Cuppa AnxieTea?
Figured best way to deal with sudden stress is to try and break it down into all the reasons I'm stressed out at once.
We'll start with the big chronic always-problem.
I'm po'.
Hubby got paid last night sure, but $259 for two weeks of worth is not enough for one person to live on, let alone two of us. It's not even enough for our share of rent. He's really been dragging his feet on getting a second job, which is of course nothing new. Even when I was going crazy working a 40hour a week job and told him we weren't making enough and I wasn't going to be able to work much longer, he still dragged his feet. I've been telling him to get a second job for nearly 3 years now(or was it only two? Fuck I'm terrible with time).
I'm still a month away from catching up on commissions, so, new work is unlikely, and I'm not ready to look for it anyway. I'm likely to cut back on how many commissions I take soon as well, disregarding whatever I pick up or not at Ac. One of my primary goals of late is to streamline and refine my business practices, getting my affairs into order to have at least a partially established system in place before I get around to actually registering as an official business. As it is I'm stressed as hell about getting commissions finished in time for the con, much less organizing my things to have a successful run in the Artist's Alley. Hell, I STILL don't have an organized work space IN MY HOME to work on things, which is half the reason I'm so far behind on work in the first place. One commissioner mentioned refunds so I've gone into full blown panic over it all.
And on top of it all, I'm really concerned the little blister on my toe from walking around in flip flops too much just may have picked up a bacterial infection. I've given it a few submergences in hydrogen peroxide, which might've helped, and it's entirely possible the 'spreading infection' is actually a secondary injury of a bug bite on top of the same toe. Regardless, not having insurance, being poor, and already owing a great deal of debt in result of an earlier ER trip from an unexpected infection, I'm more than a little freaked out.
I'm trying to focus, trying to pare down the worries to just focusing on one thing at a time (trying to sculpt automail on a pony), but all the worries are stressing me out.
I'm probably going to be okay, and trying to reassure myself of the things I do have, reliable helpful roomates, who can help cover us on rent, as we did them the first month, a pretty good likelihood we won't be getting kicked out anytime soon (living in a legal gray area, yay :\ ), a decent store of food, if I could convince anyone else to cook on a regular basis, and honestly, my commissioners are likely to be flexible with me. But the panic is much easier than just trying to put my faith in a universe that likes to keep me on my toes and then throw an earthquake, tornado and flood in the mix(okay hyperbolizing now, some people actually do have those things going on right now). Which I guess helps me put things in perspective.
We'll start with the big chronic always-problem.
I'm po'.
Hubby got paid last night sure, but $259 for two weeks of worth is not enough for one person to live on, let alone two of us. It's not even enough for our share of rent. He's really been dragging his feet on getting a second job, which is of course nothing new. Even when I was going crazy working a 40hour a week job and told him we weren't making enough and I wasn't going to be able to work much longer, he still dragged his feet. I've been telling him to get a second job for nearly 3 years now(or was it only two? Fuck I'm terrible with time).
I'm still a month away from catching up on commissions, so, new work is unlikely, and I'm not ready to look for it anyway. I'm likely to cut back on how many commissions I take soon as well, disregarding whatever I pick up or not at Ac. One of my primary goals of late is to streamline and refine my business practices, getting my affairs into order to have at least a partially established system in place before I get around to actually registering as an official business. As it is I'm stressed as hell about getting commissions finished in time for the con, much less organizing my things to have a successful run in the Artist's Alley. Hell, I STILL don't have an organized work space IN MY HOME to work on things, which is half the reason I'm so far behind on work in the first place. One commissioner mentioned refunds so I've gone into full blown panic over it all.
And on top of it all, I'm really concerned the little blister on my toe from walking around in flip flops too much just may have picked up a bacterial infection. I've given it a few submergences in hydrogen peroxide, which might've helped, and it's entirely possible the 'spreading infection' is actually a secondary injury of a bug bite on top of the same toe. Regardless, not having insurance, being poor, and already owing a great deal of debt in result of an earlier ER trip from an unexpected infection, I'm more than a little freaked out.
I'm trying to focus, trying to pare down the worries to just focusing on one thing at a time (trying to sculpt automail on a pony), but all the worries are stressing me out.
I'm probably going to be okay, and trying to reassure myself of the things I do have, reliable helpful roomates, who can help cover us on rent, as we did them the first month, a pretty good likelihood we won't be getting kicked out anytime soon (living in a legal gray area, yay :\ ), a decent store of food, if I could convince anyone else to cook on a regular basis, and honestly, my commissioners are likely to be flexible with me. But the panic is much easier than just trying to put my faith in a universe that likes to keep me on my toes and then throw an earthquake, tornado and flood in the mix(okay hyperbolizing now, some people actually do have those things going on right now). Which I guess helps me put things in perspective.