This one is going to be emotional
How's your life?
What's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend
How's your life? What's it like there? Is it all what you want it to be?
I've realized in the past few weeks just how important to me my friends are. My family. Cause when you have nothing left, your real friends are there to take care of you, cheer you up, make sure you're okay. What would i do without my friends?
Every once in awhile i start missing old times, like when we used to chat all together in chats after an OC episode, or when i would stay up all night to chat with my friends, laugh to tears. And i would go to bed at 9 am MY time because we were all over the freaking planet and everyone would be in different time zones. And then i start wondering what exactly happened to that, to us? How did we lose touch, we were so close. Some of them have been there through some fucking hard times, some have been there anytime i would yell "I'm on the verge to cry i need you".
"Thank god she saw the fucking multicolored flashing sign"
And we were there for each other. Why is it that you have to choose some friends over the others because you simply don't have time to stay in touch with all of them? For 2-3-4 years we were there for each others every step of the way. We got close, so close that they were the ones i was confiding in instead of my "real life" friends. But they were real to me even tho they were on the other side of the world. I learnt so much with them, and every day i think 'bout them and wonder "what the hell fucking happened that i lost most of that?"
So i guess no. It's not all i want it to be. There are things you can change in your life, but why is it so hard to reconnect with an old friend when you havent talked to them in a long time? Because when you last talked, you said stuff that you didn't really mean? Because when you last talked, you were fighting instead of just talking calmly about what was going on in your head and your heart? It is so easy to lose people, people who helped you become a better person, people who were there when you needed them the most but -hell you don't even really remember why- you lost touch and now look at you. Even sending them two words seem too weird for you, cause you don't know if they'll be like "what the fuck. why after so many years?" How do you break the ice?
I met some awesome people during those years. Some mature women who helped me become the person i am today.
"Take your time to make the right decisions. Don't let others influence you, it is your life, your future"
I met some teens that went thru what i went thru 10 years ago. I helped them - well at least i hope so.
I met an awesome girl who was the most insecure lady in the world, going thru a rough time, and i was there every time she needed me, just like she was there every time i needed her. And today i look up to her, cause she's a strong woman, awesome, who is a true fighter and knows what she wants and is going to get it. She just got married and i thank god that we still email, cause i am so proud of her and the woman she became. She's a role model.
I met my best friend. Someone who was there, who reads my soul so good that i can't lie to him. Someone so identical to me in a lot of ways that it made me comfy telling him everything. Opening up. Letting the "Mary wall" down. Letting him in, letting him see my secret garden. He asks the right questions. And he'll always have that piece of my heart. "You're my secret place, where i can be myself."
I met a sister who couldn't be more like me. I say hello and she already knows how i feel, and she's there every step of the way, every time i'm sad, happy, every time i have time to email her, i do, and she never makes me feel like i don't email her enough.
Because that's hard. Keeping in touch with all of them, or keeping in touch at all. It's not that i don't want to. It's just that i can't seem to find the time. And it makes me freaking mad at myself. I can't seem to get over the fact that my friends are my everything and i can't find time to keep up with them. It doesn't make sense to me. So i guess telling you all of that is my way of telling you "thank you my friend" of letting you know i think of you, you're in my heart even tho i'm not really there.
I've been thru some stuff lately, and as usual that's all i'll say because i'm not the one to open up, and not on my LJ - in a public entry - and i'm not ready to open up about this. And i'm not the one who'll open up that easily anyway, but - i've been thru a rough time emotionally lately. Sometimes you hope for something and you don't get it - then you have to cope with it. "Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first. Sometimes the first thing you want never comes" I wasn't feeling good. And i saw how my friends were there for me. And wanting to help me. - i didn't let them in because well... that's who i am - but i was happy to see they were there. Am i also? Because i want to be.
It made me realize once again just how much friends are your greatest treasure. You have to take care of them. They make you smile, they make you happy, they make you become a better person.
I don't know if i'll ever reconnect with all of you from 2001 to 2006. I don't know what will happen or if you will write me back or anything. I just want to tell you all that i miss you. That i miss the convos we had, the laughters, the randomness, the connection. That i'm truly sorry if i don't email you often - or ever. That i'm def. trying to find a way to keep in "better" touch.
Maybe someday I will see you again And you'll look me in my eyes and call me a friend
To:
Mel the amazing writer
Crys So damn proud of you, sexy girl!
Liz the most beautiful girl and best photographer ever
David the one and only
Buzz the ghost!
Girly my golden twinster
Deb the most obsessed one!
Eggo the sweetest on earth
Ginny "la belle fleur!"
Maroo the canadian wannabe and soulmate in 2006!
Jase my c.h. <3. we need a chat!
Emma My random IM friend
Punkin the one and only booker and also facebook friend now!
Scoobs my canuck sister
Smittie oh-god-how-i-miss-you!
Vik-Viks-Vikster -Happy Bday by the way :)
Chloe my little aussie sista. hang in there!
and i know i'm missing tons and i'm sorry for it! Please don't take it personal.
What's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend
How's your life? What's it like there? Is it all what you want it to be?
I've realized in the past few weeks just how important to me my friends are. My family. Cause when you have nothing left, your real friends are there to take care of you, cheer you up, make sure you're okay. What would i do without my friends?
Every once in awhile i start missing old times, like when we used to chat all together in chats after an OC episode, or when i would stay up all night to chat with my friends, laugh to tears. And i would go to bed at 9 am MY time because we were all over the freaking planet and everyone would be in different time zones. And then i start wondering what exactly happened to that, to us? How did we lose touch, we were so close. Some of them have been there through some fucking hard times, some have been there anytime i would yell "I'm on the verge to cry i need you".
"Thank god she saw the fucking multicolored flashing sign"
And we were there for each other. Why is it that you have to choose some friends over the others because you simply don't have time to stay in touch with all of them? For 2-3-4 years we were there for each others every step of the way. We got close, so close that they were the ones i was confiding in instead of my "real life" friends. But they were real to me even tho they were on the other side of the world. I learnt so much with them, and every day i think 'bout them and wonder "what the hell fucking happened that i lost most of that?"
So i guess no. It's not all i want it to be. There are things you can change in your life, but why is it so hard to reconnect with an old friend when you havent talked to them in a long time? Because when you last talked, you said stuff that you didn't really mean? Because when you last talked, you were fighting instead of just talking calmly about what was going on in your head and your heart? It is so easy to lose people, people who helped you become a better person, people who were there when you needed them the most but -hell you don't even really remember why- you lost touch and now look at you. Even sending them two words seem too weird for you, cause you don't know if they'll be like "what the fuck. why after so many years?" How do you break the ice?
I met some awesome people during those years. Some mature women who helped me become the person i am today.
"Take your time to make the right decisions. Don't let others influence you, it is your life, your future"
I met some teens that went thru what i went thru 10 years ago. I helped them - well at least i hope so.
I met an awesome girl who was the most insecure lady in the world, going thru a rough time, and i was there every time she needed me, just like she was there every time i needed her. And today i look up to her, cause she's a strong woman, awesome, who is a true fighter and knows what she wants and is going to get it. She just got married and i thank god that we still email, cause i am so proud of her and the woman she became. She's a role model.
I met my best friend. Someone who was there, who reads my soul so good that i can't lie to him. Someone so identical to me in a lot of ways that it made me comfy telling him everything. Opening up. Letting the "Mary wall" down. Letting him in, letting him see my secret garden. He asks the right questions. And he'll always have that piece of my heart. "You're my secret place, where i can be myself."
I met a sister who couldn't be more like me. I say hello and she already knows how i feel, and she's there every step of the way, every time i'm sad, happy, every time i have time to email her, i do, and she never makes me feel like i don't email her enough.
Because that's hard. Keeping in touch with all of them, or keeping in touch at all. It's not that i don't want to. It's just that i can't seem to find the time. And it makes me freaking mad at myself. I can't seem to get over the fact that my friends are my everything and i can't find time to keep up with them. It doesn't make sense to me. So i guess telling you all of that is my way of telling you "thank you my friend" of letting you know i think of you, you're in my heart even tho i'm not really there.
I've been thru some stuff lately, and as usual that's all i'll say because i'm not the one to open up, and not on my LJ - in a public entry - and i'm not ready to open up about this. And i'm not the one who'll open up that easily anyway, but - i've been thru a rough time emotionally lately. Sometimes you hope for something and you don't get it - then you have to cope with it. "Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first. Sometimes the first thing you want never comes" I wasn't feeling good. And i saw how my friends were there for me. And wanting to help me. - i didn't let them in because well... that's who i am - but i was happy to see they were there. Am i also? Because i want to be.
It made me realize once again just how much friends are your greatest treasure. You have to take care of them. They make you smile, they make you happy, they make you become a better person.
I don't know if i'll ever reconnect with all of you from 2001 to 2006. I don't know what will happen or if you will write me back or anything. I just want to tell you all that i miss you. That i miss the convos we had, the laughters, the randomness, the connection. That i'm truly sorry if i don't email you often - or ever. That i'm def. trying to find a way to keep in "better" touch.
Maybe someday I will see you again And you'll look me in my eyes and call me a friend
To:
Mel the amazing writer
Crys So damn proud of you, sexy girl!
Liz the most beautiful girl and best photographer ever
David the one and only
Buzz the ghost!
Girly my golden twinster
Deb the most obsessed one!
Eggo the sweetest on earth
Ginny "la belle fleur!"
Maroo the canadian wannabe and soulmate in 2006!
Jase my c.h. <3. we need a chat!
Emma My random IM friend
Punkin the one and only booker and also facebook friend now!
Scoobs my canuck sister
Smittie oh-god-how-i-miss-you!
Vik-Viks-Vikster -Happy Bday by the way :)
Chloe my little aussie sista. hang in there!
and i know i'm missing tons and i'm sorry for it! Please don't take it personal.