If only I could be happy~
~.: I think PMS brings out the little kid in me, in a bad way. There's talk of moving my room to the basement so that the new baby can have my room. I'm excited about the new baby as much as anyone and can't wait until he or she is finally here, but for some reason, I feel like giving up my new room at the new house, despite the fact that I'd only be in it for a month and a half consistently, is a huge sacrifice. It could just be my hormones causing me to throw a temper tantrum, or it could be that I've got so much other crap going on in my life that I want at least my bedroom to be constant, or it could be that I feel like I'm getting kicked out of the space that I'd already claimed as mine, or exiled from my new family- I don't know, it could be so much. But anyway, I'm not happy about it. There's no other choice, really, and ultimately I'll end up in the basement starting this summer, but the whole notion is making me depressed. Not to mention, we met with Josh's mom tonight for dinner to talk about renting stuff for the Bristow house and Dad thought it would be a great idea to drag her into the whole ordeal, asking her what she thought. I got a nice long lecture from her about how I'm almost 22 years old and if she were me she would be excited about getting an entire basement to herself, and yada yada yada. First of all, she has no right to lecture me the way she did (and Dad had no right to drag her into our business the way he did, but I'm more ready to forgive him than her), and I'm not her. I like people. Like being around them. I get my energy from it. Comes with being an extrovert. So no, I'm not thrilled with being put into the bottom of the house away from everyone. I want the space that I consider to be mine to be someplace I can associate with as being close to everyone, regardless of whether or not I spend most of my time there, and regardless of whether or not most of the time I spend there will be sleeping.
~.: Losing my bedroom is a really, really stupid reason to resent a baby that everyone is so excited about. But a very selfish part of me does. :/ I hope that doesn't make me a bad person.
~.: On a lighter note, I finally just finished Utena. Now that it's over I can say I liked it. Well, more honestly I liked the last episode. Best episode of the whole series. Now I get to kill my brain with watching the movie tomorrow. I'm hoping there will be more shoujo-ai implications in that, because the series had none (as far as I can tell from what I know about normal, healthy friendships between girls). I was kinda disappointed actually.
~.: I think I'm going to bed now. The wind outside is doing nothing for my mood- it's scary actually.
~.: Losing my bedroom is a really, really stupid reason to resent a baby that everyone is so excited about. But a very selfish part of me does. :/ I hope that doesn't make me a bad person.
~.: On a lighter note, I finally just finished Utena. Now that it's over I can say I liked it. Well, more honestly I liked the last episode. Best episode of the whole series. Now I get to kill my brain with watching the movie tomorrow. I'm hoping there will be more shoujo-ai implications in that, because the series had none (as far as I can tell from what I know about normal, healthy friendships between girls). I was kinda disappointed actually.
~.: I think I'm going to bed now. The wind outside is doing nothing for my mood- it's scary actually.