Another Day
Another day of feeling lost and lonely. Another day of feeling frustrated and misunderstood. Another day of feeling separated from who I am and who I am supposed to be. I have felt so separate from the one that I love and whom I should love the most. By my life, actions and words, I have separated myself from Him. I have created a barrier that at many times I feel is too deep and wide to cross back over. This leads me to a feeling of hopelessness and sadness. It worries me that by my choices I have created an obstacle that prevents me from living out my calling. I know God is faithful, the only problem is it seems I cannot be faithful to Him. I know for me nothing will go right as long as I am seperated from Him. I am thankful for the good friends I have. I am saddened by the bad friends I have and the lack of control I have at controlling those friendships. I am controlled by the negative attitudes and actions of these people and it leaves me drained, bitter and cynical towards everything, even the good. My prayer for tomorrow is that it is not just "another day". I pray that I may find reconciliation with those whom I need to reconcile with. I pray that I find a hope towards moving myself out of this state of life I find myself in. I pray that I leave all the ungodly qualities behind, though it may cost me the friendship of some. God can free me from all this, all I have to do is let him. Letting God free me is the hardest task that for some reason I cannot accomplish.