My 'Dramatic Theory' Final
I gots a 100% on dis shiz. Hands down the easiest final in the history of finals!
A two page play, based on an argument between Roy and Ed, narrarated by Al, and sealed with a Kiss!
-Goodie goodie gumdrops :)
AL: (voiceover)My brother has never been what you'd call a level-headed person...ever. But sometimes he can take his ranting too far. And he picked the wrong person when he decided to mess with colonel Mustang. I won't say he didn't deserve it, but the Colonel did get a bit carried away too...
Here's what happened:
(Stage lights with a dark haired man sitting behind a desk with pile of unfinished paperwork looking bored, when a short, ill tempered, blonde teen bursts into his office)
ED:(Enters)Yeah? You called?
ROY:Yes, Fullmetal...I've had some problems with your reports...
ED:Like what?(crosses arms)
ROY:Well, for one, everything in the damage portion of the report is illegible, except for the amount I'm going to have to pay to fix what you destroyed. And for another, you've been given a budget, which you constantly ignore--
ED:(interrupts) Yeah? Well if you ever sent me only a mission that was worth my time, and had any significance whatsoever, I might not be tempted to blow my money on something to eat, somewhere to sleep, and something worthwhile to do!!!!!
ROY:(sighs, and speaks in a monotone)I have no doubt that you're upset, but I, and the military for that matter, can't afford to keep paying your bills!
ED: Paying my bills? More like I pay yours!!!!! If it weren't for me, you'd never have been promoted!
ROY:You did play a great part in my promotion, but I assure you, it would have only been a short matter of time before I was a colonel either way.
ED:WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE COULD RIDE ON THE BACK OF A GRASSHOPPER!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
ROY: I never said anything of the sort. I just think---
ED:(Interrupts again)YOU KNOW WHAT? SHOVE IT! Call me when you've got something important for me to do around here.(Exits)
ROY:(to himself)Ungrateful brat...
AL:(voiceover) You think that's be the end of it. But the colonel doesn't get mad...he gets even...
ROY:(on the phone with someone offstage)Yes, Hughes? Could you send for everyone? Yes, yes, I'd love to see the pictures when you get here...Yes, send for Fullmetal too...but only once you've called everyone else....I understad that your child learning to ride a bike is exciting but---OKAY, OKAY! BRING THE PICTURES, JUST GET EVERYONE DOWN HERE IMMEDIATELY!(throws phone into cradle)
(Mustangs subordinates file into his office, followed by Hughes, bearing a photo album and a camera, and Ed, who is trying to look bored)
ROY: Alright everyone...As you may have guessed, I have an announcement.(waits for complete silence) Edward Elric is resigning from the military...
ED and Group: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?
ROY:Yes, I know, it's sad to hear...but at the same time, I have some wonderful news... Edward is resigning from the military because...he and I are getting married!
ED and Group:WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!
ROY:(Shrugs)We just can't hide our love anymore!(Scoops Ed up and kisses him on the cheek as Hughes takes a picture)
ED:AHGGHGHHGHGHGH!!!!! PUT ME DOWN YOU LIAR!!!
ROY: Oh, he's just embarassed...(kisses him again, but ED kicks him in the stomach and he drops him)
ED: THAT'S IT!!!!! FIRST HE WRITES ME CREEPY STORIES ABOUT US DOING DIRTY THINGS, THEN THE DIRTY, OUT OF CHARACTER MANGA, NOW THIS?????? Screw you guys, I have a restraining order to fill out!(runs offstage in a panic)
ROY:(Laughing Hysterically) Hope it's more legible than your last report!!!
(everyone but Hughes files out of ROY's office)
HUGHES:Uh, you know, Roy, if you announce something like that, your word pretty much becomes law.
ROY:So...did I really just force Ed to resign from the military?
HUGHES: Well, no... but as far as we're concerned, you're engaged now. And..(waves camera)I've got the pictures to proove it.(Runs offstage laughing)
ROY: HUGHES!!! COME BACK HERE!!!(follows him)
AL: And so, for three months, the entire military thought My brother and Colonel Mustang were engaged. It turns out...a proclomation like that forced them to be! But Ed and Roy are quite content now.
(Stage lights on ROY lying in a bed arms folded behind his head)
ROY: You, can come out now.
ED:(offstage) is this really necessary???
ROY: It was your idea.
ED:I was kidding!!!!
ROY:Well, you might as well get it over with.
ED:(enters in a miniskirt version of Roy's old uniform)I hate you.
ROY:I don't care. Now, Dance.
ED:But...
ROY:DANCE I SAID!!!
ED:(sighs and begins pole dancing to 'Candy Man' by Christina Auguleira)
ROY: Life is good...
(fade out)
THE END!!!!
dedicated to-
nochick_fics
A two page play, based on an argument between Roy and Ed, narrarated by Al, and sealed with a Kiss!
-Goodie goodie gumdrops :)
AL: (voiceover)My brother has never been what you'd call a level-headed person...ever. But sometimes he can take his ranting too far. And he picked the wrong person when he decided to mess with colonel Mustang. I won't say he didn't deserve it, but the Colonel did get a bit carried away too...
Here's what happened:
(Stage lights with a dark haired man sitting behind a desk with pile of unfinished paperwork looking bored, when a short, ill tempered, blonde teen bursts into his office)
ED:(Enters)Yeah? You called?
ROY:Yes, Fullmetal...I've had some problems with your reports...
ED:Like what?(crosses arms)
ROY:Well, for one, everything in the damage portion of the report is illegible, except for the amount I'm going to have to pay to fix what you destroyed. And for another, you've been given a budget, which you constantly ignore--
ED:(interrupts) Yeah? Well if you ever sent me only a mission that was worth my time, and had any significance whatsoever, I might not be tempted to blow my money on something to eat, somewhere to sleep, and something worthwhile to do!!!!!
ROY:(sighs, and speaks in a monotone)I have no doubt that you're upset, but I, and the military for that matter, can't afford to keep paying your bills!
ED: Paying my bills? More like I pay yours!!!!! If it weren't for me, you'd never have been promoted!
ROY:You did play a great part in my promotion, but I assure you, it would have only been a short matter of time before I was a colonel either way.
ED:WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE COULD RIDE ON THE BACK OF A GRASSHOPPER!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
ROY: I never said anything of the sort. I just think---
ED:(Interrupts again)YOU KNOW WHAT? SHOVE IT! Call me when you've got something important for me to do around here.(Exits)
ROY:(to himself)Ungrateful brat...
AL:(voiceover) You think that's be the end of it. But the colonel doesn't get mad...he gets even...
ROY:(on the phone with someone offstage)Yes, Hughes? Could you send for everyone? Yes, yes, I'd love to see the pictures when you get here...Yes, send for Fullmetal too...but only once you've called everyone else....I understad that your child learning to ride a bike is exciting but---OKAY, OKAY! BRING THE PICTURES, JUST GET EVERYONE DOWN HERE IMMEDIATELY!(throws phone into cradle)
(Mustangs subordinates file into his office, followed by Hughes, bearing a photo album and a camera, and Ed, who is trying to look bored)
ROY: Alright everyone...As you may have guessed, I have an announcement.(waits for complete silence) Edward Elric is resigning from the military...
ED and Group: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?
ROY:Yes, I know, it's sad to hear...but at the same time, I have some wonderful news... Edward is resigning from the military because...he and I are getting married!
ED and Group:WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!
ROY:(Shrugs)We just can't hide our love anymore!(Scoops Ed up and kisses him on the cheek as Hughes takes a picture)
ED:AHGGHGHHGHGHGH!!!!! PUT ME DOWN YOU LIAR!!!
ROY: Oh, he's just embarassed...(kisses him again, but ED kicks him in the stomach and he drops him)
ED: THAT'S IT!!!!! FIRST HE WRITES ME CREEPY STORIES ABOUT US DOING DIRTY THINGS, THEN THE DIRTY, OUT OF CHARACTER MANGA, NOW THIS?????? Screw you guys, I have a restraining order to fill out!(runs offstage in a panic)
ROY:(Laughing Hysterically) Hope it's more legible than your last report!!!
(everyone but Hughes files out of ROY's office)
HUGHES:Uh, you know, Roy, if you announce something like that, your word pretty much becomes law.
ROY:So...did I really just force Ed to resign from the military?
HUGHES: Well, no... but as far as we're concerned, you're engaged now. And..(waves camera)I've got the pictures to proove it.(Runs offstage laughing)
ROY: HUGHES!!! COME BACK HERE!!!(follows him)
AL: And so, for three months, the entire military thought My brother and Colonel Mustang were engaged. It turns out...a proclomation like that forced them to be! But Ed and Roy are quite content now.
(Stage lights on ROY lying in a bed arms folded behind his head)
ROY: You, can come out now.
ED:(offstage) is this really necessary???
ROY: It was your idea.
ED:I was kidding!!!!
ROY:Well, you might as well get it over with.
ED:(enters in a miniskirt version of Roy's old uniform)I hate you.
ROY:I don't care. Now, Dance.
ED:But...
ROY:DANCE I SAID!!!
ED:(sighs and begins pole dancing to 'Candy Man' by Christina Auguleira)
ROY: Life is good...
(fade out)
THE END!!!!
dedicated to-
nochick_fics