(no subject)
I'm not too sure what to write. I have all these comforting words, these e-hugs and real hugs, but it won't stop. I feel something inside. But I don't know what it is truly. Anger, pain, my own self destruction and feelings of beibg unworthy eating away at me. Maybe all of the above. Most likely all of the above. It just keeps repeating in my mind. "Worthless, unworthy, not fucking good enough". The other night I saw Raven and Shadow. It was weird. I was dreaming, but they got solid. They were real. They're part of Cam, but they looked so sad. They were collared. I was talking to Raven and he said he was collard because Cam thought he had grown soft. And Shadow was always nice, even to me. Raven talked to me, until I jerked awake. I touched his face, and he felt solid to me. I am very worried about those two. I'm very tired. I think I'm going to go say goodnight to my friend Neesi and then head to bed. I worked an 8 hour shift doing drive thru, line, cook, and front. And tomorrow I get to do it all over again..:sighs:I am so fucking depressed..