America Has Voted
I have long been an advocate of one man, one vote. I feel that whomever the people vote in, that person should be president. The people have spoken, and so now we will have a President Trump. Those are the facts of the matter, and they cannot, and should not be disputed.
But feelings cannot be turned off with the flip of a switch. I am not going to cry or whine. I will not point fingers and lay blame. I will not threaten with odes of a dark future.
But I will be honest.
I voted for Hillary Clinton, and I'm heartbroken that she didn't win. I'm not heartbroken because my candidate lost, but because her vision of America is not the one that the majority of Americans share. I'm heartbroken that that my vision, which so closely matches hers, was rejected. I'm heartbroken because I have legitimate fears over what will happen to my family, and to those I care deeply about.
(EDIT: I was under the impression that Hilliary had lost the popular vote at the time of writing. Now that the complete vote is in, her amazing popularity vote win is heartwrenchingly beautiful. I'm glad to see the majority was with her.)
More than anything else, I'm deeply confused. My family has been in America a long, long time. My ancestor came here from England to build a new life for himself. I don't know a lot about him, but I can tell you Robert came here not long after the first pilgrims landed. I can tell you that he was an indentured servant, and when he had worked off his bond, he was rewarded with land. His family grew, and the life they lived was very prosperous.
America has always been good to my family and I. Probably because of that, I've always been immensely patriotic. I love the 4th of July, and am proud that my family has fought in every war from the Revolutionary War to the Iraq War. My freedoms have been paid for with the blood of my forefathers, and our flag has been painted with it.
Today, I don't feel patriotic.
Today, I feel ashamed, because the America I love, the America I grew up in, the America I see forming around me... this is not the America that the people have chosen.
Why?
What do I do now?
My daughter asked if we could move to Canada. Apparently, many are like-minded, as the Canadian immigration website crashed. The idea has merit, but in all honesty, I can't leave. Our blended family means I'd have to give up custody to move, and that is something I could never, ever, do. Besides, I don't really want to live where it snows.
All through this election, I've said that America was already great, and with everyone's help we could make it better. Apparently, the majority to America disagrees with me. They all say America isn't great. So I suppose I shall have to afree with you. Today I don't see myself as an American. I just see myself as a Californian.
President-Elect Trump, in his victory speech, said now he wants my support. So, I will ask him to show me that he is deserving of it. As a Christian woman, as a mother of children who are Mexican, as a friend to both the LGBT community and Muslims, as a firm believer that everyone deserves healthcare as a right... He has a hell of a lot of work to do before he earns my support. At least he is a strong supporter of states' rights. As a resident of a progressive state, I'm grateful for that. But my heart breaks for those who are not so fortunate as I.
I am going to have a hell of a time pledging allegiance to that flag tomorrow. How can I stand there and say pledge allegiance to a nation who touts "liberty and justice for all" when our next president is against it? When liberty and justice and equality are reserved for white men only?
I suppose my bleeding heart is broken, because I sit here and think that this can't possibly be the great nation I have loved and been proud of all my life.
Today, I will mourn in my heart. I will go to work, and I will do my job to the best of my ability. When I catch the eye of a certain co-worker, I will smile, and do everything I can not to cry, because if I do, she will too. I will leave at lunch, and take my daughter to see her surgeon to discuss options. I will not fret about the ACA, or what it may, or may not, mean for her future. As a Shriner's patient, no matter the outcome, she will have the very best of care.
When all that is done, I will come home and have a drink with my husband. We will celebrate that our state passed a tax increase to benefit our schools, and our city passed another to benefit our kids. Then I will probably cry some more. Life will go on; the sun will rise and set again. What happens in the future though? That is anyone's guess.
6:01am. Too early for rum. Damnit.
But feelings cannot be turned off with the flip of a switch. I am not going to cry or whine. I will not point fingers and lay blame. I will not threaten with odes of a dark future.
But I will be honest.
I voted for Hillary Clinton, and I'm heartbroken that she didn't win. I'm not heartbroken because my candidate lost, but because her vision of America is not the one that the majority of Americans share. I'm heartbroken that that my vision, which so closely matches hers, was rejected. I'm heartbroken because I have legitimate fears over what will happen to my family, and to those I care deeply about.
(EDIT: I was under the impression that Hilliary had lost the popular vote at the time of writing. Now that the complete vote is in, her amazing popularity vote win is heartwrenchingly beautiful. I'm glad to see the majority was with her.)
More than anything else, I'm deeply confused. My family has been in America a long, long time. My ancestor came here from England to build a new life for himself. I don't know a lot about him, but I can tell you Robert came here not long after the first pilgrims landed. I can tell you that he was an indentured servant, and when he had worked off his bond, he was rewarded with land. His family grew, and the life they lived was very prosperous.
America has always been good to my family and I. Probably because of that, I've always been immensely patriotic. I love the 4th of July, and am proud that my family has fought in every war from the Revolutionary War to the Iraq War. My freedoms have been paid for with the blood of my forefathers, and our flag has been painted with it.
Today, I don't feel patriotic.
Today, I feel ashamed, because the America I love, the America I grew up in, the America I see forming around me... this is not the America that the people have chosen.
Why?
What do I do now?
My daughter asked if we could move to Canada. Apparently, many are like-minded, as the Canadian immigration website crashed. The idea has merit, but in all honesty, I can't leave. Our blended family means I'd have to give up custody to move, and that is something I could never, ever, do. Besides, I don't really want to live where it snows.
All through this election, I've said that America was already great, and with everyone's help we could make it better. Apparently, the majority to America disagrees with me. They all say America isn't great. So I suppose I shall have to afree with you. Today I don't see myself as an American. I just see myself as a Californian.
President-Elect Trump, in his victory speech, said now he wants my support. So, I will ask him to show me that he is deserving of it. As a Christian woman, as a mother of children who are Mexican, as a friend to both the LGBT community and Muslims, as a firm believer that everyone deserves healthcare as a right... He has a hell of a lot of work to do before he earns my support. At least he is a strong supporter of states' rights. As a resident of a progressive state, I'm grateful for that. But my heart breaks for those who are not so fortunate as I.
I am going to have a hell of a time pledging allegiance to that flag tomorrow. How can I stand there and say pledge allegiance to a nation who touts "liberty and justice for all" when our next president is against it? When liberty and justice and equality are reserved for white men only?
I suppose my bleeding heart is broken, because I sit here and think that this can't possibly be the great nation I have loved and been proud of all my life.
Today, I will mourn in my heart. I will go to work, and I will do my job to the best of my ability. When I catch the eye of a certain co-worker, I will smile, and do everything I can not to cry, because if I do, she will too. I will leave at lunch, and take my daughter to see her surgeon to discuss options. I will not fret about the ACA, or what it may, or may not, mean for her future. As a Shriner's patient, no matter the outcome, she will have the very best of care.
When all that is done, I will come home and have a drink with my husband. We will celebrate that our state passed a tax increase to benefit our schools, and our city passed another to benefit our kids. Then I will probably cry some more. Life will go on; the sun will rise and set again. What happens in the future though? That is anyone's guess.
6:01am. Too early for rum. Damnit.