I can't do this
Dear Diary,
I need to keep moving forward and get out of my own head. My friends tell me that the biggest problem I have is that I think too much. I get so caught up in my own head I let these opprotunites and obstacles that I need to solve crash through me and pass me by. I can only think of my own misery, the fake kind that I craft with uncomfortable words that were whispered in ancient tounges that only I can understand. My siblings have forgotten the fights, the laughter, and the frustration and anger that beats in the hearts of who we call mom and dad. My friend asked me if my views were skewed if I had warped my own reality to create this fear, this lust for something more, something dreadful, something real and alive. Something to break the silence and regret and torment. I need to stop doing this. I need to keep moving forward and put one foot in front of the other I need to keep moving forward.
I have decided to write. And use this blog as a personal diary. A blog where no one I knows follows me anymore. A blog where I can fully be myself and work through this clinical depression that I have. I need to get out of this I need to stop pretending and I need to grow up. I hate feeling abandoned alone, lost at sea, I hate not having people I can hold onto. I feel like if I get too close to someone I will pull them down with me. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to die.
I need to keep moving forward and get out of my own head. My friends tell me that the biggest problem I have is that I think too much. I get so caught up in my own head I let these opprotunites and obstacles that I need to solve crash through me and pass me by. I can only think of my own misery, the fake kind that I craft with uncomfortable words that were whispered in ancient tounges that only I can understand. My siblings have forgotten the fights, the laughter, and the frustration and anger that beats in the hearts of who we call mom and dad. My friend asked me if my views were skewed if I had warped my own reality to create this fear, this lust for something more, something dreadful, something real and alive. Something to break the silence and regret and torment. I need to stop doing this. I need to keep moving forward and put one foot in front of the other I need to keep moving forward.
I have decided to write. And use this blog as a personal diary. A blog where no one I knows follows me anymore. A blog where I can fully be myself and work through this clinical depression that I have. I need to get out of this I need to stop pretending and I need to grow up. I hate feeling abandoned alone, lost at sea, I hate not having people I can hold onto. I feel like if I get too close to someone I will pull them down with me. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to die.