the 'lie' i was referring to had more to do with carlei. you're not the sole source of my pain, david. hell, when i hurt i just... shit. whatever. the reason i feel so shitty is she's back with that chick who supposedly 'raped' her and now i don't believe any fucking word she says. i'm positive she switched the truth around about most everything she's ever told me. but i apologized to her, and said that this wasn't her fault... like hell it's not her fault.
marmaduke affects me more than he should. i cried in front of everybody over him. SOLELY MARMADADUKE. NOT YOU. NOT THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL. i can't even fathom the idea of his dying without having known how much somebody loves him... how much I LOVE HIM. and that he's so oblivious to the number of his days... it fucking makes me cry just telling you about it. no one understands how much i love that dog... how much love i put into being around him. how much i wish i could passo n that love to someone who can take him in.
...but i won't lie and say your (seeming) apathy to my situation doesn't hurt me. i'm sorry david... i really hate it when i hurt you. most of that shit wasn't even directed toward you anyway. SERIOUSLY. it's this fact that i don't always have someone to talk to about it... about marmaduke and carlei... and how i feel so inarticulate when i do try to express it.
two good things... we grow stronger... and i've progressed immensely on my guitar over the last three or four days...
i love you. i really do. i hate it when you're feeling bad... and it's not always that it weighs down on my conscience. it's just the fact that you DO feel bad...
marmaduke affects me more than he should. i cried in front of everybody over him. SOLELY MARMADADUKE. NOT YOU. NOT THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL. i can't even fathom the idea of his dying without having known how much somebody loves him... how much I LOVE HIM. and that he's so oblivious to the number of his days... it fucking makes me cry just telling you about it. no one understands how much i love that dog... how much love i put into being around him. how much i wish i could passo n that love to someone who can take him in.
...but i won't lie and say your (seeming) apathy to my situation doesn't hurt me. i'm sorry david... i really hate it when i hurt you. most of that shit wasn't even directed toward you anyway. SERIOUSLY. it's this fact that i don't always have someone to talk to about it... about marmaduke and carlei... and how i feel so inarticulate when i do try to express it.
two good things... we grow stronger... and i've progressed immensely on my guitar over the last three or four days...
i love you. i really do. i hate it when you're feeling bad... and it's not always that it weighs down on my conscience. it's just the fact that you DO feel bad...
i really love you.
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you make it look like nothing is going right
and i'm not feeling very selfish when i say
'it really bothers me'
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