When Life Doesn't Go the Way You Planned.
Christine sat on the side of her bed. A sickening feeling threatened to rise up in her gut and drown her. The rosy patterned wallpaper of her room did nothing to lift her spirits. Nor did the forgotten school books splayed out on her bed.
Her phone rang. Christine felt so alone, she didn’t feel like talking to anyone. But she saw that the caller was her best friend, Ebony. Maybe she could manage to talk with Ebony.
“Hi, girlfriend,”
“Hey, Christine, want to hang out today?”
“Yeah, OK. Can I meet you at the park?”
“Why the park? You usually come over here to escape your mom.”
“Can we just meet there in twenty minutes? Please?”
It felt good to get out of the house. Christine gazed with appreciation at the bright, green swaying branches of the sycamore trees. For a tiny moment, she was happy. Then she felt that feeling in her stomach again. Oh God, she thought.
Oh, there is Ebony! Christine sat down in the swing next to where Ebony was slowly twisting.
“Jeez, you don’t look so good, Christine. Is everything OK?”
“Ebony, please don’t say ‘Jeez’, you know my parents would go ballistic. They call it ‘taking the Lord’s name in vain.’ And, no, I don’t feel so hot.”
“Oh, too bad. What do you think is the matter? Food poisoning?”
Ebony continued, “Say, you never talked much about that party on Cinco de mayo. I heard some kids got a little too carried away with beer. Was it fun?”
“Uh, about that. You know I was really looking forward to seeing Brett. And the other kids from ninth grade. When I got there, everyone was having a blast. I even got talked into having some beer. Uh, swear to secrecy? Don’t tell my mom!”
“Of course not!”
“Ebony, I’m worried I could be pregnant!”
“My God! How? Oops, sorry about saying god. How could you possibly be pregnant?”
Christine continued, “Let’s just say that Brett got carried away. There were some of his friends there, too. I think I blacked out. I’m not entirely sure what happened. I do know I had dirt and grass stains on my new skirt that I had gotten for my fourteenth birthday.
“All I can say is, I’ve vomited a few times since then. I’m really scared.”
Ebony took her friend in her arms. “I think we should get you a pregnancy test. If you’ve got time, we could walk over to Parenthood Planning right now. It’s only a few blocks away.”
Christine was sobbing now. “Really? Will you come with me?”
Less than an hour later, Ebony was pulling open the heavy door to the clinic. Christine felt cold sweat running straight out of her armpits as she entered. Without thinking, she grabbed Ebony’s hand. Ebony led her up to the reception desk. “My friend would like a pregnancy test,” she shared with the woman behind the desk. Christine squeezed her hand gratefully.
Half an hour later, Christine and Ebony huddled in an examining room. Christine had been told to pee in a cup and now they were awaiting the results. There was a light knock on the door and a woman in scrubs printed with butterflies came in. She sat down in front of the girls and took Christine’s hands in hers. “Honey, the test is positive.”
“What does that mean,” asked Christine. “I mean, for me the positive result would be to not be pregnant.”
The butterfly scrubs woman smiled gently. “Well, dear. In this case you have a positive pregnancy test. Considering your age, I’m thinking it would be helpful for you to join a discussion group to help you understand your options. We just happen to have one in session right now. Would you like to follow me?”
Ebony and Christine found themselves entering an inviting room with several women seated on sofas scattered around the room. Cheery art and simple bouquets made the room homey. As they found a place to sit, a professional-looking woman in a lemon-yellow jacket was bringing her listeners up to date.
“Ladies, rest assured that we here at Parenthood Planning want the very best for you. We regret to inform you that some of our pregnancy services may be in jeopardy. Laws in this state may soon be curtailed to satisfy conservative and religious elements in our society. Today we have here Mrs. Teresa Blasowics, our representative in Congress. I have invited her here so that she may be better informed about the needs of the families of our district, including the occasional unfortunate need to terminate a pregnancy. I urge you to be frank with her so that she has a well-rounded vision of the challenges we face.
“In light of the changing situation, we also want you to become as informed as possible as early as possible so that you will not find yourself out on a limb without services if our laws change. Thus, we will share our own stories. Some of you may find that terminating your pregnancy is the best choice for your personal health and the welfare of your family, both now and in the future. Some of you will decide that any inconveniences and expense are worth it and you will welcome this child. I hope that hearing from many women’s experiences will clarify your decision.
“First, I’d like to introduce Juanita.”
“I don’t know how I will manage having a fifth baby!” Juanita lamented. My husband is very sick. He used to bring in money from his gardening business. I don’t know if he will even recover. Sometimes I’m able to pick up housekeeping jobs. But that will be very difficult if I have another infant to take care of. And what will happen with my other children? We are stretched thin financially with the little money we have now.”
A Black woman interjected. “I hear you honey! Look at me. I have five kids that I’ve struggled to raise on my low pay in fast food. No husband in sight. I’m forty-five. Already my ten-year-old is looking up to the neighbor boy who is getting into drug sales and gangs. I want more for my kids than that. The children I already have deserve more of me than they’re getting. I can only be spread so thin.”
Christine listened to these women with dismay. She had been sad that she might miss football games and the Junior Prom. Listening to the world-weary women drove home to her that having a baby was much, much more than cute outfits and bedtime stories. Sure, she could do that too, but what about her goals to go to college and maybe have a cool career?
Hikari was speaking now. It was difficult to understand her through her tears. “I wanted this baby so bad. But we’ve learned that it’s developing with a very tiny brain. There’s no way it can survive. I can’t spend the rest of my pregnancy risking my health for a child that will be brain dead when it is born. It also would need extensive surgery. I can’t do that to my child. Having this pregnancy terminated is the most humane way to care for my baby.”
Blasowics interjected, “Are you saying you need the terminate your pregnancy for your own convenience? That’s hardly the moral choice!”
Baharay, the moderator in the lemon- yellow jacket, turned to reply to the congresswoman. “Well, let me share my story. Let me know if you think I made a choice based on personal convenience. In my thirties I had three children under six. One day I began to have excruciating pains in my abdomen. My husband rushed me to the emergency room where my blood pressure was dropping precipitously. It was only by quick intervention that the medical staff was able to save my life from a pregnancy that was settled in my fallopian tubes, an ectopic pregnancy. It was on the verge of bursting. My doctor told us that, had we arrived even ten minutes later, I would not have survived. My children would have been left without their mother. That pregnancy would never have resulted in a human life. Instead, my own life would have been sacrificed-for absolutely no reason."
Christine was aghast. She slowly raised her hand. “My mother has always taught me that all babies are God’s plan. Why would He do that to you? She says that it is a sin to get an abortion. But I’m only fourteen. I was raped. What can I do?”
Baharay turned understanding eyes on Christine. “Dear, I think you need to think long and hard about what YOUR feelings are about it. Maybe make a list of pros and cons. Then, honey, armed with those considerations, I think you should discuss it with your mother. Maybe when she sees her beloved daughter in this situation, she will soften her opinions.”
Keisha, the Black woman, turned to Christine. “Sorry to say, hon, but life is full of hard choices. For most of us here, it hasn’t turned out exactly the way we had planned. But you look at the way things are, here and now, and you make the best choices you can with the resources you have available.”
Then she turned to the congresswoman. “And I’m telling you, ma'am, that for life and liberty, not even counting the pursuit of happiness, you had better ensure your constituents have every safe means available to them to make wise decisions about their own families’ health.
“Or be prepared to get voted out of office by someone who has a better idea of the needs of the citizens of this country.”
"Hear, hear. Hear, hear." The other women smiled at each other and gently applauded Keisha's outburst.
Christine sniffed and wiped her eyes. Suddenly she didn't feel so alone.
Her phone rang. Christine felt so alone, she didn’t feel like talking to anyone. But she saw that the caller was her best friend, Ebony. Maybe she could manage to talk with Ebony.
“Hi, girlfriend,”
“Hey, Christine, want to hang out today?”
“Yeah, OK. Can I meet you at the park?”
“Why the park? You usually come over here to escape your mom.”
“Can we just meet there in twenty minutes? Please?”
It felt good to get out of the house. Christine gazed with appreciation at the bright, green swaying branches of the sycamore trees. For a tiny moment, she was happy. Then she felt that feeling in her stomach again. Oh God, she thought.
Oh, there is Ebony! Christine sat down in the swing next to where Ebony was slowly twisting.
“Jeez, you don’t look so good, Christine. Is everything OK?”
“Ebony, please don’t say ‘Jeez’, you know my parents would go ballistic. They call it ‘taking the Lord’s name in vain.’ And, no, I don’t feel so hot.”
“Oh, too bad. What do you think is the matter? Food poisoning?”
Ebony continued, “Say, you never talked much about that party on Cinco de mayo. I heard some kids got a little too carried away with beer. Was it fun?”
“Uh, about that. You know I was really looking forward to seeing Brett. And the other kids from ninth grade. When I got there, everyone was having a blast. I even got talked into having some beer. Uh, swear to secrecy? Don’t tell my mom!”
“Of course not!”
“Ebony, I’m worried I could be pregnant!”
“My God! How? Oops, sorry about saying god. How could you possibly be pregnant?”
Christine continued, “Let’s just say that Brett got carried away. There were some of his friends there, too. I think I blacked out. I’m not entirely sure what happened. I do know I had dirt and grass stains on my new skirt that I had gotten for my fourteenth birthday.
“All I can say is, I’ve vomited a few times since then. I’m really scared.”
Ebony took her friend in her arms. “I think we should get you a pregnancy test. If you’ve got time, we could walk over to Parenthood Planning right now. It’s only a few blocks away.”
Christine was sobbing now. “Really? Will you come with me?”
Less than an hour later, Ebony was pulling open the heavy door to the clinic. Christine felt cold sweat running straight out of her armpits as she entered. Without thinking, she grabbed Ebony’s hand. Ebony led her up to the reception desk. “My friend would like a pregnancy test,” she shared with the woman behind the desk. Christine squeezed her hand gratefully.
Half an hour later, Christine and Ebony huddled in an examining room. Christine had been told to pee in a cup and now they were awaiting the results. There was a light knock on the door and a woman in scrubs printed with butterflies came in. She sat down in front of the girls and took Christine’s hands in hers. “Honey, the test is positive.”
“What does that mean,” asked Christine. “I mean, for me the positive result would be to not be pregnant.”
The butterfly scrubs woman smiled gently. “Well, dear. In this case you have a positive pregnancy test. Considering your age, I’m thinking it would be helpful for you to join a discussion group to help you understand your options. We just happen to have one in session right now. Would you like to follow me?”
Ebony and Christine found themselves entering an inviting room with several women seated on sofas scattered around the room. Cheery art and simple bouquets made the room homey. As they found a place to sit, a professional-looking woman in a lemon-yellow jacket was bringing her listeners up to date.
“Ladies, rest assured that we here at Parenthood Planning want the very best for you. We regret to inform you that some of our pregnancy services may be in jeopardy. Laws in this state may soon be curtailed to satisfy conservative and religious elements in our society. Today we have here Mrs. Teresa Blasowics, our representative in Congress. I have invited her here so that she may be better informed about the needs of the families of our district, including the occasional unfortunate need to terminate a pregnancy. I urge you to be frank with her so that she has a well-rounded vision of the challenges we face.
“In light of the changing situation, we also want you to become as informed as possible as early as possible so that you will not find yourself out on a limb without services if our laws change. Thus, we will share our own stories. Some of you may find that terminating your pregnancy is the best choice for your personal health and the welfare of your family, both now and in the future. Some of you will decide that any inconveniences and expense are worth it and you will welcome this child. I hope that hearing from many women’s experiences will clarify your decision.
“First, I’d like to introduce Juanita.”
“I don’t know how I will manage having a fifth baby!” Juanita lamented. My husband is very sick. He used to bring in money from his gardening business. I don’t know if he will even recover. Sometimes I’m able to pick up housekeeping jobs. But that will be very difficult if I have another infant to take care of. And what will happen with my other children? We are stretched thin financially with the little money we have now.”
A Black woman interjected. “I hear you honey! Look at me. I have five kids that I’ve struggled to raise on my low pay in fast food. No husband in sight. I’m forty-five. Already my ten-year-old is looking up to the neighbor boy who is getting into drug sales and gangs. I want more for my kids than that. The children I already have deserve more of me than they’re getting. I can only be spread so thin.”
Christine listened to these women with dismay. She had been sad that she might miss football games and the Junior Prom. Listening to the world-weary women drove home to her that having a baby was much, much more than cute outfits and bedtime stories. Sure, she could do that too, but what about her goals to go to college and maybe have a cool career?
Hikari was speaking now. It was difficult to understand her through her tears. “I wanted this baby so bad. But we’ve learned that it’s developing with a very tiny brain. There’s no way it can survive. I can’t spend the rest of my pregnancy risking my health for a child that will be brain dead when it is born. It also would need extensive surgery. I can’t do that to my child. Having this pregnancy terminated is the most humane way to care for my baby.”
Blasowics interjected, “Are you saying you need the terminate your pregnancy for your own convenience? That’s hardly the moral choice!”
Baharay, the moderator in the lemon- yellow jacket, turned to reply to the congresswoman. “Well, let me share my story. Let me know if you think I made a choice based on personal convenience. In my thirties I had three children under six. One day I began to have excruciating pains in my abdomen. My husband rushed me to the emergency room where my blood pressure was dropping precipitously. It was only by quick intervention that the medical staff was able to save my life from a pregnancy that was settled in my fallopian tubes, an ectopic pregnancy. It was on the verge of bursting. My doctor told us that, had we arrived even ten minutes later, I would not have survived. My children would have been left without their mother. That pregnancy would never have resulted in a human life. Instead, my own life would have been sacrificed-for absolutely no reason."
Christine was aghast. She slowly raised her hand. “My mother has always taught me that all babies are God’s plan. Why would He do that to you? She says that it is a sin to get an abortion. But I’m only fourteen. I was raped. What can I do?”
Baharay turned understanding eyes on Christine. “Dear, I think you need to think long and hard about what YOUR feelings are about it. Maybe make a list of pros and cons. Then, honey, armed with those considerations, I think you should discuss it with your mother. Maybe when she sees her beloved daughter in this situation, she will soften her opinions.”
Keisha, the Black woman, turned to Christine. “Sorry to say, hon, but life is full of hard choices. For most of us here, it hasn’t turned out exactly the way we had planned. But you look at the way things are, here and now, and you make the best choices you can with the resources you have available.”
Then she turned to the congresswoman. “And I’m telling you, ma'am, that for life and liberty, not even counting the pursuit of happiness, you had better ensure your constituents have every safe means available to them to make wise decisions about their own families’ health.
“Or be prepared to get voted out of office by someone who has a better idea of the needs of the citizens of this country.”
"Hear, hear. Hear, hear." The other women smiled at each other and gently applauded Keisha's outburst.
Christine sniffed and wiped her eyes. Suddenly she didn't feel so alone.