i havent been on in a while
let's see, in a nutshell:
went back to FSU. got used to the new schedule. meet back up with my friends from summer. all is well.
now, school is the most stressful thing in my life. and there is a possibility that it is taking my sanity from me.
i miss home. i've visited home twice, last time was a little over a month ago. i miss my mom. i've visited melbourne a lot. but i still miss nathan. and i miss my girls that go to USF now...but they'll be here on friday, which is really exciting.
started the circus up here. i'm doing web and handbalancing. it's a lot different up here. i'm still getting used it. and i'm trying to get back in shape.
lately, i've been in a real fog. i dont know what's bothering me. i dont know what's wrong. i dont even know if there is anything wrong. but something's off. maybe it's just because i miss bradenton (god help me, those words just came out haha). maybe it's because i have over 25 pages in papers due in the next week and a half. maybe i just miss all my friends from back home. maybe i miss nathan already.
but what i really think it is...i think it's longing to be able to go back and live in the past just for a little bit again. to go back and realize how good it all was. how the most stressful thing of all from them, is the easiest thing in the world to you now. i think it's from looking at my old pictures, remembering when they were taken, remembering how amazing i felt, and wishing i could go back to that day again. i think what i really miss is those "good old days." the days i ran around theater and circus. when the longest drive i had was to sarasota. when i filled my weekends with lazy beach days. when i rode with the windows down and watched the sunset over sarasota bay as i drove home. when i knew everyone. when i wasnt in charge of everything. when i didnt have to pay rent. when i had the option of blowing off my family for my friends. when not seeing each other for 2 days seemed like forever. when i didnt have homework. when it all just came together and everything just felt right. that's what i miss. that's what i'm longning for.
oh college...how you can torture me.
went back to FSU. got used to the new schedule. meet back up with my friends from summer. all is well.
now, school is the most stressful thing in my life. and there is a possibility that it is taking my sanity from me.
i miss home. i've visited home twice, last time was a little over a month ago. i miss my mom. i've visited melbourne a lot. but i still miss nathan. and i miss my girls that go to USF now...but they'll be here on friday, which is really exciting.
started the circus up here. i'm doing web and handbalancing. it's a lot different up here. i'm still getting used it. and i'm trying to get back in shape.
lately, i've been in a real fog. i dont know what's bothering me. i dont know what's wrong. i dont even know if there is anything wrong. but something's off. maybe it's just because i miss bradenton (god help me, those words just came out haha). maybe it's because i have over 25 pages in papers due in the next week and a half. maybe i just miss all my friends from back home. maybe i miss nathan already.
but what i really think it is...i think it's longing to be able to go back and live in the past just for a little bit again. to go back and realize how good it all was. how the most stressful thing of all from them, is the easiest thing in the world to you now. i think it's from looking at my old pictures, remembering when they were taken, remembering how amazing i felt, and wishing i could go back to that day again. i think what i really miss is those "good old days." the days i ran around theater and circus. when the longest drive i had was to sarasota. when i filled my weekends with lazy beach days. when i rode with the windows down and watched the sunset over sarasota bay as i drove home. when i knew everyone. when i wasnt in charge of everything. when i didnt have to pay rent. when i had the option of blowing off my family for my friends. when not seeing each other for 2 days seemed like forever. when i didnt have homework. when it all just came together and everything just felt right. that's what i miss. that's what i'm longning for.
oh college...how you can torture me.