My brain chooses and I despair
So my brain has decided to become thoroughly occupied by soap operas and by werewolves. It's been a heck of a couple of weeks.
You may recall a while back I talked about how I suddenly got emotional and obsessive about the Brendan/Ste pairing in the British soap Hollyoaks. Well now it's happened with American soaps, which is bizarre as they're not shown over here. I shouldn't have read The Backlot's 50 Greatest Gay Television Characters, it absolutely got me intrigued. It listed some characters I got interested in and voom, they occupied my brain and refused to leave. First I got interested in Will/Sonny from Days of Our Lives, who are the soap's first same-sex supercouple and are still together on screen right now, then I got interested in Christian/Olli from a German soap opera (Forbidden Love) who are both adorable and heartbreaking and I have to stop watching subtitled YouTube clips of them because it drags me in and I stop writing. Lastly I started looking into Noah/Luke from As The World Turns, infamously one of the first male gay couples of American daytime television - what's really notable about them is how much they couldn't do on network television in 2007, fans got annoyed that they didn't seem to kiss as much as the straight couples and that the consummation of their relationship took so long to get to, again if it'd been a straight couple they wouldn't have waited so long. What I really love about the Noah/Luke fans is that they're still very active online, there's still a yearly Nuke Big Bang for example. It's kind of awesome that even though the show was cancelled a few years back, people are still writing their love for that couple.
My brain has decided it wants to join in so I have a weird idea for a Noah/Luke Dom/sub fic but I'm not sure if anyone will read it since the fandom is rather challenge-based and I'm late to the party and it all makes sense in my head but I don't really know the characters and um...help? I might put a signal out on an LJ comm or two to ask for a beta. Also I have werewolf fics to write first, seriously, I finished a seventeen page one yesterday, I wrote it quicker than I usually write anything that long. I felt possessed. Now I've got a werewolf fic to write for an RPF fandom which sprung into my brain like a determined mutant the other day and then I might be brave enough to try this Nuke fic. I'm quite scared to do it because it'll be a real challenge for me, a new fandom for me and I'm new to the characters etc and there's part of me shouting 'no one will read it, small fandom!' But then the werewolf fic I just finished is for a small RPF fandom and I still wrote the crap out of that - my poor beta, she's been ill and I'm going to sending her two monster-sized fics to read through. I'm sorry and I love you!
The thing is why do I always forget that getting into soap operas is a bad idea? Everything ends badly! There's always terrible things happening, because long-term happiness is boring apparently, and no couple stays together long, urgh. So basically it's the opposite of what is emotionally healthy for me. And I always get drawn back in.You'd think I'd learn my lesson by now...nope, apparently not. I hate my brain.
Really I should just stop worrying about anyone reading my Nuke fic idea and just write it, because I want to, I like the story mapping itself out in my head, I can't see it working with any other characters that I like writing. The muse has spoken lol. I feel nervous but I'm gonna try taking the plunge this weekend. Sometimes it's so easy to fall into thinking that reviews are what matter, how many you get etc, but that shouldn't be so important. It shouldn't, but it's hard to remember that sometimes.
You may recall a while back I talked about how I suddenly got emotional and obsessive about the Brendan/Ste pairing in the British soap Hollyoaks. Well now it's happened with American soaps, which is bizarre as they're not shown over here. I shouldn't have read The Backlot's 50 Greatest Gay Television Characters, it absolutely got me intrigued. It listed some characters I got interested in and voom, they occupied my brain and refused to leave. First I got interested in Will/Sonny from Days of Our Lives, who are the soap's first same-sex supercouple and are still together on screen right now, then I got interested in Christian/Olli from a German soap opera (Forbidden Love) who are both adorable and heartbreaking and I have to stop watching subtitled YouTube clips of them because it drags me in and I stop writing. Lastly I started looking into Noah/Luke from As The World Turns, infamously one of the first male gay couples of American daytime television - what's really notable about them is how much they couldn't do on network television in 2007, fans got annoyed that they didn't seem to kiss as much as the straight couples and that the consummation of their relationship took so long to get to, again if it'd been a straight couple they wouldn't have waited so long. What I really love about the Noah/Luke fans is that they're still very active online, there's still a yearly Nuke Big Bang for example. It's kind of awesome that even though the show was cancelled a few years back, people are still writing their love for that couple.
My brain has decided it wants to join in so I have a weird idea for a Noah/Luke Dom/sub fic but I'm not sure if anyone will read it since the fandom is rather challenge-based and I'm late to the party and it all makes sense in my head but I don't really know the characters and um...help? I might put a signal out on an LJ comm or two to ask for a beta. Also I have werewolf fics to write first, seriously, I finished a seventeen page one yesterday, I wrote it quicker than I usually write anything that long. I felt possessed. Now I've got a werewolf fic to write for an RPF fandom which sprung into my brain like a determined mutant the other day and then I might be brave enough to try this Nuke fic. I'm quite scared to do it because it'll be a real challenge for me, a new fandom for me and I'm new to the characters etc and there's part of me shouting 'no one will read it, small fandom!' But then the werewolf fic I just finished is for a small RPF fandom and I still wrote the crap out of that - my poor beta, she's been ill and I'm going to sending her two monster-sized fics to read through. I'm sorry and I love you!
The thing is why do I always forget that getting into soap operas is a bad idea? Everything ends badly! There's always terrible things happening, because long-term happiness is boring apparently, and no couple stays together long, urgh. So basically it's the opposite of what is emotionally healthy for me. And I always get drawn back in.You'd think I'd learn my lesson by now...nope, apparently not. I hate my brain.
Really I should just stop worrying about anyone reading my Nuke fic idea and just write it, because I want to, I like the story mapping itself out in my head, I can't see it working with any other characters that I like writing. The muse has spoken lol. I feel nervous but I'm gonna try taking the plunge this weekend. Sometimes it's so easy to fall into thinking that reviews are what matter, how many you get etc, but that shouldn't be so important. It shouldn't, but it's hard to remember that sometimes.