(no subject)
Ugh I don't like this.
I think Ryan and Tessie are gonna start hanging out again. That may not seem like a big deal, and I don't want it to be, but it hurts, a lot. I really liked him when that whole thing happened..it was like he liked me, then he just switched to her. Then when she went back to her boyfriend..he came back to me. It seemed kind of like since he couldn't have her, he would take me. I dunno, that's just how it felt. I had to look at those away messages he had up every day, the "Tessie I'm always thinkin about you, hope you have a great day babe!" and all that stuff. I seriously just don't think he gets how much he hurt me. I liked him a lot so I tried to forget about the whole Tessie thing, but I couldn't. I still think about it alllllll the time and still cry about it sometimes, even though we're going out now. Now he wants to hang out with her and says I shouldn't worry about it, but how can I not? I lost him to her once, and I don't want it to happen again. I don't want to be controlling and be like "No you can't hang out with her" but I'm so afraid it's gonna happen again. I've always felt like I come second best to her and I've never even met her. I wish the whole thing had never happened, but no matter what happens I can't forget about her. I'm gonna be upset about the whole thing no matter what happens, if they hang out or if they don't, it doesnt matter. So I guess he might as well do it..
I think Ryan and Tessie are gonna start hanging out again. That may not seem like a big deal, and I don't want it to be, but it hurts, a lot. I really liked him when that whole thing happened..it was like he liked me, then he just switched to her. Then when she went back to her boyfriend..he came back to me. It seemed kind of like since he couldn't have her, he would take me. I dunno, that's just how it felt. I had to look at those away messages he had up every day, the "Tessie I'm always thinkin about you, hope you have a great day babe!" and all that stuff. I seriously just don't think he gets how much he hurt me. I liked him a lot so I tried to forget about the whole Tessie thing, but I couldn't. I still think about it alllllll the time and still cry about it sometimes, even though we're going out now. Now he wants to hang out with her and says I shouldn't worry about it, but how can I not? I lost him to her once, and I don't want it to happen again. I don't want to be controlling and be like "No you can't hang out with her" but I'm so afraid it's gonna happen again. I've always felt like I come second best to her and I've never even met her. I wish the whole thing had never happened, but no matter what happens I can't forget about her. I'm gonna be upset about the whole thing no matter what happens, if they hang out or if they don't, it doesnt matter. So I guess he might as well do it..