Nothing's changed but the surrounding bullshit...
Click to viewWatch the above video. I call it "The Walk Back Home". In which I'm walking home from a party, drunk, and attempt to give a closing monologue but then the camera battery dies on me. It's one of those amusing little videos you discover on your camera's memory stick the morning after, with no actual recollection of having recorded it, but I think it serves as a pretty good metaphor for what my life has been so far. I'm stumbling home, drunk and lethargic, trying to make some sense of it all... and then the camera dies on me.
The past couple of weeks have been an endless sucession of things not going quite right. Of me getting to the bus stop just two seconds as the last bus drives away, of phone calls that arrive just two minutes too late, or my cell phone suddenly crapping out on me or just my big mouth getting me into trouble due to a built-in ability to say the wrong things at the most painfully wrong times.
So I've been growing increasingly frustrated with myself. And the decisions that I've made. I'm frustrated with the type of person I've turned out to be and my total inability to learn anything from my past mistakes. I'm so fucking impulsive and so fucking irritable and so unreliable in every single way. My priorities are all messed up. The path that seemed so completely clear just a few months ago is now blurred and smudged and distorted and I can't really tell whether I want to make it out or not.
Alright, there was a much longer, more unbearable "woe-is-me, I am a confused college student" diatribe here, but I decided to spare you and replaced it with this amusing series of animated gifs that really illustrate what my life has been the past few weeks:
There. I don't think I need to say any more about that.
Other than that, what can I tell you? Work is good. I'm on a new project which is a lot more exhaustive and I have a much bigger responsibility on my shoulders, but I'm sure I'll be fine after a short period of adjustment. School is alright, I suppose. If "alright" means "I'm behind on schoolwork and there's a huge project I have to hand in on Tuesday that I haven't even started working on yet". Ah, I'll manage. See how optimistic I am about everything?
Speaking of school, one of my professors is fucking insane. First off, he looks exactly like Dr. House. No, honestly, cane and all. I've never seen such a strong resemblance between a person and a fictional character. He's such a wacky individual. A while ago we were discussing something-- probably Stanislavsky 'cause that's all we've been fucking talking about for the last few weeks-- and I was making a point. We were in the last ten minutes of class and I said something like, "well, that's as obvious as saying 'horses can't fly, you know?'". And he gave me a confused look for a couple of beats and said, "They don't?... MY HORSE!!" and ran out of the classroom. Didn't come back. We waited for him, too.
So anyway, last night. The company threw an "End of the Year" party, which is odd considering it's still November. But whatever. Free alcohol, lots of free food and free Tarot readings, too! I got mine read and it was the usual vague bullshit that coule be applied to about a million different situations, but it was free, so whatever. They also had a random cartoonist guy who drew me and it was awesome. I have no idea where the drawing ended up, though.
So anyway, I took some pictures.
And, as always, they're behind the cut.
Mister Nicholas, one of the very first people to welcome me into the pack and an all-around cool dude. Being "the new guy" at work can be pretty paralyzing, and him just randomly starting conversation with me on my first day was a big deal.
Oh yeah, open bar.
My reaction upon seeing the open bar. Note this is one of only two or three facial expressions I'll have throughout the whole night, apparently.
This guy is strange. I call him "Mr. Monk". Except not to his face, 'cause that would be mean. And not to my coworkers, because that would be unprofessional and I am the "new guy". In fact, only to myself. At night. When nobody's watching.
Now this guy is just awesome. His name is Mariano (there are a lot of "Mariano"s and "Mariana"s in Argentina) and not only does he look like Andrew WK, he behaves like him too. He's just an all-around, fun individual.
Michael. He's from Germany, speaks with a hysterical accent and is so fun I should just point a camera at him and start recording. Just him sitting there with a blank expression on his face is hilarious enough, but when he opens his mouth to say anything I crack up. Cool guy.
This is Will. He's my manager. He's usually quiet and hums random songs from The Simpsons.
This is Sarah. She's an incredibly sweet girl from Charlotte, NC who started working the same day I did. She's pretty funny, especially when she has a few drinks in her.
This is Mao Tse Tung.
From left to right, Paula, Sarah, some dork and Alexia.
Two very attractive young men.
I forget this guy's name.
Sarah and that guy behind her demonstrate the oft-ignored yet notoriously tough to master sport of synchronized blinking.
The jolly Canadian and some chick I'd never met.
Off to an early start.
This guy plays bass in an Oasis tribute band, lol.
There was a bellydancer.
That girl next to Alexia is an incredibly sweet young girl who works a couple desks away from me and acts just like a caring, nurturing grandmother. She calls me "honey" or "baby" and looks after me when I'm looking a bit under the weather. She's cool.
This is the horseshit scam artist who read my cards. You suck, lady. Fuck you.
The well-groomed and not-socially-awkward-at-all IT guys.
Marcos, the one and only.
Gayest. Picture. Ever.
This? Not so gay.
This is another video I found this morning. It's me "interviewing" Sarah. You can't see OR hear shit, but here's what I can make out...
Me: "Alright, so... this is the Avature End-of-the-year party. I'm sitting here with Sarah Dorsett Coe. And uh... I wanna know, what do (inaudible) two-month tenure?"
Sarah: "What do I think of what?"
Me: "(inaudible) in the company."
Sarah: "I think that I met Whorehay from Colombia, and he's (inaudible) shit... and I met Alexia, my other half..."
Me: "Hold on, hold on. Why am I full of shit?"
Sarah: "(inaudible)"
Me: "Oh, I thought you said 'I met whorehay from colombia and he's full of shit'"
Sarah: "COOL (as shit)!"
Me: "Oh! Alright... sorry about that. Alright, keep going."
Sarah: "Uh... I met Alexia, my other half... aaand..."
Me: "She's a bit crazy isn't she? Let's be honest here, Alexia is a little bit off..."
Sarah: "Off her rocker?"
Me: "Yeah, I would say so."
Sarah: "Yeah, but I love her. But she,s um, a little bit anal retentive. Yeah, she's pretty anal."
Me: "I would agree. So you come from, uh, Charlotte..."
Sarah: "NORTH CAROLINAAAAAAA!"
Me: "Alright..."
Sarah: "American by birth, southern by the grace of God."
Me: "... alright."
Sarah: "(inaudible)"
Me: "alright, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna wrap up this interview. So leave us with a pearl of wisdom."
Sarah: "... oh God, wisdom. Drink, drink and drink! That's pure wisdom for you."
Me: "Thank you very much, Sarah."
Sarah: "You're welcome!"
Jorge approves of this person.
Attempting to take a decent picture with Anita, take 1: Obscured by enormous, fluorescent finger.
Attempting to take a decent picture with Anita, take 2: Anita is suddenly mysteriously surrounded by some sort of possibly dangerous massive pink glob. Oh, wait.
Attempting to take a decent picture with Anita, take 3: Half of Anita's face has been, apparently, consumed by the pink giant glob. The glob smirks in satisfaction. RIP Anita.
Attempting to take a decent picture with Anita, take 4: Getting it right. The glob is none too pleased.
Dimitri (big boss-man) and the kids.
Marcia, this awesome American lady who brought me into the fold, and Dan from Connecticut.
Love in the boy's room?
Can you tell how I'm feeling at this very moment?
And with the now-obligatory mirror photo (in the elevator), I conclude this picture post.
I have to go to bed now. I have massive amounts of homework due monday and tuesday.
Shiiiiiit.