wow its been a long time...
so this is the way i see it:
sometimes i feel like i should give those other guys a chance that seem like nice guys and treat women right. but then i think, well they might be awesome in the beginning, but then they turn out just like the one youve got, so whats the point? why not just make it work with the one youve got? i dont trust love... i dont think i ever really have, but ive just kinda gone with the flow. i dont know how that comes off, but i dont know how to word it any differently. i just know that love failed my parents and that i dont want to end up like them. im scared as hell of it all because of that.
i dont want to waste my time in a relationship that may eventually not work if i never get to see the guy im dating in the process. im just scared of the future and what lies in it for me. i hate school, i hate my relationship how it is right now, i hate that i dont know what makes me happy in life enough to persue as a career, i hate that i rely too much on other people for my happiness, but i cant help it. im unstable. i cant get my barrings.
on the bright, but also sad side, if there really is one, at work today, i saw a cousin of one of my friends who i havent heard from in a while, and apparently he has moved. im not sure where, but im pretty sure she said that he's still in town. but he's never online and i now have no way of calling him. so sad!
JON NALLEY CALL ME YOU S.O.B!!!!!!! (649-5929)
sometimes i feel like i should give those other guys a chance that seem like nice guys and treat women right. but then i think, well they might be awesome in the beginning, but then they turn out just like the one youve got, so whats the point? why not just make it work with the one youve got? i dont trust love... i dont think i ever really have, but ive just kinda gone with the flow. i dont know how that comes off, but i dont know how to word it any differently. i just know that love failed my parents and that i dont want to end up like them. im scared as hell of it all because of that.
i dont want to waste my time in a relationship that may eventually not work if i never get to see the guy im dating in the process. im just scared of the future and what lies in it for me. i hate school, i hate my relationship how it is right now, i hate that i dont know what makes me happy in life enough to persue as a career, i hate that i rely too much on other people for my happiness, but i cant help it. im unstable. i cant get my barrings.
on the bright, but also sad side, if there really is one, at work today, i saw a cousin of one of my friends who i havent heard from in a while, and apparently he has moved. im not sure where, but im pretty sure she said that he's still in town. but he's never online and i now have no way of calling him. so sad!
JON NALLEY CALL ME YOU S.O.B!!!!!!! (649-5929)