Update
"You must learn to let go of the moment,
that life has taught you to hold."
- The Hobbit(the greatest movie ever made)
So much to write, and only one place to begin. I've neglected my journals and now the time has come to pay my dues. I read much, bore wittness to changes in trends and changes in thoughts. Many a complex thought and many a man's inner feelings strewn upon the electronic pages of the online journal. Thoughts and Rent songs pass through my head, but I'm a simple man, writing as artistic as he can. Maybe for the fun of it, maybe to sound deep like his compatriots, maybe to fool him into believing that he has some depth. He is me, and I am he. It sounds cool, though you all could already tell exactly what I meant. Alot of sad notes, we all seem to write in sadness. Maybe it's society, and we just can voice our hurts and sadnesses in the semi-privacy afforded by the journal. Maybe we do it because we know those who are close can read it, and maybe in a non-confrontational way tell them how we feel, how we don't feel, how we wish. I like the look of letters appearing on the screen as fast as I type, it seems magic to my ignorant eyes. ( utter crap, but what I truly think)
The tab button needs to work on the journal, I want to indent, but am without the ability to. yes but, who, mark, are YOOOOOOOU! this is a random paragraph don't read the next one.
I don't want to sleep, maybe ever. I want to stay up into an eternal night as I contimplate things. As I learn to accept the inevitable devisions from all my friends, the progressive march towards unpleasant and pleasant changes. We can't stop it ever, so learn to love it joel. Everyone is leading thier own lives, they march on, with or without me. I talked to my old friend mike, and he has pretty much an all grown up life now. He has a career, an apartment, a roomate, responsabilities. These things are normal for people his age, but I guess, I just registered him as a tall and college educated 18 year-old. Just like james and nate are 18 year old seniors, just like mel, or laurie, or anyone. Hmmm, everyone going off, living thier lives without me. One of my biggest fears I suppose, I always want to become best friends with all my friends, I always want to spend time, all my time, with all my friends, but each of them alone. And on top of that, I want to keep my life wrapped around my best friend. I guess an air-hockey table is just a tad more fessible.
Why heart, do you want two opposites at all times? You want no material goods, excepting two boardish games. You'd be ocntent forever. But at the same time you want everything you see, from capsella to anime. You want everybody forever, well you only get a few people for a little while.
The hobbit is a great movie. It is beyond compare to other films. I remeber with a heavy heart what is now easily my favorit scence, I'll describe it for the rest of the paragraph, if you don't care, skip this one. The battle for lonely mountain is complete. Bilbo has sat and observed the war between the man-dwarf-elves and the goblins. He has saw with his eyes carnage, and sat invisible to all, and seen greed's destructive power. Bombin, a dwarf friend of bilbo's staggers near him, and nearly passes out. Bilbo removes thering and quickly aids his friend, he inquires about the battle and finds out it is over and they are victorious. He then speaks with Gandolf who informs him that Thorin is laying on his death bed, gasping his last breaths. The hobbit is reunited with the king of the mountain. They exchange sad farewells, here's an exerpt from my memory, "Child of the kindly west, I was wrong to call you a coward. You were right about war, it was I who did not understand it. If more people valued your ways, good cheer and friendship, instead of horded gold treasures, this world would be a merrier place. But merry or sad, I leave this world." IT's a beautiful scene, which makes me sad and happy.
I've grown sad from thoughts about the hobbit, and so now I shall write my final thoughts of this evening before begining on serious work and sleep.
Nathan, feel not the sadness and despair you write. For what it is worth, you have devoted friends. You have those around you who would crumple into a dispairing ball, if you embraced the darkness. It's a sad fate we must all do so, when life is as sweet as it is, and fellowship as rich as it can be. Drink from life what you will, and pass what you don't want. Become a swordsmith, see your friends, take pleasure in what you enjoy and value in what life has to offer. Run away to college with us. There's more to be said, but I don't know how to say it.
James, I pair you always with nathan. As surely as I pair drew qith tiffany, sam with eric, peanut butter with jelly, brad with sean, and green eggs with ham. James, I fear I don;t understand much about you, and trying to seems to avail me nothing, so I shall recognize you as an incomprhensible enigm, lke microwave ovens. I won;t give you an element, or a plant, I won't consider your flavor of ice cream, I'll merely note that I can't understand you. Not that I understand people, at all. So maybe, if your offended, you shouldn't people. I don't understand much of anything, a few things maybe, if they are simple enough. I hope that you sir are happy as much as a person can be. Have peace, have wisdom, these are things that in life, one can not easily gain through pursuit, or someting, I don;t know.
Brittany, I always gel guilty writing you first, but I always have something in my head planning what I'll write for you. It clashes with the thought by thought process of the lnline journal, but everybody writes so random, at least I can try to introduce some structure. Your a great kiddo, I wish life treated you a little more fairly. It makes no sense, you've got such a shining promise and life gives you a lot of random bad twists of fate. Maye to test you, maybe the greater the person the harder thier fate, your luck goes down as your skill goes up. Sounds fair, but it doesn't seem it in practice. DOn't worry brittany, I'll get a job where I'm happy. I'll be everything you want. Or maybe I'll always be me, and kind of be like a fish with only one fin. I swim in circles, maybe that's joel's eternal style. But I'll try hard as hell to go straight, even so.
Tyler, you should shed the sadness and angst and austere writings that we three fellows choose. Nathan, James and I all write depressing little entries about how we don't fear death and how life is pointless like the delightful teenaged cynics we are, with each of us having interesting spins on our views depending on our own unique qualities, but essentialy the same message. You don't want ot do that, it's not very fulfilling, on the rare occasion it can be prolific and wonderful, but I find it dull and lacking mostly. Dare to be different,wite ironicaly, write sarcasticly, write jovialy, write without a depressing message at all woven into your entry. I never liked the mainstream thing, I never liked the main characters. Goku, I hate his guts, give me yamtcha. Rohin, he was crap, give me sage with the power of halo. Nobody likes the brave leader, or rather everybody does, so it becomes lame to do so. If you get my drift nod twice. No? Oh well, I tried. Sheath your sword and take on a project. Might I suggest flight, it's a wonderful beautiful thing. Flgith is a heavenly endevour, even if it's a five dollar glider from the teacher store in monticello market place, or even if it's a 100 dollar rc controlled airplane. Flight is good, try it, just once.
Brad, We've been friends so long, what do I say? I think since we grew apart we also grew different, I don't know if we can ever be the same, your so refine and intelligent, I'm still so juvinille. I want to be a kid forever, but it's a sad life being the only kid you know. I had enough of that when I really was a kid, I was hoping being grown up I'd have some friends who were too. Oh well, I hope I never piss you off.
I don't feel like writing any more people, or too them or about them. Or even rambling randomly. I feel like listening to the hum of my fan, and sitting in a chair, and writing a story. But not about anything, just writing to hear the clack of the keyboard and the idea of being imerrsed in a long, and very specific length of work.
I love you my friends, I truly love you. Without you all, I think life would be a long job with a few material goods I buy with the income. Ich liebe leben, Ich lebe lieben.
Joel
that life has taught you to hold."
- The Hobbit(the greatest movie ever made)
So much to write, and only one place to begin. I've neglected my journals and now the time has come to pay my dues. I read much, bore wittness to changes in trends and changes in thoughts. Many a complex thought and many a man's inner feelings strewn upon the electronic pages of the online journal. Thoughts and Rent songs pass through my head, but I'm a simple man, writing as artistic as he can. Maybe for the fun of it, maybe to sound deep like his compatriots, maybe to fool him into believing that he has some depth. He is me, and I am he. It sounds cool, though you all could already tell exactly what I meant. Alot of sad notes, we all seem to write in sadness. Maybe it's society, and we just can voice our hurts and sadnesses in the semi-privacy afforded by the journal. Maybe we do it because we know those who are close can read it, and maybe in a non-confrontational way tell them how we feel, how we don't feel, how we wish. I like the look of letters appearing on the screen as fast as I type, it seems magic to my ignorant eyes. ( utter crap, but what I truly think)
The tab button needs to work on the journal, I want to indent, but am without the ability to. yes but, who, mark, are YOOOOOOOU! this is a random paragraph don't read the next one.
I don't want to sleep, maybe ever. I want to stay up into an eternal night as I contimplate things. As I learn to accept the inevitable devisions from all my friends, the progressive march towards unpleasant and pleasant changes. We can't stop it ever, so learn to love it joel. Everyone is leading thier own lives, they march on, with or without me. I talked to my old friend mike, and he has pretty much an all grown up life now. He has a career, an apartment, a roomate, responsabilities. These things are normal for people his age, but I guess, I just registered him as a tall and college educated 18 year-old. Just like james and nate are 18 year old seniors, just like mel, or laurie, or anyone. Hmmm, everyone going off, living thier lives without me. One of my biggest fears I suppose, I always want to become best friends with all my friends, I always want to spend time, all my time, with all my friends, but each of them alone. And on top of that, I want to keep my life wrapped around my best friend. I guess an air-hockey table is just a tad more fessible.
Why heart, do you want two opposites at all times? You want no material goods, excepting two boardish games. You'd be ocntent forever. But at the same time you want everything you see, from capsella to anime. You want everybody forever, well you only get a few people for a little while.
The hobbit is a great movie. It is beyond compare to other films. I remeber with a heavy heart what is now easily my favorit scence, I'll describe it for the rest of the paragraph, if you don't care, skip this one. The battle for lonely mountain is complete. Bilbo has sat and observed the war between the man-dwarf-elves and the goblins. He has saw with his eyes carnage, and sat invisible to all, and seen greed's destructive power. Bombin, a dwarf friend of bilbo's staggers near him, and nearly passes out. Bilbo removes thering and quickly aids his friend, he inquires about the battle and finds out it is over and they are victorious. He then speaks with Gandolf who informs him that Thorin is laying on his death bed, gasping his last breaths. The hobbit is reunited with the king of the mountain. They exchange sad farewells, here's an exerpt from my memory, "Child of the kindly west, I was wrong to call you a coward. You were right about war, it was I who did not understand it. If more people valued your ways, good cheer and friendship, instead of horded gold treasures, this world would be a merrier place. But merry or sad, I leave this world." IT's a beautiful scene, which makes me sad and happy.
I've grown sad from thoughts about the hobbit, and so now I shall write my final thoughts of this evening before begining on serious work and sleep.
Nathan, feel not the sadness and despair you write. For what it is worth, you have devoted friends. You have those around you who would crumple into a dispairing ball, if you embraced the darkness. It's a sad fate we must all do so, when life is as sweet as it is, and fellowship as rich as it can be. Drink from life what you will, and pass what you don't want. Become a swordsmith, see your friends, take pleasure in what you enjoy and value in what life has to offer. Run away to college with us. There's more to be said, but I don't know how to say it.
James, I pair you always with nathan. As surely as I pair drew qith tiffany, sam with eric, peanut butter with jelly, brad with sean, and green eggs with ham. James, I fear I don;t understand much about you, and trying to seems to avail me nothing, so I shall recognize you as an incomprhensible enigm, lke microwave ovens. I won;t give you an element, or a plant, I won't consider your flavor of ice cream, I'll merely note that I can't understand you. Not that I understand people, at all. So maybe, if your offended, you shouldn't people. I don't understand much of anything, a few things maybe, if they are simple enough. I hope that you sir are happy as much as a person can be. Have peace, have wisdom, these are things that in life, one can not easily gain through pursuit, or someting, I don;t know.
Brittany, I always gel guilty writing you first, but I always have something in my head planning what I'll write for you. It clashes with the thought by thought process of the lnline journal, but everybody writes so random, at least I can try to introduce some structure. Your a great kiddo, I wish life treated you a little more fairly. It makes no sense, you've got such a shining promise and life gives you a lot of random bad twists of fate. Maye to test you, maybe the greater the person the harder thier fate, your luck goes down as your skill goes up. Sounds fair, but it doesn't seem it in practice. DOn't worry brittany, I'll get a job where I'm happy. I'll be everything you want. Or maybe I'll always be me, and kind of be like a fish with only one fin. I swim in circles, maybe that's joel's eternal style. But I'll try hard as hell to go straight, even so.
Tyler, you should shed the sadness and angst and austere writings that we three fellows choose. Nathan, James and I all write depressing little entries about how we don't fear death and how life is pointless like the delightful teenaged cynics we are, with each of us having interesting spins on our views depending on our own unique qualities, but essentialy the same message. You don't want ot do that, it's not very fulfilling, on the rare occasion it can be prolific and wonderful, but I find it dull and lacking mostly. Dare to be different,wite ironicaly, write sarcasticly, write jovialy, write without a depressing message at all woven into your entry. I never liked the mainstream thing, I never liked the main characters. Goku, I hate his guts, give me yamtcha. Rohin, he was crap, give me sage with the power of halo. Nobody likes the brave leader, or rather everybody does, so it becomes lame to do so. If you get my drift nod twice. No? Oh well, I tried. Sheath your sword and take on a project. Might I suggest flight, it's a wonderful beautiful thing. Flgith is a heavenly endevour, even if it's a five dollar glider from the teacher store in monticello market place, or even if it's a 100 dollar rc controlled airplane. Flight is good, try it, just once.
Brad, We've been friends so long, what do I say? I think since we grew apart we also grew different, I don't know if we can ever be the same, your so refine and intelligent, I'm still so juvinille. I want to be a kid forever, but it's a sad life being the only kid you know. I had enough of that when I really was a kid, I was hoping being grown up I'd have some friends who were too. Oh well, I hope I never piss you off.
I don't feel like writing any more people, or too them or about them. Or even rambling randomly. I feel like listening to the hum of my fan, and sitting in a chair, and writing a story. But not about anything, just writing to hear the clack of the keyboard and the idea of being imerrsed in a long, and very specific length of work.
I love you my friends, I truly love you. Without you all, I think life would be a long job with a few material goods I buy with the income. Ich liebe leben, Ich lebe lieben.
Joel