Fic - Pulling The Rug
Fic:
Title: Pulling The Rug
Author: funkyshaz57
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Callie and Arizona
Disclaimer: Don't own em, Shonda does.
Thanks to a good friend for being my Beta on this, couldn't have done it without you
A/N - This was an entry for the Halloween Contest on LJ last year. The first piece I had written in a long time, unfortunately the contest was cancelled but I thought it was about time I posted it on my journal.
Title: Pulling The Rug
Author: funkyshaz57
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Callie and Arizona
Disclaimer: Don't own em, Shonda does.
Thanks to a good friend for being my Beta on this, couldn't have done it without you
A/N - This was an entry for the Halloween Contest on LJ last year. The first piece I had written in a long time, unfortunately the contest was cancelled but I thought it was about time I posted it on my journal.
Prompt - Arizona and Callie are still broken up. Sofia begs them to go out trick or treating together because she misses family time. Both of them go a bit inappropriate for neighborhood trick or treating by wearing really hot costumes. They end up in bed together and finally talk afterwards.
Also here are a link to the costumes I picked for C/A! They're hot! Check em out!
http://www.google.co.nz/imgres?imgurl=&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.costumecraze.com%2FSA590.html&h=0&w=0&sz=1&tbnid=XrcdaVK62jTKUM&tbnh=276&tbnw=182&zoom=1&docid=9rOnYG1kopafIM&ei=QX1vUqzYNYi4rAeKx4GQBw&ved=0CAgQsCU
Standing in front of the full length mirror in the bathroom of her Hotel room, Arizona scrutinizes herself closely. The last time she had worn something so revealing was when she and Callie had resumed their sex life many months prior - before she had cheated on the love of her life. Before she had lost her family, her dignity and pride. The last four months had been some of the hardest of her life and she was barely hanging on by a thread. Tonight was threatening to shatter the last remaining pieces of control she had left.
Halloween, normally a Holiday she would be looking forward to because it meant watching her beautiful daughter being dressed up in some ridiculous yet adorable pumpkin costume and being able to perve on her wife as she wore something delightfully delectable. However, tonight, she was fraught with nerves. There was none of the usual Pre Trick or Treating antics where she would tease Callie about her costume, and she didn't get to tickle Sofia's sides eliciting that giggle that made her heart soar. Instead, she was standing alone, in an empty hotel room, wondering why she had agreed to this.
Chastising herself, she shook her head and scowled at her reflection in the mirror while trying to adjust the oh so tiny red dress.
She knew why she was supposed to be doing this.
For Sofia. Her precious daughter, whom she only saw now on every second weekend, and every Wednesday for dinner. If she was lucky and wasn't in Surgery, she would make it for the occasional lunch at the hospital’s daycare, but more often than not she was far too busy. So, even though her stomach was in knots, even though she felt like she was about to face the firing squad, there was no way she was going to bail.
Placing the fire red horns on her head, Arizona gave herself a final once over. She had to silently admit to herself that she looked hot, more than hot. Her short dress was tight and clung to every curve on her lithe body, with black flames across her midsection, falling to mid thigh. Accompanying the dress, she wore long red gloves that covered her forearms and to top off the costume, she was wearing red leather knee high boots. Since the amputation she hadn't worn anything that showed her prosthesis but tonight, as terrified as she was, she had decided to go all out. Sofia might be the reason she was going, but there was also one more.
Callie. Her beautiful, miraculously breathtaking wife.
While Callie wasn't the one to invite her, in fact she seemed dead set against it, Arizona wasn't going to hide her glee at being able to spend a few hours with her, even if she was still terrified. Things had been tense between them since that night, to say the least. It had been months and despite numerous attempts to talk to her wife, Callie had denied her at every turn. She couldn't blame her; after all she had betrayed her trust in the worst possible way, but Arizona also believed that Callie shouldered some responsibility for their current position. She was not blaming the Latina for her decision to cheat but she believed that Callie had to take some ownership for their failed relationship. While tonight was about their daughter, Arizona wasn't above using some of that time to try and get her feisty wife to talk to her, and if that meant wearing the sexiest costume she could find in the hopes of at least seducing her wife into conversation, then she had no problem with that. At this point, she really didn't have much to lose.
Releasing a long breath and picking up her clutch, Arizona walked confidently to the door. Butterflies invade her stomach as she exits the room and makes her way down the lobby and towards the elevator, she knows that tonight may be her final chance to try and talk to her wife, to try and get her to understand. One way or anothe,r tonight she is finally going to find out if she can salvage her marriage, or if it's time for her to move on.
***************
Fiddling with the Halo situated on top of her head, Callie took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves. Any minute now, Arizona was going to be arriving at their....no, her, apartment and she had no idea how to react. Her first instinct would be to cold shoulder the blonde, but that wasn't really appropriate given her daughter would be there with them. Despite the state of her relationship, she didn't want to drag Sofia anymore into their mess than she already was. It was bad enough the young girl cried most nights because her Mama wasn't there; she really didn't need to see the two of them yelling at each other.
If Sofia wasn't her sole reason for living at the moment there was no way she would have agreed to this. Spending hours with the woman who broke her heart wasn't exactly how she had planned to spend Halloween, but one look over at her daughter who was dressed in the most ridiculous yet adorable pumpkin costume, Callie knew she couldn't back out. Their daughter had been looking forward to this all week, and she wasn't going to disappoint and after the all out tantrum their little girl had performed to get her own way, Callie was starting to think spending time with her wife might be easier than having to deal with the fall out if she didn't.
Flashback
"Mama come trick treating" Sofia said enthusiastically to Arizona as she handed her daughter over the threshold of her old apartment to a tense looking Latina.
Arizona watched Callie's eyes bug out of her head at the suggestion. It broke her heart to know that Callie couldn't stand the idea of spending any time with her at all even if it was for their daughter.
Kissing Sofia's cheek, Arizona's hand swept a few curls away from her eyes as she tried to catch her wife's eye, but as was the usual for the past four months, Callie refused to look at her.
"I'm sorry baby girl. I think your Madre is going to take you, but if you're really good I'm sure I could come and see you in your costume before you head out and I may just bring a whole lot of candy for you." said Arizona trying to keep a smile on her face as to not alert their daughter to how tense things currently felt.
"No! Mama come." Sofia insisted as she tried to reach back for her fair haired mother.
"Sof, your Mama is busy that night but don't worry me and you will have lots of fun Ok Mija?" said Callie, struggling to keep hold of her daughter.
"No, no, no, NO! I want my Mama!" Sofia yelled, tears already leaking from her big brown eyes.
Catching both woman off guard, Sofia's little hands lashed out, catching Callie in the side of the face as she twisted and turned and wailed, trying to break free from her Madre to the arms of Arizona who was standing there stunned.
"Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres. You stop that right now!" said Arizona in her full mummy voice.
Recognizing the tone of her mother, Sofia stopped immediately but her tears did not cease. Instead she did the one thing that, whether she knew it or not, would get her her own way. Lip jutting out, eyes shining with tears, she looked from one mother to the other, her voice barely above a whisper and cracked on every word she spoke.
"I-I w-want my Mama. Miss y-you Mama."
End of Flashback.
Shaking her head at the memory of that day only a week before, Callie turned to look at her daughter, who was holding a cute plastic pumpkin bucket to match her costume. Despite her reservations about tonight, she couldn't deny how good it felt to see Sofia so happy and excited. She was sitting cross legged on the floor just staring at the door waiting for her Mama to arrive, and it simultaneously brightened and broke her heart. Sofia missed her Mama, every single day and every night. Arizona and Sofia had always had such a strong bond and every night Callie's heart would break when Sofia would place her hand upon her cheek as she laid her to bed and ask where her Mama was.
It made her mad at Arizona, that their daughter was so affected by what she had done, but it also made her sad because while she never planned on telling Arizona, she missed her, too. Every day and night. She missed her wife, she missed their family but she just could not see a way forward for them. The trust was gone. Arizona not only cheated but lied to her. Lied about how she was feeling. How was she to know her wife was so unhappy. No, this wasn't her fault, this was all on Arizona.
Even as the thought passed through her jumbled mind, that devil on her shoulder popped up screaming at her that she played a part in this. That it takes two in a marriage for it to reach this poin,t but as soon as she heard the knock at the door, she banished that thought from her head. This wasn't on her, and she would continue to tell herself that so she could get through this night. Walking to the door to let her wife in, however, she couldn't shake the guilty feeling at the sudden thought that she may just have some things to answer to.
***************
An hour and a half into Trick or Treating and Arizona was just as uncomfortable as she had been since she arrived at her old apartment. Callie hadn't let her in, instead ushering her into the hallway by practically shoving Sofia into her arms. She had tried to not feel offended, but it was hard. Everything was hard and she felt like she was going to burst into tears at any moment. They had been walking the streets for nearly two hours, alternating between pushing Sofia in her stroller and holding her hand as she slowly walked from house to house.
During that time, Callie had not said one single word to her except to scathinglhy comment that her costume suited her. Although she knew it was a dig at her she was positive, and maybe she was imagining it but she was sure she had caught her wife staring at her numerous times, and she was also sure that when she took Sofia from Callie's arms a few houses back the Latina's eyes had zeroed in on her cleavage.
She herself had struggled to not openly appraise her wife, sure it would be met with disdain, but it had been excruciatingly hard. Callie looked sexy, she looked delicious and Arizona had to pinch herself to stop from reaching out and running her fingertips along the satiny white material of her angel costume. She had tried to make light conversation about the fact that she was a devil and Callie an angel, but her feisty wife had just ignored her in favour of talking to Sofia instead.
So instead she had kept her mouth shut and stolen looks whenever Callie wasn't watching. Her wife was a goddess, dressed in a white dress that made her skin glow, and fell to well above the knee. Arms bare with a Halo on her head, her brunette locks flowing in the slight breeze with a glittery pair of wings attached - she was the vision of beauty, and Arizona's heart ached that she now did not have permission to tell and show her wife how she made her feel. Once upon a time, her flirty comments would have been met with a dazzling smile; now, however, the one time she tried to say something it was met with anger and hurt.
Sighing loudly, she slowed to a stop outside yet another house. Her leg was starting to hurt and her heart felt heavy. She really had wanted to talk to Callie tonight, but it seemed even though she was closer to her wife than she had been in months, Callie was still adamantly refusing to even try and talk or listen. She couldn't blame her, if the shoe was on the other foot she wasn't sure she would be acting the same way. She just missed her wife, she missed her family, and she wanted that back.
"I think it's time we head back. Sofia is exhausted." said Callie, breaking through Arizona's sombre line of thoughts.
Looking up towards the voice, Arizona felt for the first time that night something other than Callie's angry filled gaze directed at her. She didn't dare blink as she held the eye contact her wife was offering. She swore she could see a swirl of emotions twirling in the depths of those chocolate brown eyes, and amongst the sad and the angry, there was longing and what she hoped was love. She didn't know what was compelling her wife to actually look at her, but she wasn't dare complaining. She stared back silently, terrified for when the spell would break. She hoped she was conveying as much as she could as she looked back into Callie’s eyes.
Soon enough, though, Callie turned away, awkwardly clearing her throat. "Do you want to push her or...." Callie trailed off as she turned a deep shade of red.
She hadn't meant to stare so openly at her wife, and she certainly hadn't meant to look into her eyes and feel that love she was sure she had been doing such a great job at hiding. She had stayed strong all night, refusing to barely look at the blonde for fear of faltering because, just like seconds ago, she knew that if she looked into those crystal blue eyes for longer than a few seconds she may just be tempted to take Arizona into her arms and not let her go.
That wasn't an option though. She had to maintain her anger. She was angry, but she also missed her wife. Her earlier thoughts from before they left to roam the streets had been filtering in and out all evening, making her doubt her stance that Arizona was the devil incarnate, despite her wife's choice of costume. Speaking of costume choices, Callie had all but choked on her own breath at seeing her wife dressed up so sexily. She had practically thrown her daughter at Arizona when she had arrived because seeing her in what she was wearing, she had had the mad urge to instead pull her into the apartment and forgo the traditional Trick or Treating in favour of a different kind of treat. However angry or sad she was with her wife, she could not deny how beautiful she was. She was stunning and that fact had made it harder for her all night to keep her distance.
Finding her voice, Arizona nodded quietly, moving to take Sofia from Callie's arms. As they transferred her over their hands brushed and both of them gasped softly into the dark of the night. Both woman quickly stepped apart and Callie started to move quickly forward while Arizona shakily placed their daughter in her stroller.
"Mama.." Sofia croaked out tiredly as Arizona started the long walk back to Callie's apartment.
"Yeah, baby girl?" Arizona answered quietly as she kept an eye on Callie who was only a few steps in front of her.
"You put me to bed tonight Mama?" Sofia questioned sleepily.
Arizona nearly lost her footing at her daughter's request. She worked quickly to come up with an excuse as to why she couldn't, sure Callie would shoot down the idea immediately, but she was shocked when Callie turned to face them, her face slightly uncomfortable and said,"I'm sure your Mama would love to put you to bed, baby girl."
Heart soaring but trying not to show it, Arizona smiled softly at Callie before they resumed their walk.
"Did you have fun tonight, Sof?" asked Arizona as they neared the apartment complex.
"Yep, me have fun with Mama and Mami." said the toddler quietly as she started to fade into sleep.
"I'm glad baby girl. Now lets get you upstairs and into bed." said Arizona quietly as she moved the stroller into the elevator.
Several tense moments later, Arizona found herself leaning over Sofia's bed, tucking her favourite blanket around her. Leaning down, she kissed a tanned cheek, sighing quietly at the sight of her daughter asleep.
"I love you Sofia." she whispered as she turned to leave.
"Love you too Mama." was the response she received before she heard the soft snores filter throughout the room.
Closing the door, she walked slowly into the living room. Callie was standing awkwardly in the middle, looking at her as she came in. She had waited all night for this, for her to be alone with her wife. This was her chance right now to try and talk to Callie, to try and explain and apologize, but now that she was here she found she had no idea what to say. Callie was looking at her again, yet this time, she couldn't decipher how she was looking at her.
Opening her mouth to say something - anything, she was yet again surprised when Callie spoke.
"Don't. Just don't Arizona." said the Latina in a shaky voice as she stepped forward moving herself closer to the blonde.
"Don't what?" said Arizona, confused.
"Don't try to talk to me, don't say you're sorry....just....please don't." Callie replied as she inched closer.
She didn't know what she was doing. Her heart was tugging her in two different directions. She didn't want Arizona to give her one of her grand speeches because right now she felt so very vulnerable, and she was terrified that one word from her wife would have her forgiving her and she wasn't sure she was ready for that yet.
Arizona closed her mouth, her chest rising and falling, her heart racing as her eyes tracked her wife's movements as she came steadily closer. She didn't understand what was happening here. While she was glad that Callie hadn't kicked her out, she was confused as to what she wanted.
When Callie was standing directly in front of her, close enough that Arizona could feel her breath ghosting along her lips, she swallowed hard. Her head was a mess of emotions, but this felt right. Having her wife stand so close to her, having Callie stare at her like she used to made her feel something she hadn't felt in months. Callie told her not to talk, not to apologize, but she couldn't stay silent, she had to say something, so she said the only thing that came to mind.
"You look really pretty."
She knew she was going to kiss her. Before she opened her mouth, Callie knew that she was going to kiss her. She couldn't help it, everything inside her was screaming at her to do so. Then Arizona uttered those few simple words and Callie knew in that moment, even with her head screaming at her to run, that she was going to do more than just kiss her wife.
Arizona stiffened as Callie's lips came crashing against her own. She wasn't expecting this at all. Her brain was telling her to kiss her back, this was what she had wanted for months, but the sheer shock of her wife finally kissing her was paralysing.
.
Callie's mouth had a mind of its own as her lips crashed down against those of her wife. Her hands roughly grabbed a fair face and yanked forward as her tongue begged entry into Arizona's mouth. The moan that erupted from her when she felt soft pink lips parting was loud and long. She wasted no time in showing her dominance as her tongue battled and fought with her wife's. She refused to think about anything other than how right this felt at the moment. All of her other doubts were silenced and long gone as she felt nimble fingers grasp at her hips.
Taking a deep breath through her nose, she continued to kiss her wife as she started to push them towards the bedroom. She couldn't believe how good this felt, although she shouldn't be surprised. She and Arizona had always had fantastic chemistry in the bedroom and it seemed even after months apart nothing had changed.
By the time they had reached the room, Callie had torn off Arizona's dress, leaving her in nothing but a matching red lace bra and pantie set. Her mouth watered at the sight and she did nothing to hide her approval as her eyes raked up and down the nearly naked body of her wife.
Arizona swallowed hard as she watched Callie take her in. She couldn't believe this was happening. She had spent months trying to get her wife to talk to her and had been rebuffed at every turn and yet here she was, half naked standing in her old room with her equally half naked wife. A voice in the back of her head told her they needed to talk, that sex wasn't the answer, but the moment her eyes took in the sight of Callie peeling off her white lace bra and panties she told that voice to fuck off.
"God Calliope y-you are stunning." she managed to get out before her wife's mouth was yet again against her own.
"No talking. I just need to feel you, god I need you so fucking badly." growled callie desperately. She knew on some level this was wrong, but god if it was why the fuck did it feel so right?
Allowing Callie to take the lead and not wanting to do anything to ruin this moment, Arizona shut her mouth and allowed Callie to push her back onto the bed. She shuddered and gasped as she felt those fingers she had missed so much taking off her bra and panties before moving on to her prosthesis. A year ago, hell nearly half a year ago this act would have been met with resistance, but right now all Arizona wanted was her wife inside her. She couldn't care less that she only had one leg. Her body was humming with anticipation and as she felt the full weight of her wife settle over her she released a drawn out whimper. Nothing had ever felt so fucking right.
Going on impulse and refusing to let the more sensible side of her brain interrupt, Callie cherished every single second that she was with her wife. Being on top of her completely naked, hip to hip, stomach to stomach, breast to breast, felt amazing. She could feel her own arousal starting to run down the inside of her thighs. It had been months since she and Arizona had been intimate, and in this moment, nothing else mattered. She was going to lead with her heart and her heart was telling her that she needed this. Not only did she need it, but she wanted this. She was sick of fighting Arizona and sick of fighting herself. She would deal with the consequences after but for now she wanted to lose herself in the one thing that had always made her feel whole and happy.
“You feel so good, god I’ve missed this.” came Callie’s voice before she froze realizing what she had just said.
Nothing about this situation was normal and while she desperately craved the physical closeness to her wife, the emotional openness was something she wasn’t comfortable with. Unfortunately old habits were hard to break. Still half frozen on top of the blonde, Callie reluctantly lowered her eyes to meet her wife’s gaze.
Callie’s words echoed through Arizona’s mind as she lay there still as a statue. She knew from Callie’s reaction that the Latina hadn’t meant to say them out loud but she couldn't help but internally rejoice because she felt the same. Realizing that Callie now felt uncomfortable, Arizona raised her head and was met with brown eyes staring at her, part vulnerable, part defiant.
Bringing a hand slowly up to cup a tanned cheek, she smiled softly at her wife, “It’s okay Callie.”
Shaking her head slightly, Callie worried her bottom lip in between her teeth, “I..I don’t…” she trailed off, unable to articulate what she wanted to say.
“I can go if you want.” Arizona offered simply, not wanting to make this more awkward than need be. She didn’t want to go. She wanted to stay and make love to her wife. She wanted to show Callie just how sorry she was, just how much she loved her. While this felt more hollow and desperate than she would like, she would take that any day over complete silence and hateful words.
“No! Please don’t go. I w-want you to stay.” Callie said frantically. She couldn’t handle Arizona leaving. She knew they were a million miles away from fixing them, but for the first time in months she felt partially whole again, she could breathe without wanting to cry.
Smiling softly Arizona nodded her head. Instead of talking, knowing what Callie wanted, she leaned up and kissed those full lips once, then twice waiting for her wife to respond. Soon enough the awkwardness faded and their passion for one another took over. Their mouths moved together perfectly as though they had never separated, and hands stroked and caressed skin they had both missed. All too soon moans were breaching lips and when Arizona felt Callie’s talented fingers slip between her legs she threw her head back and released a loud drawn out whimper.
The feeling of Callie being inside her again was unbelievable and she thrust her hips up, silently begging for more. God she couldn’t believe she had nearly forgotten what this was like. The deep, hard thrusts of her wife’s fingers, the way her thumb rubbed soft circles around her aching clit.
“Fuck….god Callie.” she praised breathlessly.
Hearing her wife’s voice calling her name and the gasps and the moans had Callie more turned on than she could remember. She was dripping wet and needed her wife to touch her. Spreading her legs she managed to maneuver herself so she was straddling a toned thigh. She thrust down rubbing herself against Arizona’s leg and immediately her eyes rolled in the back of her head.
“Oh...yes….yes.” she gasped out as she rubbed herself against the blonde, never forgetting the fingers in between her wife’s legs.
Struggling to keep her eyes open with the onslaught of pleasure Callie was providing, Arizona was at least aware enough to slip her hand down the length of her leg to reach between Callie’s thighs. If this was the last time she was going to get to see the Latina like this, then there was no way she wasn’t going to help. Her fingertips tingled as they inched closer to where she really wanted to be. Her heart thudded in her chest as she felt that warm wet heat that she had missed so much. The moment she came into contact with her wife’s hardened clit she felt more weight being pressed down on her body as Callie fell forward with a loud growl.
“God, please...I-inside. I need you inside me.” Callie all but begged.
Hearing Callie beg for her to be inside of her caused a fire to erupt in the pit of her stomach. God she had missed this. Leaning up on her elbows Arizona immediately thrust three fingers inside her wife pushing them to the hilt while her mouth wrapped around a nipple. The reaction was immediate. Callie bucked and moaned and cursed out loud as she thrust her own three fingers inside her wife.
Soon both women were panting and moaning as they thrust relentlessly inside the other, not letting up for a second. Arizona kept her mouth sucking and licking at Callie’s rounded breasts while Callie’s tongue and teeth were wreaking havoc on the blondes neck and shoulder.
“I’m g-going to….fuck I’m going to c-come Callie,” Arizona breathed out as she threw her head back. Fingers still pumping and thumb still rubbing, she spread her legs as far as she could and pumped her hips as she felt that ever elusive climax hurtling towards her.
On the edge herself, Callie hummed her agreement. Her body was on fire, her sex pulsing with need. She knew she was about to tumble over that edge and she wanted to go over with her wife.
“Look at me….please...” she begged breathlessly. She didn’t want to do emotional. She wanted this just to be sex with no attachments, but as she looked down into partially lidded eyes she knew she was kidding herself. Despite everything that had happened, Arizona was the love of her life, and it could never just be sex. There could never not be emotions involved when it came to this woman.
Heeding to her wife’s request, Arizona opened her eyes and looked up at her. Forehead to forehead they lay as their fingers continued their dance below. She felt like crying because here she was having sex with her wife and for the first time in months, Callie was looking at her like she used to, like she was the only person on the planet, and before she could stop herself her orgasm hit her and the words she had been wanting Callie to hear for months spewed forth without her permission.
“Oh God...I’m sorry Callie. I love y-you. I love you so f-fucking much.” she gasped out as her body rose up and collided with Callie’s.
Arizona’s words hit her heart at the same time her climax slammed through her body. She felt her walls clenching around her wife’s fingers as her arousal spilled down Arizona’s fingers and past her hand. Her body convulsed and shook and collided with Arizona’s as she tried to milk every second of pleasure she was just given. Words she hadn’t spoken in months, close to a year, in fact, tumbled from her mouth no matter how hard she tried to keep them to herself.
“I love you too, god I love you.”
Panting and whimpering and covered in sweat, Arizona’s lungs burned for air as the last vestiges of pleasure left her body. She closed her eyes and cherished this moment, for she knew that it wouldn’t last. Sure enough moments later after she had barely caught her breath she felt Callie’s weight leave her body. Immediately she felt cold and held her breath as she dreaded Callie kicking her out of not only their bed but the apartment. She rolled onto her side because she wasn’t sure she could handle looking at Callie as she told her to get out.
What happened next though shocked her more than anything that had happened that night. Just as she was about to get up and leave she felt an arm wrap around her middle and pull her backwards, so she she was cocooned within Callie’s arms. Her heart raced and her eyes teared up. Her wife was holding her. She was being spooned, something that had not happened in close to a year. Even when they had resumed their sex life, spooning never happened. She couldn’t remember the last time Callie held her. Before she could stop herself she was crying. Her tears leaked hotly onto her fair skin and she tried to bring her arm up to stop the stem of tears, not wanting to ruin this moment. She didn’t want to guilt trip Callie, but the overflowing cloud of emotions she was feeling now were overpowering and the only thing she could do was cry.
“Please don’t cry. I c-can’t take it when you cry.” said Callie softly.
The moment the sex had stopped, she had the fleeting urge to kick Arizona out, knowing how much it would hurt her, but then she had looked at her wife, naked and vulnerable and the last remaining pieces of ice had started to fade from her broken heart.
“I’ve been thinking all night about us...about what happened and...god Arizona I’m still so so mad at you and so unbelievably hurt.” said Callie quietly as she contemplated how to express how she was feeling.
Arizona stiffened in her arms but remained quiet. Callie deserved to have her say and if that included berating, screaming and yelling she would take it. At this point she would take anything compared to the stony silence she had been getting in the past months.
“Tonight though I’ve been thinking, actually not just tonight but it was tonight that really allowed me to realize something.”
Arizona held her breath as she waited for whatever realization it was that Callie had come to. Was it that their marriage was over? Was Callie about to tell her there was no hope and they should move on? Or was she about to finally give Arizona the one thing she had been begging for, for months?
“You’re not completely at fault. I mean don’t get me wrong, you decided to cheat and that is on you...but it takes two for a relationship to crumble and I...I think that maybe I haven’t been as understanding and supportive to you over this past year. I’ve been blind to how you’ve been feeling and...and I think, I just think that you’re not the only one who fucked up here Arizona.” said Callie as she held her breath awaiting a reaction from her wife.
Arizona wasn’t sure what to say. She didn’t want to contradict what Callie was saying because she felt like it was the truth. Callie had responsibility in all this but at the same time she didn't’ want to come across as though she was blaming Callie, because ultimately it was she who cheated, it was she that betrayed her wife, not the other way around.
Sensing her wife’s hesitance to answer, Callie leaned in close and kissed a lightly freckled shoulder, loving the shiver that rolled through her wife’s body at the contact. “You are allowed to answer. I know I haven’t exactly been receptive lately but I’m not going to shut you down this time.” said Callie.
Taking a breath and deciding to go for it; after all, she didn’t know when she would get a better opening than now, Arizona chose her words carefully while at the same time trying to be as truthful as possible. “You’re right. I feel as though...y..you...like it’s not just on me. I mean yes I cheated and me doing that, that is on me. I’m not blaming you for what I did that night but...I just feel as though it’s not just me you know?” Arizona rambled, finding it harder than she thought to articulate her thoughts without coming across as accusing.
“I know what you mean Arizona and you’re right. This isn’t only on you. It’s on both of us. I can see that now.” admitted Callie honestly.
Releasing a breath and feeling somewhat lighter, Arizona turned in Callie’s arms to look at her wife. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked at Callie. So beautiful she was that she stole her breath. She truly could not believe they were here right now.
“I don’t think I’ve ever said this to you before but I am so, so sorry Calliope, for hurting you like that. If you don’t ever believe another word that comes out of my mouth, please believe how sorry I am.” whispered Arizona earnestly.
Not wanting to cry for fear she may never stop Callie swallowed hard and nodded her head. A moment of silence passed where they both just watched each other, enjoying a moment that they both feared they would never have again. Eventually it was Arizona who spoke up, her voice timid and unsure.
“Where do we go from here Callie because...I love you and I’m not ready for this to end.”
This was the moment of truth. Callie could go against her her nearly every instinct and run in the opposite direction or she could give into what her heart and head was telling her which was to fight for her marriage, fight for the other mother of her child, her partner, her lover and her best friend.
“We’re not Okay….” Callie started and Arizona’s heart sank, ..”but I want to be Okay. No I want to be more than Okay but I’m worried that too much has happened, that we are both too damaged.” said Callie quietly, yet honestly, because she really was terrified that they had run out of chances by now.
Heart racing, Arizona moved forward so her forehead pressed against Callie’s. “I want that too and I know that I...that we both have so much work to do. I know it’s going to be hard and...and maybe some days you’ll want to run. Maybe some days you’ll remember what I did and you’ll hate me for it but I love you Calliope so much and I know we can make this work.” Arizona pleaded.
Looking at her wife, hearing the quiet plea for a second chance and knowing her heart couldn’t take another four months of no contact, Callie nodded her head as she released a breath. Tightening her hold on her wife she snuggled in close, kissing whatever part of her face she could reach.
“So tomorrow we rebook ourselves into couples therapy then.” said Callie as her eyelids started to droop.
Heart soaring, Arizona immediately agreed. “Thank you Callie. Um..do you want me to l-leave?” she asked hesitantly. While progress had been made she didn’t want to push her luck.
Squeezing her arms more securely around Arizona’s waist Callie shook her head and nuzzled into the crook of her wife’s neck.
“No. Stay. I need you to stay with me tonight.”
Smiling like a fool, Arizona barely managed to hold back the sob she wanted to release. Instead, she wrapped her arms around her wife so they were tangled up in each other.
“I’m not going anywhere. Not ever again.”
Title: Pulling The Rug
Author: funkyshaz57
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Callie and Arizona
Disclaimer: Don't own em, Shonda does.
Thanks to a good friend for being my Beta on this, couldn't have done it without you
A/N - This was an entry for the Halloween Contest on LJ last year. The first piece I had written in a long time, unfortunately the contest was cancelled but I thought it was about time I posted it on my journal.
Title: Pulling The Rug
Author: funkyshaz57
Rating: NC17
Pairing: Callie and Arizona
Disclaimer: Don't own em, Shonda does.
Thanks to a good friend for being my Beta on this, couldn't have done it without you
A/N - This was an entry for the Halloween Contest on LJ last year. The first piece I had written in a long time, unfortunately the contest was cancelled but I thought it was about time I posted it on my journal.
Prompt - Arizona and Callie are still broken up. Sofia begs them to go out trick or treating together because she misses family time. Both of them go a bit inappropriate for neighborhood trick or treating by wearing really hot costumes. They end up in bed together and finally talk afterwards.
Also here are a link to the costumes I picked for C/A! They're hot! Check em out!
http://www.google.co.nz/imgres?imgurl=&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.costumecraze.com%2FSA590.html&h=0&w=0&sz=1&tbnid=XrcdaVK62jTKUM&tbnh=276&tbnw=182&zoom=1&docid=9rOnYG1kopafIM&ei=QX1vUqzYNYi4rAeKx4GQBw&ved=0CAgQsCU
Standing in front of the full length mirror in the bathroom of her Hotel room, Arizona scrutinizes herself closely. The last time she had worn something so revealing was when she and Callie had resumed their sex life many months prior - before she had cheated on the love of her life. Before she had lost her family, her dignity and pride. The last four months had been some of the hardest of her life and she was barely hanging on by a thread. Tonight was threatening to shatter the last remaining pieces of control she had left.
Halloween, normally a Holiday she would be looking forward to because it meant watching her beautiful daughter being dressed up in some ridiculous yet adorable pumpkin costume and being able to perve on her wife as she wore something delightfully delectable. However, tonight, she was fraught with nerves. There was none of the usual Pre Trick or Treating antics where she would tease Callie about her costume, and she didn't get to tickle Sofia's sides eliciting that giggle that made her heart soar. Instead, she was standing alone, in an empty hotel room, wondering why she had agreed to this.
Chastising herself, she shook her head and scowled at her reflection in the mirror while trying to adjust the oh so tiny red dress.
She knew why she was supposed to be doing this.
For Sofia. Her precious daughter, whom she only saw now on every second weekend, and every Wednesday for dinner. If she was lucky and wasn't in Surgery, she would make it for the occasional lunch at the hospital’s daycare, but more often than not she was far too busy. So, even though her stomach was in knots, even though she felt like she was about to face the firing squad, there was no way she was going to bail.
Placing the fire red horns on her head, Arizona gave herself a final once over. She had to silently admit to herself that she looked hot, more than hot. Her short dress was tight and clung to every curve on her lithe body, with black flames across her midsection, falling to mid thigh. Accompanying the dress, she wore long red gloves that covered her forearms and to top off the costume, she was wearing red leather knee high boots. Since the amputation she hadn't worn anything that showed her prosthesis but tonight, as terrified as she was, she had decided to go all out. Sofia might be the reason she was going, but there was also one more.
Callie. Her beautiful, miraculously breathtaking wife.
While Callie wasn't the one to invite her, in fact she seemed dead set against it, Arizona wasn't going to hide her glee at being able to spend a few hours with her, even if she was still terrified. Things had been tense between them since that night, to say the least. It had been months and despite numerous attempts to talk to her wife, Callie had denied her at every turn. She couldn't blame her; after all she had betrayed her trust in the worst possible way, but Arizona also believed that Callie shouldered some responsibility for their current position. She was not blaming the Latina for her decision to cheat but she believed that Callie had to take some ownership for their failed relationship. While tonight was about their daughter, Arizona wasn't above using some of that time to try and get her feisty wife to talk to her, and if that meant wearing the sexiest costume she could find in the hopes of at least seducing her wife into conversation, then she had no problem with that. At this point, she really didn't have much to lose.
Releasing a long breath and picking up her clutch, Arizona walked confidently to the door. Butterflies invade her stomach as she exits the room and makes her way down the lobby and towards the elevator, she knows that tonight may be her final chance to try and talk to her wife, to try and get her to understand. One way or anothe,r tonight she is finally going to find out if she can salvage her marriage, or if it's time for her to move on.
***************
Fiddling with the Halo situated on top of her head, Callie took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves. Any minute now, Arizona was going to be arriving at their....no, her, apartment and she had no idea how to react. Her first instinct would be to cold shoulder the blonde, but that wasn't really appropriate given her daughter would be there with them. Despite the state of her relationship, she didn't want to drag Sofia anymore into their mess than she already was. It was bad enough the young girl cried most nights because her Mama wasn't there; she really didn't need to see the two of them yelling at each other.
If Sofia wasn't her sole reason for living at the moment there was no way she would have agreed to this. Spending hours with the woman who broke her heart wasn't exactly how she had planned to spend Halloween, but one look over at her daughter who was dressed in the most ridiculous yet adorable pumpkin costume, Callie knew she couldn't back out. Their daughter had been looking forward to this all week, and she wasn't going to disappoint and after the all out tantrum their little girl had performed to get her own way, Callie was starting to think spending time with her wife might be easier than having to deal with the fall out if she didn't.
Flashback
"Mama come trick treating" Sofia said enthusiastically to Arizona as she handed her daughter over the threshold of her old apartment to a tense looking Latina.
Arizona watched Callie's eyes bug out of her head at the suggestion. It broke her heart to know that Callie couldn't stand the idea of spending any time with her at all even if it was for their daughter.
Kissing Sofia's cheek, Arizona's hand swept a few curls away from her eyes as she tried to catch her wife's eye, but as was the usual for the past four months, Callie refused to look at her.
"I'm sorry baby girl. I think your Madre is going to take you, but if you're really good I'm sure I could come and see you in your costume before you head out and I may just bring a whole lot of candy for you." said Arizona trying to keep a smile on her face as to not alert their daughter to how tense things currently felt.
"No! Mama come." Sofia insisted as she tried to reach back for her fair haired mother.
"Sof, your Mama is busy that night but don't worry me and you will have lots of fun Ok Mija?" said Callie, struggling to keep hold of her daughter.
"No, no, no, NO! I want my Mama!" Sofia yelled, tears already leaking from her big brown eyes.
Catching both woman off guard, Sofia's little hands lashed out, catching Callie in the side of the face as she twisted and turned and wailed, trying to break free from her Madre to the arms of Arizona who was standing there stunned.
"Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres. You stop that right now!" said Arizona in her full mummy voice.
Recognizing the tone of her mother, Sofia stopped immediately but her tears did not cease. Instead she did the one thing that, whether she knew it or not, would get her her own way. Lip jutting out, eyes shining with tears, she looked from one mother to the other, her voice barely above a whisper and cracked on every word she spoke.
"I-I w-want my Mama. Miss y-you Mama."
End of Flashback.
Shaking her head at the memory of that day only a week before, Callie turned to look at her daughter, who was holding a cute plastic pumpkin bucket to match her costume. Despite her reservations about tonight, she couldn't deny how good it felt to see Sofia so happy and excited. She was sitting cross legged on the floor just staring at the door waiting for her Mama to arrive, and it simultaneously brightened and broke her heart. Sofia missed her Mama, every single day and every night. Arizona and Sofia had always had such a strong bond and every night Callie's heart would break when Sofia would place her hand upon her cheek as she laid her to bed and ask where her Mama was.
It made her mad at Arizona, that their daughter was so affected by what she had done, but it also made her sad because while she never planned on telling Arizona, she missed her, too. Every day and night. She missed her wife, she missed their family but she just could not see a way forward for them. The trust was gone. Arizona not only cheated but lied to her. Lied about how she was feeling. How was she to know her wife was so unhappy. No, this wasn't her fault, this was all on Arizona.
Even as the thought passed through her jumbled mind, that devil on her shoulder popped up screaming at her that she played a part in this. That it takes two in a marriage for it to reach this poin,t but as soon as she heard the knock at the door, she banished that thought from her head. This wasn't on her, and she would continue to tell herself that so she could get through this night. Walking to the door to let her wife in, however, she couldn't shake the guilty feeling at the sudden thought that she may just have some things to answer to.
***************
An hour and a half into Trick or Treating and Arizona was just as uncomfortable as she had been since she arrived at her old apartment. Callie hadn't let her in, instead ushering her into the hallway by practically shoving Sofia into her arms. She had tried to not feel offended, but it was hard. Everything was hard and she felt like she was going to burst into tears at any moment. They had been walking the streets for nearly two hours, alternating between pushing Sofia in her stroller and holding her hand as she slowly walked from house to house.
During that time, Callie had not said one single word to her except to scathinglhy comment that her costume suited her. Although she knew it was a dig at her she was positive, and maybe she was imagining it but she was sure she had caught her wife staring at her numerous times, and she was also sure that when she took Sofia from Callie's arms a few houses back the Latina's eyes had zeroed in on her cleavage.
She herself had struggled to not openly appraise her wife, sure it would be met with disdain, but it had been excruciatingly hard. Callie looked sexy, she looked delicious and Arizona had to pinch herself to stop from reaching out and running her fingertips along the satiny white material of her angel costume. She had tried to make light conversation about the fact that she was a devil and Callie an angel, but her feisty wife had just ignored her in favour of talking to Sofia instead.
So instead she had kept her mouth shut and stolen looks whenever Callie wasn't watching. Her wife was a goddess, dressed in a white dress that made her skin glow, and fell to well above the knee. Arms bare with a Halo on her head, her brunette locks flowing in the slight breeze with a glittery pair of wings attached - she was the vision of beauty, and Arizona's heart ached that she now did not have permission to tell and show her wife how she made her feel. Once upon a time, her flirty comments would have been met with a dazzling smile; now, however, the one time she tried to say something it was met with anger and hurt.
Sighing loudly, she slowed to a stop outside yet another house. Her leg was starting to hurt and her heart felt heavy. She really had wanted to talk to Callie tonight, but it seemed even though she was closer to her wife than she had been in months, Callie was still adamantly refusing to even try and talk or listen. She couldn't blame her, if the shoe was on the other foot she wasn't sure she would be acting the same way. She just missed her wife, she missed her family, and she wanted that back.
"I think it's time we head back. Sofia is exhausted." said Callie, breaking through Arizona's sombre line of thoughts.
Looking up towards the voice, Arizona felt for the first time that night something other than Callie's angry filled gaze directed at her. She didn't dare blink as she held the eye contact her wife was offering. She swore she could see a swirl of emotions twirling in the depths of those chocolate brown eyes, and amongst the sad and the angry, there was longing and what she hoped was love. She didn't know what was compelling her wife to actually look at her, but she wasn't dare complaining. She stared back silently, terrified for when the spell would break. She hoped she was conveying as much as she could as she looked back into Callie’s eyes.
Soon enough, though, Callie turned away, awkwardly clearing her throat. "Do you want to push her or...." Callie trailed off as she turned a deep shade of red.
She hadn't meant to stare so openly at her wife, and she certainly hadn't meant to look into her eyes and feel that love she was sure she had been doing such a great job at hiding. She had stayed strong all night, refusing to barely look at the blonde for fear of faltering because, just like seconds ago, she knew that if she looked into those crystal blue eyes for longer than a few seconds she may just be tempted to take Arizona into her arms and not let her go.
That wasn't an option though. She had to maintain her anger. She was angry, but she also missed her wife. Her earlier thoughts from before they left to roam the streets had been filtering in and out all evening, making her doubt her stance that Arizona was the devil incarnate, despite her wife's choice of costume. Speaking of costume choices, Callie had all but choked on her own breath at seeing her wife dressed up so sexily. She had practically thrown her daughter at Arizona when she had arrived because seeing her in what she was wearing, she had had the mad urge to instead pull her into the apartment and forgo the traditional Trick or Treating in favour of a different kind of treat. However angry or sad she was with her wife, she could not deny how beautiful she was. She was stunning and that fact had made it harder for her all night to keep her distance.
Finding her voice, Arizona nodded quietly, moving to take Sofia from Callie's arms. As they transferred her over their hands brushed and both of them gasped softly into the dark of the night. Both woman quickly stepped apart and Callie started to move quickly forward while Arizona shakily placed their daughter in her stroller.
"Mama.." Sofia croaked out tiredly as Arizona started the long walk back to Callie's apartment.
"Yeah, baby girl?" Arizona answered quietly as she kept an eye on Callie who was only a few steps in front of her.
"You put me to bed tonight Mama?" Sofia questioned sleepily.
Arizona nearly lost her footing at her daughter's request. She worked quickly to come up with an excuse as to why she couldn't, sure Callie would shoot down the idea immediately, but she was shocked when Callie turned to face them, her face slightly uncomfortable and said,"I'm sure your Mama would love to put you to bed, baby girl."
Heart soaring but trying not to show it, Arizona smiled softly at Callie before they resumed their walk.
"Did you have fun tonight, Sof?" asked Arizona as they neared the apartment complex.
"Yep, me have fun with Mama and Mami." said the toddler quietly as she started to fade into sleep.
"I'm glad baby girl. Now lets get you upstairs and into bed." said Arizona quietly as she moved the stroller into the elevator.
Several tense moments later, Arizona found herself leaning over Sofia's bed, tucking her favourite blanket around her. Leaning down, she kissed a tanned cheek, sighing quietly at the sight of her daughter asleep.
"I love you Sofia." she whispered as she turned to leave.
"Love you too Mama." was the response she received before she heard the soft snores filter throughout the room.
Closing the door, she walked slowly into the living room. Callie was standing awkwardly in the middle, looking at her as she came in. She had waited all night for this, for her to be alone with her wife. This was her chance right now to try and talk to Callie, to try and explain and apologize, but now that she was here she found she had no idea what to say. Callie was looking at her again, yet this time, she couldn't decipher how she was looking at her.
Opening her mouth to say something - anything, she was yet again surprised when Callie spoke.
"Don't. Just don't Arizona." said the Latina in a shaky voice as she stepped forward moving herself closer to the blonde.
"Don't what?" said Arizona, confused.
"Don't try to talk to me, don't say you're sorry....just....please don't." Callie replied as she inched closer.
She didn't know what she was doing. Her heart was tugging her in two different directions. She didn't want Arizona to give her one of her grand speeches because right now she felt so very vulnerable, and she was terrified that one word from her wife would have her forgiving her and she wasn't sure she was ready for that yet.
Arizona closed her mouth, her chest rising and falling, her heart racing as her eyes tracked her wife's movements as she came steadily closer. She didn't understand what was happening here. While she was glad that Callie hadn't kicked her out, she was confused as to what she wanted.
When Callie was standing directly in front of her, close enough that Arizona could feel her breath ghosting along her lips, she swallowed hard. Her head was a mess of emotions, but this felt right. Having her wife stand so close to her, having Callie stare at her like she used to made her feel something she hadn't felt in months. Callie told her not to talk, not to apologize, but she couldn't stay silent, she had to say something, so she said the only thing that came to mind.
"You look really pretty."
She knew she was going to kiss her. Before she opened her mouth, Callie knew that she was going to kiss her. She couldn't help it, everything inside her was screaming at her to do so. Then Arizona uttered those few simple words and Callie knew in that moment, even with her head screaming at her to run, that she was going to do more than just kiss her wife.
Arizona stiffened as Callie's lips came crashing against her own. She wasn't expecting this at all. Her brain was telling her to kiss her back, this was what she had wanted for months, but the sheer shock of her wife finally kissing her was paralysing.
.
Callie's mouth had a mind of its own as her lips crashed down against those of her wife. Her hands roughly grabbed a fair face and yanked forward as her tongue begged entry into Arizona's mouth. The moan that erupted from her when she felt soft pink lips parting was loud and long. She wasted no time in showing her dominance as her tongue battled and fought with her wife's. She refused to think about anything other than how right this felt at the moment. All of her other doubts were silenced and long gone as she felt nimble fingers grasp at her hips.
Taking a deep breath through her nose, she continued to kiss her wife as she started to push them towards the bedroom. She couldn't believe how good this felt, although she shouldn't be surprised. She and Arizona had always had fantastic chemistry in the bedroom and it seemed even after months apart nothing had changed.
By the time they had reached the room, Callie had torn off Arizona's dress, leaving her in nothing but a matching red lace bra and pantie set. Her mouth watered at the sight and she did nothing to hide her approval as her eyes raked up and down the nearly naked body of her wife.
Arizona swallowed hard as she watched Callie take her in. She couldn't believe this was happening. She had spent months trying to get her wife to talk to her and had been rebuffed at every turn and yet here she was, half naked standing in her old room with her equally half naked wife. A voice in the back of her head told her they needed to talk, that sex wasn't the answer, but the moment her eyes took in the sight of Callie peeling off her white lace bra and panties she told that voice to fuck off.
"God Calliope y-you are stunning." she managed to get out before her wife's mouth was yet again against her own.
"No talking. I just need to feel you, god I need you so fucking badly." growled callie desperately. She knew on some level this was wrong, but god if it was why the fuck did it feel so right?
Allowing Callie to take the lead and not wanting to do anything to ruin this moment, Arizona shut her mouth and allowed Callie to push her back onto the bed. She shuddered and gasped as she felt those fingers she had missed so much taking off her bra and panties before moving on to her prosthesis. A year ago, hell nearly half a year ago this act would have been met with resistance, but right now all Arizona wanted was her wife inside her. She couldn't care less that she only had one leg. Her body was humming with anticipation and as she felt the full weight of her wife settle over her she released a drawn out whimper. Nothing had ever felt so fucking right.
Going on impulse and refusing to let the more sensible side of her brain interrupt, Callie cherished every single second that she was with her wife. Being on top of her completely naked, hip to hip, stomach to stomach, breast to breast, felt amazing. She could feel her own arousal starting to run down the inside of her thighs. It had been months since she and Arizona had been intimate, and in this moment, nothing else mattered. She was going to lead with her heart and her heart was telling her that she needed this. Not only did she need it, but she wanted this. She was sick of fighting Arizona and sick of fighting herself. She would deal with the consequences after but for now she wanted to lose herself in the one thing that had always made her feel whole and happy.
“You feel so good, god I’ve missed this.” came Callie’s voice before she froze realizing what she had just said.
Nothing about this situation was normal and while she desperately craved the physical closeness to her wife, the emotional openness was something she wasn’t comfortable with. Unfortunately old habits were hard to break. Still half frozen on top of the blonde, Callie reluctantly lowered her eyes to meet her wife’s gaze.
Callie’s words echoed through Arizona’s mind as she lay there still as a statue. She knew from Callie’s reaction that the Latina hadn’t meant to say them out loud but she couldn't help but internally rejoice because she felt the same. Realizing that Callie now felt uncomfortable, Arizona raised her head and was met with brown eyes staring at her, part vulnerable, part defiant.
Bringing a hand slowly up to cup a tanned cheek, she smiled softly at her wife, “It’s okay Callie.”
Shaking her head slightly, Callie worried her bottom lip in between her teeth, “I..I don’t…” she trailed off, unable to articulate what she wanted to say.
“I can go if you want.” Arizona offered simply, not wanting to make this more awkward than need be. She didn’t want to go. She wanted to stay and make love to her wife. She wanted to show Callie just how sorry she was, just how much she loved her. While this felt more hollow and desperate than she would like, she would take that any day over complete silence and hateful words.
“No! Please don’t go. I w-want you to stay.” Callie said frantically. She couldn’t handle Arizona leaving. She knew they were a million miles away from fixing them, but for the first time in months she felt partially whole again, she could breathe without wanting to cry.
Smiling softly Arizona nodded her head. Instead of talking, knowing what Callie wanted, she leaned up and kissed those full lips once, then twice waiting for her wife to respond. Soon enough the awkwardness faded and their passion for one another took over. Their mouths moved together perfectly as though they had never separated, and hands stroked and caressed skin they had both missed. All too soon moans were breaching lips and when Arizona felt Callie’s talented fingers slip between her legs she threw her head back and released a loud drawn out whimper.
The feeling of Callie being inside her again was unbelievable and she thrust her hips up, silently begging for more. God she couldn’t believe she had nearly forgotten what this was like. The deep, hard thrusts of her wife’s fingers, the way her thumb rubbed soft circles around her aching clit.
“Fuck….god Callie.” she praised breathlessly.
Hearing her wife’s voice calling her name and the gasps and the moans had Callie more turned on than she could remember. She was dripping wet and needed her wife to touch her. Spreading her legs she managed to maneuver herself so she was straddling a toned thigh. She thrust down rubbing herself against Arizona’s leg and immediately her eyes rolled in the back of her head.
“Oh...yes….yes.” she gasped out as she rubbed herself against the blonde, never forgetting the fingers in between her wife’s legs.
Struggling to keep her eyes open with the onslaught of pleasure Callie was providing, Arizona was at least aware enough to slip her hand down the length of her leg to reach between Callie’s thighs. If this was the last time she was going to get to see the Latina like this, then there was no way she wasn’t going to help. Her fingertips tingled as they inched closer to where she really wanted to be. Her heart thudded in her chest as she felt that warm wet heat that she had missed so much. The moment she came into contact with her wife’s hardened clit she felt more weight being pressed down on her body as Callie fell forward with a loud growl.
“God, please...I-inside. I need you inside me.” Callie all but begged.
Hearing Callie beg for her to be inside of her caused a fire to erupt in the pit of her stomach. God she had missed this. Leaning up on her elbows Arizona immediately thrust three fingers inside her wife pushing them to the hilt while her mouth wrapped around a nipple. The reaction was immediate. Callie bucked and moaned and cursed out loud as she thrust her own three fingers inside her wife.
Soon both women were panting and moaning as they thrust relentlessly inside the other, not letting up for a second. Arizona kept her mouth sucking and licking at Callie’s rounded breasts while Callie’s tongue and teeth were wreaking havoc on the blondes neck and shoulder.
“I’m g-going to….fuck I’m going to c-come Callie,” Arizona breathed out as she threw her head back. Fingers still pumping and thumb still rubbing, she spread her legs as far as she could and pumped her hips as she felt that ever elusive climax hurtling towards her.
On the edge herself, Callie hummed her agreement. Her body was on fire, her sex pulsing with need. She knew she was about to tumble over that edge and she wanted to go over with her wife.
“Look at me….please...” she begged breathlessly. She didn’t want to do emotional. She wanted this just to be sex with no attachments, but as she looked down into partially lidded eyes she knew she was kidding herself. Despite everything that had happened, Arizona was the love of her life, and it could never just be sex. There could never not be emotions involved when it came to this woman.
Heeding to her wife’s request, Arizona opened her eyes and looked up at her. Forehead to forehead they lay as their fingers continued their dance below. She felt like crying because here she was having sex with her wife and for the first time in months, Callie was looking at her like she used to, like she was the only person on the planet, and before she could stop herself her orgasm hit her and the words she had been wanting Callie to hear for months spewed forth without her permission.
“Oh God...I’m sorry Callie. I love y-you. I love you so f-fucking much.” she gasped out as her body rose up and collided with Callie’s.
Arizona’s words hit her heart at the same time her climax slammed through her body. She felt her walls clenching around her wife’s fingers as her arousal spilled down Arizona’s fingers and past her hand. Her body convulsed and shook and collided with Arizona’s as she tried to milk every second of pleasure she was just given. Words she hadn’t spoken in months, close to a year, in fact, tumbled from her mouth no matter how hard she tried to keep them to herself.
“I love you too, god I love you.”
Panting and whimpering and covered in sweat, Arizona’s lungs burned for air as the last vestiges of pleasure left her body. She closed her eyes and cherished this moment, for she knew that it wouldn’t last. Sure enough moments later after she had barely caught her breath she felt Callie’s weight leave her body. Immediately she felt cold and held her breath as she dreaded Callie kicking her out of not only their bed but the apartment. She rolled onto her side because she wasn’t sure she could handle looking at Callie as she told her to get out.
What happened next though shocked her more than anything that had happened that night. Just as she was about to get up and leave she felt an arm wrap around her middle and pull her backwards, so she she was cocooned within Callie’s arms. Her heart raced and her eyes teared up. Her wife was holding her. She was being spooned, something that had not happened in close to a year. Even when they had resumed their sex life, spooning never happened. She couldn’t remember the last time Callie held her. Before she could stop herself she was crying. Her tears leaked hotly onto her fair skin and she tried to bring her arm up to stop the stem of tears, not wanting to ruin this moment. She didn’t want to guilt trip Callie, but the overflowing cloud of emotions she was feeling now were overpowering and the only thing she could do was cry.
“Please don’t cry. I c-can’t take it when you cry.” said Callie softly.
The moment the sex had stopped, she had the fleeting urge to kick Arizona out, knowing how much it would hurt her, but then she had looked at her wife, naked and vulnerable and the last remaining pieces of ice had started to fade from her broken heart.
“I’ve been thinking all night about us...about what happened and...god Arizona I’m still so so mad at you and so unbelievably hurt.” said Callie quietly as she contemplated how to express how she was feeling.
Arizona stiffened in her arms but remained quiet. Callie deserved to have her say and if that included berating, screaming and yelling she would take it. At this point she would take anything compared to the stony silence she had been getting in the past months.
“Tonight though I’ve been thinking, actually not just tonight but it was tonight that really allowed me to realize something.”
Arizona held her breath as she waited for whatever realization it was that Callie had come to. Was it that their marriage was over? Was Callie about to tell her there was no hope and they should move on? Or was she about to finally give Arizona the one thing she had been begging for, for months?
“You’re not completely at fault. I mean don’t get me wrong, you decided to cheat and that is on you...but it takes two for a relationship to crumble and I...I think that maybe I haven’t been as understanding and supportive to you over this past year. I’ve been blind to how you’ve been feeling and...and I think, I just think that you’re not the only one who fucked up here Arizona.” said Callie as she held her breath awaiting a reaction from her wife.
Arizona wasn’t sure what to say. She didn’t want to contradict what Callie was saying because she felt like it was the truth. Callie had responsibility in all this but at the same time she didn't’ want to come across as though she was blaming Callie, because ultimately it was she who cheated, it was she that betrayed her wife, not the other way around.
Sensing her wife’s hesitance to answer, Callie leaned in close and kissed a lightly freckled shoulder, loving the shiver that rolled through her wife’s body at the contact. “You are allowed to answer. I know I haven’t exactly been receptive lately but I’m not going to shut you down this time.” said Callie.
Taking a breath and deciding to go for it; after all, she didn’t know when she would get a better opening than now, Arizona chose her words carefully while at the same time trying to be as truthful as possible. “You’re right. I feel as though...y..you...like it’s not just on me. I mean yes I cheated and me doing that, that is on me. I’m not blaming you for what I did that night but...I just feel as though it’s not just me you know?” Arizona rambled, finding it harder than she thought to articulate her thoughts without coming across as accusing.
“I know what you mean Arizona and you’re right. This isn’t only on you. It’s on both of us. I can see that now.” admitted Callie honestly.
Releasing a breath and feeling somewhat lighter, Arizona turned in Callie’s arms to look at her wife. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked at Callie. So beautiful she was that she stole her breath. She truly could not believe they were here right now.
“I don’t think I’ve ever said this to you before but I am so, so sorry Calliope, for hurting you like that. If you don’t ever believe another word that comes out of my mouth, please believe how sorry I am.” whispered Arizona earnestly.
Not wanting to cry for fear she may never stop Callie swallowed hard and nodded her head. A moment of silence passed where they both just watched each other, enjoying a moment that they both feared they would never have again. Eventually it was Arizona who spoke up, her voice timid and unsure.
“Where do we go from here Callie because...I love you and I’m not ready for this to end.”
This was the moment of truth. Callie could go against her her nearly every instinct and run in the opposite direction or she could give into what her heart and head was telling her which was to fight for her marriage, fight for the other mother of her child, her partner, her lover and her best friend.
“We’re not Okay….” Callie started and Arizona’s heart sank, ..”but I want to be Okay. No I want to be more than Okay but I’m worried that too much has happened, that we are both too damaged.” said Callie quietly, yet honestly, because she really was terrified that they had run out of chances by now.
Heart racing, Arizona moved forward so her forehead pressed against Callie’s. “I want that too and I know that I...that we both have so much work to do. I know it’s going to be hard and...and maybe some days you’ll want to run. Maybe some days you’ll remember what I did and you’ll hate me for it but I love you Calliope so much and I know we can make this work.” Arizona pleaded.
Looking at her wife, hearing the quiet plea for a second chance and knowing her heart couldn’t take another four months of no contact, Callie nodded her head as she released a breath. Tightening her hold on her wife she snuggled in close, kissing whatever part of her face she could reach.
“So tomorrow we rebook ourselves into couples therapy then.” said Callie as her eyelids started to droop.
Heart soaring, Arizona immediately agreed. “Thank you Callie. Um..do you want me to l-leave?” she asked hesitantly. While progress had been made she didn’t want to push her luck.
Squeezing her arms more securely around Arizona’s waist Callie shook her head and nuzzled into the crook of her wife’s neck.
“No. Stay. I need you to stay with me tonight.”
Smiling like a fool, Arizona barely managed to hold back the sob she wanted to release. Instead, she wrapped her arms around her wife so they were tangled up in each other.
“I’m not going anywhere. Not ever again.”