I promised...
I promised that this one would be a happy one and well i try not to break my promises. Nothing really happy is going on in my life right now. I did find a place to live with two really nice girls. The best things about this apartment are that my room is purple (wohoo) they have a washer and dryer (double wohoo)and that it has hardwood floors (my fav). I think thats about all the happiness I can mustar up at this time. Now onto reality....
Last night I realized that I had made the right decision. You would think I would find some comfort in that...but really I felt worse. I think the fact that I felt I had control over the decision...that it could have went either way made me feel like it wasnt really my fault. In all reality I think its the other way around. When I realized that I had made the right decision...I
realized that I had no control. I realized this is what had to happen and that maybe all these problems started because of me. of haMaybe if I had done things differently things wouldnt have gotten so outnd. Maybe if I had a different personality or looked different things would have been different. It could just be that I cant hold a mans attention for extended periods of time. Maybe the idea of life with me and the reality of it are just two totally different things. Whatever it is...it sucks...but then again reality always sucks. On a happier...less bitter note...
I have to say that I am an incredibily lucky girl. I have been lucky enough to love and be loved by a pretty amazing guy and If i died tommorow it would be ok cause Ive experienced love and thats all that matters.
Last night I realized that I had made the right decision. You would think I would find some comfort in that...but really I felt worse. I think the fact that I felt I had control over the decision...that it could have went either way made me feel like it wasnt really my fault. In all reality I think its the other way around. When I realized that I had made the right decision...I
realized that I had no control. I realized this is what had to happen and that maybe all these problems started because of me. of haMaybe if I had done things differently things wouldnt have gotten so outnd. Maybe if I had a different personality or looked different things would have been different. It could just be that I cant hold a mans attention for extended periods of time. Maybe the idea of life with me and the reality of it are just two totally different things. Whatever it is...it sucks...but then again reality always sucks. On a happier...less bitter note...
I have to say that I am an incredibily lucky girl. I have been lucky enough to love and be loved by a pretty amazing guy and If i died tommorow it would be ok cause Ive experienced love and thats all that matters.