Aaron and I think we are hilarious
List of hobbies not included in "housing wanted" advertisement on craigslist:
-Posting pictures of funny cats on the internet (obscure)
-Taking longs walks around the city (sounds like we are old people)
-Video games (loser/noise concerns)
-going down to the beach with a metal detector, looking for treasure (patently false, sounds like we are old people, what if we brought something back to their apartment that gives them tetanus)
-in our spare time, we make independent avantgarde films (untrue, also weird)
List of phrases not included in "housing wanted" advertisement on craigslist:
-we are a clean people, but a proud one (obscure)
-Allison prefers an ontological view of God, whereas Aaron prefers a teleological view, and we debate about this often (this is untrue, and weird)
-we are planning on installing a small swimming pool we hope that is okay. Aaron prefers to sleep underwater, as he finds it more comfortable (zoning concerns)
-we are both cunning linguists (irrelevant)
First draft:
We are looking for a one bedroom sublet for the maximum price of $1400/mo for two people. Neither of us have a car, so access to BART and/or MUNI is a necessity, and a more central location is preferred.
We are both in our early twenties, responsible, and new to the area. Activities we enjoy include watching DVDs with the sound off and not putting up any posters or paintings on your immaculate walls. We like to cook but will wash everything thoroughly when we are finished so that there will be no unsightly cross-contamination of our germs and yours (if you have germs). We are both quiet and unlikely to steal your anything from your apartment unless we need money for cocaine.
Willing to do rent reduction in return for performing menial tasks and/or taking care of your pets. That is "taking care" of in the "nurturing" sense, not in the "final solution" sense. We are perfectly willing to put up with any house rules you come up with, no matter how bizarre, illogical, or downright annoying.
-Posting pictures of funny cats on the internet (obscure)
-Taking longs walks around the city (sounds like we are old people)
-Video games (loser/noise concerns)
-going down to the beach with a metal detector, looking for treasure (patently false, sounds like we are old people, what if we brought something back to their apartment that gives them tetanus)
-in our spare time, we make independent avantgarde films (untrue, also weird)
List of phrases not included in "housing wanted" advertisement on craigslist:
-we are a clean people, but a proud one (obscure)
-Allison prefers an ontological view of God, whereas Aaron prefers a teleological view, and we debate about this often (this is untrue, and weird)
-we are planning on installing a small swimming pool we hope that is okay. Aaron prefers to sleep underwater, as he finds it more comfortable (zoning concerns)
-we are both cunning linguists (irrelevant)
First draft:
We are looking for a one bedroom sublet for the maximum price of $1400/mo for two people. Neither of us have a car, so access to BART and/or MUNI is a necessity, and a more central location is preferred.
We are both in our early twenties, responsible, and new to the area. Activities we enjoy include watching DVDs with the sound off and not putting up any posters or paintings on your immaculate walls. We like to cook but will wash everything thoroughly when we are finished so that there will be no unsightly cross-contamination of our germs and yours (if you have germs). We are both quiet and unlikely to steal your anything from your apartment unless we need money for cocaine.
Willing to do rent reduction in return for performing menial tasks and/or taking care of your pets. That is "taking care" of in the "nurturing" sense, not in the "final solution" sense. We are perfectly willing to put up with any house rules you come up with, no matter how bizarre, illogical, or downright annoying.