Hey, Professor, what's another name for idiot?
If I were my boss I would fire me.
Sometimes I wish that our internet access and email would crash and burn in a fiery wreck so I could finally get some work done around here. But how can I work when all the compiled information of the world's geeks and obsessives is laid out before me? How can I work, when I can read about the origin of Gummi products in Germany? Or when I can read movie reviews by a fat recluse I don't even know or have ever heard of? Or when I can read lousy diary entries filled with bad poetry and cliched angst? How, I ask you?
I would love to see a study that details just how much productivity in labor-hours is being lost to the internet and email on company time.
But it's not all bad. After all, I discovered LiveJournal.
Anyway, can we talk about dumb teachers for just a moment? My teacher for Writing the Sitcom is a smart, talented individual. He wrote for an HBO show, for a few years, and also was on staff at a fabous NBC Thursday line up show back then, you know, back when it was good and America loved it.
But, he pissed me off yesterday. He asked me to write an episode of a sitcom currently airing. My dream show is The Simpsons, so I'm writing an episode.
My teacher "didn't get" my episode.
This man knows sitcoms. Like I said, he wrote for two shows, and currently has three screenplays optioned. Without getting too technical, the Simpson's is a show in three acts, whereas most sitcoms are two acts. He knows this. He fucking TAUGHT me this.
Now, as most people who watch the Simspons's know, the show doesn't have what's called a 'teaser' like other sitcoms, where there's a little minute long bit and then a commercial and then were back into the show. The Simpsons's differs in that three or four minutes at the top of the show are devoted to a little sub story that introduces the main story, but then has nothing more to do with the episode. Last week, I warned him in advance about this, figuring that he would know that anyway, but still hedging my bets against the scenario that evolved yesterday.
He wondered where my story was going. Said that my action wasn't clear. Was confused as to why I was doing all this set-up, if it had nothing to do with anything else.
This man said "I was a Simpson's fanatic for a few years, but then I stopped watching the show."
I have problems with this on so many levels.
First of all, there are two types of people in this world: Those who love the Simpson's mightily, and those who could never watch another episode and be just fine. I don't think you can be a fanatic of this show, and then stop watching it. You can complain about the quality of it in recent years, but you cannot stop watching it like it was Spin City or something, if you were ever a true fanatic.
Secondly, you can't be a fanatic if you get Principal Skinner confused with Mr. Burns. Which he did. You can't do that even if you're a former fanatic.
Finally, he had to ask his 10 year old son whether this was a good episode and he was just missing something. The kid responded that it was 'classic Simpsons' and that episodes always start this way and that he was indeed missing something. Ah, vindication. He finally accepted that he may have been wrong about what he said, and then proceeded to give me notes on writing and structure that I could actually use.
Other than that, I nailed it. My Ralph was very Ralph and my Bart was very Bart and I can't wait until I get to Homer's part.
Don't mess with my Simspon's episode, teach.