(no subject)
another fine day of training...although by now i'm starting to realize its more in how much you believe in the product than in yourself...no wonder they say salesman have to sell their souls to the devil...the first step to all of this crap is to call all the people i know and set up appointments...of course, no matter if they buy or not, i get paid $13
and yes...calling people you haven't really talked to in a few years just to set up a business appointment feels really shaddy and heartless but i'm seeing right threw it and instead it comes out like this...'yes, i almost forgot you existed...no, i don't think its impossible for us to start over again'...the funny thing is...the best way to meet and know a lot of people is to go to church....or to be involved w/ school programs...its fucking amazing how many people out there really love you!!!!
i called this one family, the vellilas...i knew them from the evangelical church my step mom 'forced' me into going to over 4 years ago...i always dug how loose and humorous they were, and how much they loved talking to me about philosophy and such (you should have heard the shit coming out of my mouth at 16)...i call them up and say hello and ask if they remember me and within a few seconds the whole family is yelling out little word bits i used to throw out at em...the whole family is yelling, 'what is charleston up to now?'...'are you still the diabolical?'!!!
anyway....i'm gonna go show them 'the goods' at 7 on sunday and see if we can't get back on a personal base...the funny thing is, just thinking about them...I MISS CHURCH...or at least the people going to them
i got 9 other appointments planned as well...mostly my friend's parents and a few people from around the neighborhood...hopefully by tomorrow i'll have a lot more...still haven't gotten in touch w/ my mom
and speaking of which...just to show that NO, i'm still not a great person...her birthday was a few days ago and the fuck if i didn't do anything for her...i feel horrible...i'm gonna stop there tomorrow morning and give her a big hug...and anything else she needs to feel better about having a son who never remembers her birthday
...optimistically speaking, at least i'm actually feeling somewhat guilty...a month ago i just would have felt worthless and numb...aka...selfish
eh, enough about that...does anyone wanna cuddle? for once, my heart and hands feel emptier than my knees
love...
and yes...calling people you haven't really talked to in a few years just to set up a business appointment feels really shaddy and heartless but i'm seeing right threw it and instead it comes out like this...'yes, i almost forgot you existed...no, i don't think its impossible for us to start over again'...the funny thing is...the best way to meet and know a lot of people is to go to church....or to be involved w/ school programs...its fucking amazing how many people out there really love you!!!!
i called this one family, the vellilas...i knew them from the evangelical church my step mom 'forced' me into going to over 4 years ago...i always dug how loose and humorous they were, and how much they loved talking to me about philosophy and such (you should have heard the shit coming out of my mouth at 16)...i call them up and say hello and ask if they remember me and within a few seconds the whole family is yelling out little word bits i used to throw out at em...the whole family is yelling, 'what is charleston up to now?'...'are you still the diabolical?'!!!
anyway....i'm gonna go show them 'the goods' at 7 on sunday and see if we can't get back on a personal base...the funny thing is, just thinking about them...I MISS CHURCH...or at least the people going to them
i got 9 other appointments planned as well...mostly my friend's parents and a few people from around the neighborhood...hopefully by tomorrow i'll have a lot more...still haven't gotten in touch w/ my mom
and speaking of which...just to show that NO, i'm still not a great person...her birthday was a few days ago and the fuck if i didn't do anything for her...i feel horrible...i'm gonna stop there tomorrow morning and give her a big hug...and anything else she needs to feel better about having a son who never remembers her birthday
...optimistically speaking, at least i'm actually feeling somewhat guilty...a month ago i just would have felt worthless and numb...aka...selfish
eh, enough about that...does anyone wanna cuddle? for once, my heart and hands feel emptier than my knees
love...