(no subject)
Ok I haven't posted in a while so I might as well catch you guys up. Nothing is really going on with me lol. I just work and work and work and work and then work some more. It will pay off in the end I know that much. Ok so there's that update. I am very anti-love and relationships right now. I hate that Valentine's Day is coming and I have no one. I think that's what has spurred my sudden downward spiral of I hate love. I want so much to be with the one I truly love and is my soulmate but for some reason God does not want me with him at this point in time. BUT! They always say that good things come to those who wait....so I'm waiting and I don't care if I wait a million years just to get to spend one day even one minute with him and then never see him again would make my life complete. I honestly think I will never get over John. I mean here is a man who is everything I could ever ask for and more...our personalities compliment each other to a tee and yet we can't be together because of a minor set back which I don't wish to say on here but most of you know what it is. I just miss him so much. All of our conversations and just our "times." I am going to Hawaii and I don't care what it takes but I'm getting myself there so I can enjoy myself for however many days I decide to stay. I hope my time there is good and I know at least one day will be cuz it will be the day I get to see John...and if I get to see him more than one day then great if not then so be it. I'm not going to push anything or pressure him cuz I know how his situation is. I just hate the fact that for some reason an act of God stands between me and my soulmate. Maybe it's a sign we're not meant to be together right now or maybe not even at all but I don't believe the second part of what I said. haha. I'm a dork I know this. RARARARARAR! Why does God think it's awesome to hand me these deck of cards in my life? Why can't a nice girl who has a great personality and is fun to be around not find a partner? lol I mean yes I know this world is vain and shallow but I don't think I'm at the bottom of the barrel. Maybe I am and I just am telling myself I'm not ugly lol hahahah who knows. My mind is a mess right now. All my friends tell me it's great that I've lost so much weight and that they can tell and I look good blah blah blah. I dunno if I really believe them or not....not that I think my friends would lie to me it's just I dunno. Sorry for my flustered scatterbrained mess I'm typing on here. I think I just had a lot of unfinished thoughts in my head I needed to get out thus I came to my LJ! Anyways I have to go work out so I can feel better hopefully! <3