind of dampened my writing creativity. I find myself sounding curt and business like as days go by. With all the work etiquette that we have to follow, sometimes I think that my personal emails sound like it's for business, reporting style, making sure that I got everything down. That's so not me, I'm more of the free spirited who just say what's on her mind rather than think through everything and word it carefully so it'll be politically correct. Though sad to say, lately I have to make sure I don't go overboard with my comments or words. Apparently not many people like the blunt approach here in Malaysia. Sad though if I might say, it seems like we're liking in a shroud where politeness is just a mask of something devious inside. It's almost always said with gritted teeth, that fake smile, false handshake. Everything feels like a facade somehow that you have to guard yourself if you think you would have any chance in promotion. I'm not the type of person that would over step someone else and leave a strew of dead bodies just to get that title behind my name. I'm happy in doing what I could and if the management is happy with my performance I'm sure I'll be duly rewarded. Though I would have to say, I observed most times, it's not the most capable that gets the promotion rather that who's PR-ship with the big wigs seal the deal. Sigh....I could never do something like that.
So...back to the days where non of this would be an issue. Oh how I long for it again. Like I told Linda, the faster I get married the faster I could get out of this corporate world and fulfill my dreams of being a housewife/stay at home mom/piano teacher. However for that to happen this equation needs to exist :
[Mr. XXXXXXX + Me]Marraige = Me( housewife/stay at home mom/piano teacher)
Too bad Mr. XXXXXXXXXX is still an unknown......sigh....
Now that I'm here, working a 9-6 job. Bills to pay, decisions to make. Life back in the days where it was worry free seems to call to me like a siren calling to a sailor. How I wish I could go back to the days where the only concern is just to pass the exams. Nothing more. Right now, you have so much that you have to deal with. People at work, people at home, financial worries, trying to get everything squeezed into 24 hours! Ah well, guess that's how it's like joining the adult world.
Sleep has eluded me yet again tonight. Hence the meme response and this blog entry. Been looking at spreadsheets for so long, it just feels so good to be able to look at a bunch of words that non work related.
I sometimes think that the work environment kind of dampened my writing creativity. I find myself sounding curt and business like as days go by. With all the work etiquette that we have to follow, sometimes I think that my personal emails sound like it's for business, reporting style, making sure that I got everything down. That's so not me, I'm more of the free spirited who just say what's on her mind rather than think through everything and word it carefully so it'll be politically correct. Though sad to say, lately I have to make sure I don't go overboard with my comments or words. Apparently not many people like the blunt approach here in Malaysia. Sad though if I might say, it seems like we're liking in a shroud where politeness is just a mask of something devious inside. It's almost always said with gritted teeth, that fake smile, false handshake. Everything feels like a facade somehow that you have to guard yourself if you think you would have any chance in promotion. I'm not the type of person that would over step someone else and leave a strew of dead bodies just to get that title behind my name. I'm happy in doing what I could and if the management is happy with my performance I'm sure I'll be duly rewarded. Though I would have to say, I observed most times, it's not the most capable that gets the promotion rather that who's PR-ship with the big wigs seal the deal. Sigh....I could never do something like that.
So...back to the days where non of this would be an issue. Oh how I long for it again. Like I told Linda, the faster I get married the faster I could get out of this corporate world and fulfill my dreams of being a housewife/stay at home mom/piano teacher. However for that to happen this equation needs to exist :
[Mr. XXXXXXX + Me]Marraige = Me( housewife/stay at home mom/piano teacher)
Too bad Mr. XXXXXXXXXX is still an unknown......sigh....