(no subject)
Jim Morrison? Yeah, I fucked him.
Wait... That was Yanni. It was cool until he wanted me to cover him in seran wrap and shit on his chest. I was like "dude, just give me my $10, I'm calling a cab."
The highlights of JRTC are as follows:
1.) A group of us pooled together $300 to get a guy named Brown AKA "dirty brown" to eat a chunk of horseshit without puking. He made it 5 chews into it (I was gagging just watching) then tried to wash it down with water and ended up vomiting. THEN he receives 2 weeks extra duty for eating shit.
2.) Another bet, Different guy. $175 to drop his pants and sit in a fire ant hill for 60 seconds without using his hands. He got paid.
3.) While I was asleep one night, Several people heard me talking out loud saying shit like "HOLD ON! IM COMING!!!" and "YEAHHHHHH, Thats my MOMMA!!" I was unaware of this when I woke up and told them about the kick ass dream I just had about fucking Fran Drescher, And I mean dirty too, She was wearing her ankles for earings and making that woody woodpecker laugh of hers. (*)
(*)I cant tell you how many nights I've layed awake thinking of her wearing a crotchless hamster outfit while
running on a huge wheel I welded together in my basement as I watch with malevolent eyes and a 50,000 volt
tazer crackling in my hand. Follow your dreams kids.
All in all I can truly say it sucked. Good training and tax dollars well spent.
Wait... That was Yanni. It was cool until he wanted me to cover him in seran wrap and shit on his chest. I was like "dude, just give me my $10, I'm calling a cab."
The highlights of JRTC are as follows:
1.) A group of us pooled together $300 to get a guy named Brown AKA "dirty brown" to eat a chunk of horseshit without puking. He made it 5 chews into it (I was gagging just watching) then tried to wash it down with water and ended up vomiting. THEN he receives 2 weeks extra duty for eating shit.
2.) Another bet, Different guy. $175 to drop his pants and sit in a fire ant hill for 60 seconds without using his hands. He got paid.
3.) While I was asleep one night, Several people heard me talking out loud saying shit like "HOLD ON! IM COMING!!!" and "YEAHHHHHH, Thats my MOMMA!!" I was unaware of this when I woke up and told them about the kick ass dream I just had about fucking Fran Drescher, And I mean dirty too, She was wearing her ankles for earings and making that woody woodpecker laugh of hers. (*)
(*)I cant tell you how many nights I've layed awake thinking of her wearing a crotchless hamster outfit while
running on a huge wheel I welded together in my basement as I watch with malevolent eyes and a 50,000 volt
tazer crackling in my hand. Follow your dreams kids.
All in all I can truly say it sucked. Good training and tax dollars well spent.