Scientific Coffee

Sep 03, 2008 22:33

A couple days ago, chronovore made a post regarding viennese triple cold brewing.  I looked around my kitchen and decided that I had most of the important labware necessary to conduct this experiment.  This was worthwhile because the process claims to extract 100% of the caffiene with minimal acidity courtesy of using cold water rather than hot.  The directions which I pulled from teh interwubs instructed me to do the following:

1) Get a pound of coffee (I chose Colombian medium roast)
2) Give it a nice medium grind
3) Steep it in 9 cups of cold water for 12-24 hours
4) Strain and serve diluted 3:1 or 4:1 with water or milk

The first important question was "How do I get a coffee filter into my separatory funnels?"  This sticking point and the more important one of pressure cementing of the coffee in the tip of the funnel made preparation difficult.  See below:



The true glory was met by the third iteration of the experiment where I put the grind in a 4L Erlenmeyer flask, covered with a watch glass, and let it sit on the counter for a day.  Batch 3 was by far the most potent.  By my calculations, I produced the equivalent of 145 cups of conventional coffee worth of caffiene in 5.7 cups of volume.  I am terrified by the idea of passing Batch 3 through this entire process two more times to achieve the coffee chronovore had.

The results of one pass, undiluted, were remarkable:

Subject 1, blark, consumed samples of Batches 1, 2, and 3 showing wakefulness but no other untoward effects.  He declared the coffee to be "tasty".

Subject 2, Astro Mike, who consumed Batch 3, was similarly unphased.

Subject 3, _bats_, had several sips of Batch 3 prior to breakfast with two cups of Baker's Square coffee and followed it with the remainder of the Batch 3 mug upon return.  _bats_  entered a state of hyperactivity requiring "walkies" outside, rapid speech, and much bouncing from one foot to another prior to complete burnout and crash for a period of an hour.  Full recovery was made within three hours.

Subject 4,
elonwy_h , had 1/4 of a cup of Batch 3 upon arrival at my house, though anectodal evidence suggests she had consumed 3 cups of "Big Island Style" coffee in the morning beforehand.  She exhibited hypervigilance, emitting high pitched yelps and squeaks at the slightest noise or startling movement.  She too showed the nervous energy of _bats_ with similar crash, though not as severe.

Subject 5, my father, added his 100mL of Batch 3 to his half empty cup of coffee as a top off.  No noticable effects.  He described the coffee as "good".

Strangley, both _bats_ and
elonwy_h reported a sensation of time contraction where four hours of elapsed time seemed to be no more than one hour of subjective time, tops.

I need an NSF grant for further exploration.  There seems to be some kind of sex linked trait going on here.

black blood of the earth, coffee, test subjects, science!

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