Just where the hell am i?
I must reiterate. Just where the hell am i, in life, to be on the ol' live-journal when i should have written this off with the rest of interwebs 1.0.
Internet explorer, gone! and good riddance. lime wire, likewise. Yet here is live journal, limping along on my occasional handouts. I am all for writing, because with the exception of letters to my brother stranded in the south pacific my creative wording has lost substantial footing. So this is a good thing. I will ramble a bit and then get back to the time sink of scanning film and watching bad movies on netflix.
To recap since the last foray into online ranting - home from the mystic orient, intense school, new loves, dead grandfathers (plural), awkward intimacy, extensive driving, poverty, hapkido, new friends, family reunions, lost friends, drinking, spoiled opportunities, camping, soldering, group projects, ping pong, new braincells to cover up the ones lost from alcohol and lead fumes...etc
I guess its free time, of which i have had very little over the last quarter. Now that i have it its as if ive won the lottery but realize wanting something is often better than actually having it. That is not to say that i could stomach being in school any longer than i need to. My capacity for academia has been extinguished by the great golden stream of piss that has followed my since the start. Luckily, my mediocre grades rule out the possibility of grad school immediately following graduation. Thank the god in charge of that one.
So its nearing the end, and life will change yet again and as ive heard in a movie, or maybe a tv show, at any rate its clearly not my original thought, that at the end we start to think of the beginning. shit, this will drive me crazy. i know it wasnt something worth quoting, it was probably from some terrible romantic comedy and the protagonist male -as it usually is- is standing before the woman with which he harbors so much conflict and says this line to her, but instead of riding off into the sunset or a marathon sex session he stops you and just derails the whole thing, saying that he is better off without her and blah blah blah. i guess the beginning wasnt all that great. Point being, i suppose i find myself on her, trolling through lost archives of my most frivolous thoughts, because its comforting at the ends to familiarize yourself with where you came from.
from here, i dont know where the road leads, but thats the exciting thing about life, isnt it?
so, i suppose to outline where id like a direction for this road to lead:
to borrow from a friend
WRITE - stories, poems, songs, journal entries, the occasional haiku
PHOTGRAPH - everything
BICYCLE - ride everywhere
MUSIC - play, listen to, or see live
READ - books, short stories, poetry
WALK THE EARTH - like Jules from Pulp Fiction, like Cain in Kung Fu
GROW - its painful, but do it anyways
I suppose the only responsible thing is to take all that hard gotten wisdom and put it to good use.
this has got to be a metaphor or allusion in there somewhere.
go fish.