(no subject)
my dreams are getting further and further away from something i can connect to. that is not to say they are dreamlike, they are entirely of this world, but i feel no connection to them. faces are exchanged and no longer hold any value. i'm afraid to come across a mirror while asleep, i dont know who will be looking back.
I spent almost an hour waiting for the bus yesterday- one of them broke down or maybe traffic- but while waiting there i realized that most of my life feels like that hour, continuous empty reflections while waiting to get somewhere. When the bus finally makes it to the stop there are now two of them, a bus surplus, what a world. Its no wonder why i feel so comfortable at airports, a part of my job that i never really confessed to liking- picking up foreign students at LAX and the SD airport - but while waiting at the outlet of customs the world passes within your view and wipes your brain clean, a lot like TV. Maybe all this outside stimulus, with seemingly little inward consequences, is having an effect, and maybe thats what all this weird shit in my subconscious is about.
time to get back to the masquerade