I am submitting a piece of writing on "rejecting the need to pass" for Mattilda a.k.a Matt Bernstein Sycamore for her new book which she asks
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Within queer spaces I am often labeled as femme, which is not how I identify myself. I tend to express my femininity more overtly and in ways that are more identifiable to others than as to how I express my masculinity. Some of that is purposefully performative, since I enjoy performing femme, and some of it comes from a combination of what feels “natural” and the way I outwardly present, which continues to be deeply affected by being raised with fairly rigid expectations on what it meant for me to female. So, while I am not in any way attempting to pass as femme within queer spaces, I apparently do so pretty successfully, and I’m still trying to figure out what that means.
As for your question about your gender expression, I could imagine others viewing it as somewhat androgynous or ambiguous, but ambiguousness usually implies vagueness, and there’s nothing vague about your gender at all. The ways in which you express both femininity and masculinity don’t feel contradictory, but very complimentary in the sense that they aren’t each other’s opposites, but come together to make up something entirely different. I really like it.
P.S. My friend Gina is one of the hosts at an event this Saturday that Mattilda/Matt is reading at that sounds really fun. It’s called BOMBSHELL: queers on sex, war, & homewrecking. I can’t remember all the details but I can find the thing she sent me if you’re interested.
As for your question about your gender expression, I could imagine others viewing it as somewhat androgynous or ambiguous, but ambiguousness usually implies vagueness, and there’s nothing vague about your gender at all. The ways in which you express both femininity and masculinity don’t feel contradictory, but very complimentary in the sense that they aren’t each other’s opposites, but come together to make up something entirely different. I really like it.
P.S. My friend Gina is one of the hosts at an event this Saturday that Mattilda/Matt is reading at that sounds really fun. It’s called BOMBSHELL: queers on sex, war, & homewrecking. I can’t remember all the details but I can find the thing she sent me if you’re interested.
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