but i still havent found what im looking for...randomness
this entire entry has no relevance to anything, any thoughts in my head will be coming out now since i havent had power in awhile...enjoy
ive just realized that my entire circle of friends has completely changed in the past year. people that i never thought i had anything in common with are now my best friends. Elise.i have changed so much in the past year, but im still not happy with who i am, i still want to change, i just dont know what i want to change into.
im really happy with the friends i have, but sometimes i just dont know what exactly they see in me cuz i dont really see anything in me, hence the reason for me wanting to change. Elise.i want to be more sophisticated, i want to have confidence in myself, and i want to be loved, really and truly loved.
Well, enough of my complaining, and on to my other realization that i think is superduper cool and will help me get through the next 2 years!
okay, so my mom yesterday started getting mad at me in the car and i hate it when she yells at me in the car cuz i cant escape, i think she does it on purpose. Elise.well this really good song came on and i wanted to sing but i wanted to make her feel bad for yelling at me so i just wanted to be upset, i wanted her to know i was really upset. then i realized that i can be upset on the outside, but have a party in my head! So, while in the car im like singing and dancing and loosing control, but all on the inside, it was loads of fun, i felt so cool. Elise.i feel like a retard now but i know everyone will start doing it...u know u want too!
My mom yesterday started talking about college with me and said how old she is going to feel when i leave. Then she said something that really freaked me out "you know carissa i really hope that we stay close when you go away"...wtf is she talking about i think to myself? Elise.what kind of relationship does she think we have, cuz the last time i checked we rarely talked and when we did we were yelling at eachother, and the only way she finds things out are when im talking to my dad and shes there. and whats really coincidental is that i had that same feeling toward someone else this week. do people think that they have better relationships with me then i let on? is it b/c i dont tell people when im mad at them so they think everything is honkey dorey? what kind of relationship do i have with people?...that lady(my mother) has confused the hell out of me
thats 5 elise's for ya! <3 ya elise!
ive just realized that my entire circle of friends has completely changed in the past year. people that i never thought i had anything in common with are now my best friends. Elise.i have changed so much in the past year, but im still not happy with who i am, i still want to change, i just dont know what i want to change into.
im really happy with the friends i have, but sometimes i just dont know what exactly they see in me cuz i dont really see anything in me, hence the reason for me wanting to change. Elise.i want to be more sophisticated, i want to have confidence in myself, and i want to be loved, really and truly loved.
Well, enough of my complaining, and on to my other realization that i think is superduper cool and will help me get through the next 2 years!
okay, so my mom yesterday started getting mad at me in the car and i hate it when she yells at me in the car cuz i cant escape, i think she does it on purpose. Elise.well this really good song came on and i wanted to sing but i wanted to make her feel bad for yelling at me so i just wanted to be upset, i wanted her to know i was really upset. then i realized that i can be upset on the outside, but have a party in my head! So, while in the car im like singing and dancing and loosing control, but all on the inside, it was loads of fun, i felt so cool. Elise.i feel like a retard now but i know everyone will start doing it...u know u want too!
My mom yesterday started talking about college with me and said how old she is going to feel when i leave. Then she said something that really freaked me out "you know carissa i really hope that we stay close when you go away"...wtf is she talking about i think to myself? Elise.what kind of relationship does she think we have, cuz the last time i checked we rarely talked and when we did we were yelling at eachother, and the only way she finds things out are when im talking to my dad and shes there. and whats really coincidental is that i had that same feeling toward someone else this week. do people think that they have better relationships with me then i let on? is it b/c i dont tell people when im mad at them so they think everything is honkey dorey? what kind of relationship do i have with people?...that lady(my mother) has confused the hell out of me
thats 5 elise's for ya! <3 ya elise!