Berkeley: Day 1
0645: I have discovered a previously unknown psychological phenomenon. I call it Phantom Gas Pedal. No matter how hard I try, I cannot make the train go any faster when it comes to a stop for an unknown reason for the second and third times.
0911: Due to the fact that I am the fourth person named Phil in this department (out of sixty), I was asked if I had any nicknames. I suggested resurrecting my Pole name, Cryo. The alternative nickname, Commodore, seemed inappropriate to explain to a room of strangers on my first day at work. I am unaccustomed to there being more than one Phil in a group of less than a 500.
1237: A member of Greenpeace asks me if I would like to sign a petition to stop all hunting, scientific, aboriginal, or otherwise, of whales. I ask, "Why would I want to do that? They're delicious." When she begins a sputtering rage at my flippancy I stop her with the statement and question, "I've tasted whale steak. Have you? Whaling for oil is pointless, but maybe you should see what you're going to deprive several cultures of before you try to ban them as food." Activism remains is impervious to thought. One would have to stop talking in order to listen.
1422: That room absolutely should not be used for radioactive anything. No. I will fix this as soon as I get an employee number so that I can operate a computer.
0911: Due to the fact that I am the fourth person named Phil in this department (out of sixty), I was asked if I had any nicknames. I suggested resurrecting my Pole name, Cryo. The alternative nickname, Commodore, seemed inappropriate to explain to a room of strangers on my first day at work. I am unaccustomed to there being more than one Phil in a group of less than a 500.
1237: A member of Greenpeace asks me if I would like to sign a petition to stop all hunting, scientific, aboriginal, or otherwise, of whales. I ask, "Why would I want to do that? They're delicious." When she begins a sputtering rage at my flippancy I stop her with the statement and question, "I've tasted whale steak. Have you? Whaling for oil is pointless, but maybe you should see what you're going to deprive several cultures of before you try to ban them as food." Activism remains is impervious to thought. One would have to stop talking in order to listen.
1422: That room absolutely should not be used for radioactive anything. No. I will fix this as soon as I get an employee number so that I can operate a computer.